[split] The Newly Departed thread: announcements (departures)

[Edwardo Piet]

Hammy, for whatever it might be worth, arguing with others about the way they're perceiving you is pretty pointless.  The brute fact is they are perceiving you the way they do.  They can't be mistaken about this.[...]

I just thought I meant more than that. They mean (or meant) more than that to me. And maybe still do mean.

I am disillusoned with the whole world. I am too depressed and sad and at a standstill to throw anything away but. Standstill isn't a life flowing with what i thought my life and life itself was like



Nothing.

Means.

What.

I think it meaningfully means.

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One of the keys of recovery for me is the understanding that I cannot control how others see me, and to just be the best person I can be ... And hold on to those who seem to see the real me.

Very very few people see the real me and how heavy it makes me sink when I realize they don't see how me how I thought they did tears me apart

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I don't think this badly of people i value or at least certainly not in any lasting way when nothing deep has happened

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I highly doubt Nymphadora or anyone here would have minded resetting this whole business, and I tried ending this chapter with love for all so he could come back and not feel uncomfortable.  Instead he came back to pick at his own wounds, demonstrate that the water is not under the bridge, and inflict new wounds with a smile on his face. That shit doesn't fly, and you can't force it to.

I wans't picking at old wounds I was showing genuine love and kindness.

Why do people I care about think so little of me so suddenly and so easily can I please not ever invest my feelings like this again I hate my life right now

I am so forgettable.

Why am I even here.

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I'll second Luckie on there being exactly zero flaming on this entire thread.

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Albeit far from me to question the mods decision to speedbump this thread, I see no flaming, here, and simply feel censored at this point. Any reconciliation I could've acquired with Alisdair has now been completely halted because our discussion is now halted. He can neither respond to my question about where he apologized like he said he did, nor can I explain to him why a long term friendship of sorts, is over and where he went wrong. What's more--is that he reiterated his invitation for "honesty" from us. Any messages I sent him were constructive, not insulting. If he's honest with himself and us we might've had a progressive discussion. Instead we are met with censorship. Protecting a member from themselves through such means isn't going to remedy anything. Report me if you want, I've done nothing wrong. 

Catholic Lady what exactly are you laughing about? Just curious. 

my bolding.

Wow talk about a shallow and superifical friendship then. If firendships can end over mere disaagreement over petty issues and friends I care about can change how they feel about me based on petty disagreements then fucking hell what the fuck is fucking wrong with people?! How many people can't fucking handle basic disagreement? Talk about a fucking SJW dictatorship. Why do I even bother investing emotional and motivational energy in my life!?!??!?!

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To everyone involved -- comes a time when we should realize we're shoveling good money in after bad.

Picking at wounds generally slows down healing.

I highly doubt Nymphadora or anyone here would have minded resetting this whole business, and I tried ending this chapter with love for all so he could come back and not feel uncomfortable.  Instead he came back to pick at his own wounds, demonstrate that the water is not under the bridge, and inflict new wounds with a smile on his face. That shit doesn't fly, and you can't force it to.

Speedbump

• Flaming
  Flaming is not allowed. We consider flaming to be the act of creating a series of posts that are either entirely or mostly comprised of insulting language aimed at another member, whether they are involved in the thread or not. This rule is intended to prevent members from using the forums to attack other members repeatedly. 
  
  As discussions that involve controversial or taboo subjects often tend to get heated for those involved, the occasional insult is to be expected, and will not violate this rule. Staff will take into consideration the context surrounding the insult when determining whether this rule has been violated. More generally, a violation of this rule occurs when a member's posts are repeatedly inflammatory or insulting without adding anything to the discussion at hand.
  
  

Albeit far from me to question the mods decision to speedbump this thread, I see no flaming, here, and simply feel censored at this point. Any reconciliation I could've acquired with Alisdair has now been completely halted because our discussion is now halted. He can neither respond to my question about where he apologized like he said he did, nor can I explain to him why a long term friendship of sorts, is over and where he went wrong. What's more--is that he reiterated his invitation for "honesty" from us. Any messages I sent him were constructive, not insulting. If he's honest with himself and us we might've had a progressive discussion. Instead we are met with censorship. Protecting a member from themselves through such means isn't going to remedy anything. Report me if you want, I've done nothing wrong. 

Catholic Lady what exactly are you laughing about? Just curious. 

My bolding.

Yes I reitrerated an inviatation for honesty and the messages I received were constructive so when I say that when I've emotional it doesn't mean I don't still want honesty it doesn't mean that I don't still want honesty it means that when I'm emotional it doesn't mean that I don't still want honesty. When I say I still want honesty regardless of how I react emotionally it means I still want honesty regardless of how I react emotionally.

I give up. If I say 2+2=4 over and over and you say I'm saying it's 5 then I give up what's the point why do I bother this is fucking awful I am literally telling you that my emotions do not mean I don't want to hear it I'M LITERALLY SAYING I STILL APPRECIATE YOUR HONESTY. IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO ACCEPT THAT WHEN I SAY I APPRECIATE SOMETHIG I MEAN THAT I APPREICATE SOMETHING THEN WHY THE FUCK DID I CONSIDER YOU A FRIEND.

[Losty]

The purpose of a speed bump is to head off any potential problems not to castigate anyone. You can take it as it is, or you can take it for something that it is not. It was voted on by staff and was not meant as any personal slight from me to anyone in this thread. You're all welcome to continue posting here, the thread hasn't been shut down. While my personal opinion is that it's more suited to a private conversation, I have no interest in censoring anyone who follows the rules. If you're not flaming and you don't plan to, then you have nothing to worry about.

[Mystical]

Hammie I'm not going to block you. See u say things like "why am I even here" and its like.. hurts my heart. I mean, wtf am I supposed to say? Its the same post that started this commotion; people tried to give you constructive guidance and/or reassurances and/or criticism for sèeking reassurances, and things got heated. I personally feel you dealt Nymphadora an unfair response, thats the only reason I'm here. In short, I do care about you and Nymphadora and ShellB and Catholic Lady and Thumpalumpalicious and everyone else who don't want you to feel unwanted and leave feeling that way. We cant stop you from feeling that way, but I'm going to have to stop letting you make me feel bad when you post stuff like "I'm leaving and need reassurances that I shouldn't". Thats, literally, all this was about. Its dumb, you wear me out with your long post responses refuting people in other threads for trying to help you althen go to the departed thread and say you're leving, and I just.. cant. But that doesnt mean I dont want you around, ok? I just don't want to hold any responsibility for you feeling like u need to leave--by neglect or abandonment. You're a grown ass man, if you feel unwelcome its not because you're unwelcome on my end and thats the last time I'm going to say,it.

[Iroscato]

Moderator Notice
I'm bringing this thread to a decisive and overdue end.