Advice needed

[brewer]

If she is not harming herself or others, they (the church) is not harming her and she is happy, from my POV you're gonna have to let it go. You don't get to force her not to believe any more than she gets to force you to believe. 

Who knows, the church and their community may be filling a need that she was missing. Kind of sad but it may be true. Would you say that she was in a place that would make her susceptible to their sales pitch?

Sorry, but I don't share your happily libertarian attitude towards family-destroying cults.

If they practise scientology-style disconnection, and it sounds that way,  it's a case for professionals who know how cults work. Yes, they probably fill a need of hers, but exploiting said need as a vulerability to psychologically isolate and enslave people is not cool, don't you think?

If it's a cult, then I would agree with you. I have not seen cult yet in what Mike has said.

[Aegon]

Sorry, but I don't share your happily libertarian attitude towards family-destroying cults.

If they practise scientology-style disconnection, and it sounds that way,  it's a case for professionals who know how cults work. Yes, they probably fill a need of hers, but exploiting said need as a vulerability to psychologically isolate and enslave people is not cool, don't you think?

If it's a cult, then I would agree with you. I have not seen cult yet in what Mike has said.

I know little about communes, but deciding to go live in a religious-based commune and cutting off communication with others for at least 2 months sounds cult-like.

[AceBoogie]

Wow man. This sounds like a very intense situation.

Honestly though, I've always seen family as a privilege, not a right. If she feels like these other people are more important than you guys.. that's her choice, as wrong and misguided as that choice may be. Hope she turns her shit around, but honestly there's not a whole lot you can do. Just let her work through whatever it is she's going through.

Apparently those people are giving her something she was searching for.

I once heard a story of a wife who cheated on her husband with a man who thought he was jesus. Turns out the wife convinced the husband to let this 'friend' of hers sleep on their couch for months on end prior to him finding out the two had been fucking the whole time. I believe when the two got divorced she gathered some of her things and went to go live on a commune with the guy and a bunch of his 'followers.' How sad.

Moral of the story: people do radical things in the name of their beliefs. Let her work through this.

[Doubting Thomas]

It's too late. They've already eaten her brain and turned her into one of them.

Seriously, it does sound like she's gotten into a brainwashing cult. They start by feigning unconditional love & acceptance to get her feeling warm fuzzies, then slowly convince her that she can't have any contact with the evil heathens outside the cult, i.e. her family. I wish I knew the best course of action to take, but aside from a cult deprogrammer I'm afraid there's little recourse. If she's over 18 there's no way you can force her to speak to a deprogrammer. I guess the only thing you can do is just let her know that you love her and that you'll be there for her if she ever decides to leave that group and come back to you. And hope that it doesn't turn into a crazy suicide cult.

[Minimalist]

She's been drawn into a cult.  There is nothing you can do.

[brewer]

If it's a cult, then I would agree with you. I have not seen cult yet in what Mike has said.

I know little about communes, but deciding to go live in a religious-based commune and cutting off communication with others for at least 2 months sounds cult-like.

I didn't see a description of the commune. What if the commune is only the new boyfriends house. Other than his/her family, I didn't hear of cutting of communication or the church controlling communication. 

I'm not willing to make a determination based on little or lacking information. 

All of this could be the result of new love gone astray.

I'm going to wait and see what else Mike has to say.

[Shell B]

Um, holy shit. No, I don't really have any experience with this kind of thing. I have a cousin by marriage who is a crazy Mormon or something (Jehovah, maybe?). She won't talk to us, but I'm not very put off by it, so I've got nothing. Good luck.

[Athene]

Well...IF she's actually involved in a cult, there's a decent chance there's some law skirtin' going about. If your family has the means, I'd suggest hiring an experienced investigator to look into this so-called pastor's comings and goings, financial habits, etc. 

If anything illegal turns up, take it to the cops.

[Sterben]

Your don't have a leg to stand on gimpy. If she's willing to join something like that as adult there nothing you can do about it. As others said if anything illegal is going on, proofing it will be difficult though.

[Whateverist]

If she is not harming herself or others, they (the church) is not harming her and she is happy, from my POV you're gonna have to let it go. You don't get to force her not to believe any more than she gets to force you to believe. 

Who knows, the church and their community may be filling a need that she was missing. Kind of sad but it may be true. Would you say that she was in a place that would make her susceptible to their sales pitch?

Sorry, but I don't share your happily libertarian attitude towards family-destroying cults.

If they practise scientology-style disconnection, and it sounds that way,  it's a case for professionals who know how cults work. Yes, they probably fill a need of hers, but exploiting said need as a vulerability to psychologically isolate and enslave people is not cool, don't you think?

I don't think it is necessarily a matter of being too easy going.  If you fight her on it, it likely won't change her mind but it may well push her away and out of your life.  Very sad though.

Wait. Is she a minor? Screw that, get her out of there.

Nope. She's 22. It's her call.