Ask an absentee father.

[vorlon13]

If she is receiving public aid of any sort, I feel strongly that until she is 18, 50% of the support be issued to you to spend as you see fit on her care.


Will this be an inconvenience ??

[Rayaan]

This is, well, sad ... but you posted this thread in the Humor section?



Weirdo. 

[The Grand Nudger]

Whose choice?

Her mother's...though obviously we both had to sign the papers. She lost, that loving feeling. That's the whole story.

That breaks my heart.

Mine too.

Culture as in different country?

May as well have been, lol. 

Do you plan on getting back in her life sometime?

That's up to her, and her mother.  My dad adopted me and gave me his name.  I met my biological father once.  I know that my horning in ininvited in their lives would be as potentially disruptive and harmful to whatever it is they have apart from me...and that what they have may be very nice.  I trust that her mother will know the best interests of her daughter...and that when my daughter is old enough to make that determination for herself, she will also make a decision in her own best interests.  We have joint custody, technically.  I just don't press visitation.  Her other put more than a thousand miles between us.  That was her choice.  I respect it even even I don;t like it or agree with it, even though it makes joint custody little more than a polite legal arrangement.  

Does it bother you that you don't know her?

Boru

Very, very much.  I approach the status of useless wreck every year around her birthday....which is this month.  I was going to pull the wool over her eyes hard..and tell her that everyone put on costumes and gave out candy for her birthday.  It's difficult to describe the misery I feel in knowing that I've missed the opportunity to flagrantly lie to my child, and in doing so..help us both to learn a little bit about each other.  Every interaction i have with her siblings reminds me of that, and of her.  

Do you pay child support?

The only other questions I have are questions that other people mentioned.  What do you mean by culture?  What kind of distance?

I pay out the ass.  My child support commitmnt is higher than the majority of american workers take-home  pay.  I also signed away the house and the car, while she declared individual bankruptcy and stuck me with her (and our) credit debt.  

Do you think it would have worked out with more Jesus in your life?

LOL, probably not....she was a bit of a pagan herself.

If she is receiving public aid of any sort, I feel strongly that until she is 18, 50% of the support be issued to you to spend as you see fit on her care.


Will this be an inconvenience ??

IDK if she's on public assistance.  I doubt it.  I'll actually be paying until she's 24, and I'm on the hook for half of tuition and any medical expenses, as per our custody agreement. I could send more money, if I so chose or wished for something specific in her care as a saw it...but I don't have that sort of relationship and I do have alot of other mouths to feed. As to the amount sent, I;m comfortable sending it and letting her mother spend it as she sees fit. They have a life. I don;t know anything about it, she does..I married a smart cookie (I like smart girls), there;s no honest distrust in me for how she spends it...and no feeling that I would know better or have any purchase in how those funds are spent.

[The Grand Nudger]

This is, well, sad ... but you posted this thread in the Humor section?



Weirdo. 

Sometimes laughter is all that holds back the tears, friend.  

(i probably should have put in an irrelevant poll too, for good measure)

[Rayaan]

Sometimes laughter is all that holds back the tears, friend.  

I'm laughing into tears.

[The Grand Nudger]

[LadyForCamus]

So sorry to hear of this, Rhythm. [emoji853]. How old is she?

[The Grand Nudger]

She's a teenager, now. I haven't seen her or spoken to hear since she was 1. The last I saw of her was a 2 hour ride to the airport. I just stared and smiled, she was oblivious and I couldn't have started crying then and stopped, like, ever.

[Whateverist]

Do you think it would have worked out with more Jesus in your life?

Perhaps with extra special sauce?

[Whateverist]

But seriously that's a tough one. You're certainly well provided for as far as heirs are concerned. Still the question of who this person is and whether contact with you would be good for her and something she would want would prey on my mind. Does she live far from you (i.e., is a little discreet stalking an option)?