meaningless sex, or loving affection?

[paulpablo]

I've been in both situations near enough and both give me a feeling of depression so I voted other because I can't decide.

I was with a girl I loved for about 2 years and she would never have normal sexual intercourse because of a phobia she had.

We did other sexual things though.

If there were 0 sexual things being doing I couldn't cope.

I also once had sex for reasons that are totally beyond me now, with the ugliest girl I've slept with who I think possibly also had the ugliest personality of any girl I've slept with.
I wasn't even desperate for sex at the time I think I was just bored. But I can't imagine being desperate for sex enough to have sex with someone like that again.

I keep on getting tempted to say I'd rather go without the sex and have lots of hugs and kisses with a girl I so care for but I know how crazy id get in that situation.

After day 7 of hugging and kissing I'd probably just prematurely ejaculate mid kiss/hug.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

If I love someone and she loves me, I can't imagine the 'kissing, hugging, cuddling, etc' not leading to sex. I've had sex with people I wasn't in love with, and been in love-relationships that didn't involve sex. Neither situation was particularly satisfying. Shallow of me, perhaps, but I don't seem to be able to separate 'sex' and 'loving affection'.

I am hopelessly, helplessly, deliriously in love with my wife, and it's the best sex I've ever had.

Boru

[AkiraTheViking]

Meaningless, because it's easier.

[Mystical]

If in a terrible car crash my wife was paralyzed from the waist down I would continue to faithfully love her for the rest of my life...for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.

Fair enough but lets reverse the role situation--since she's still able to be emotionally amd physically intimate with you (youd just have to do the legwork for her so to speak), what's the comparison you're trying to make? And why specify waist down? Is neck down paralysis off the table for you?

How bout if you were paralyzed waist down? What if she couldn't handle i you not being able to be sexually intimate with her? Would you let her have sex with someone else, try to please her with other means (ie: vibrators), would you pull the "till death do us part" celibacy by circumstance card, or would you set her free *if she was unhappy. I'm NOT saying you cant have a fulfilling relationship in such a circumstance, I'm just wondering your thoughts on an actual relationship crisis situation?

---

Written by me initially, bolded by me officially 

...why specify waist down? Is neck down paralysis off the table for you?

My vow, to death do us part, extends to cover even a persistent vegetative state in which neither sex nor reciprocal affection would be possible. Whether I would be able to endure that tragedy while honoring that vow is another issue. I can only hope that the Lord would grant me that strength.

Good for you, thanks for the candid answer.
Interesting how you gave yourself an out by saying "hoped" that god would help you "find the strength".
Do you think you're strong enough to endure it right now, sans magical gods extra strength powers?
Additionally would your wife want you to take care of her in a vegetative state the rest of your life? Me, I couldn't do that to my husband. Then again I was raised helping the working in nursing homes, group homes, and with severely incapacitated handicapped individuals. If I needed my spit sucked out of my mouth because I couldn't swallow, and was bedbound in an excruciatingly locked positoon for life, unable to even acknowledge my environment--I sure as hell wouldn't wish my husband to sped the rest of our lives, sucking up my spit. But hey thats me. How's your wife feel on the subject?

How bout if you were paralyzed waist down? ...would you set her free *if she was unhappy.

What makes you assume that people cannot be happy just because sensual pleasure is difficult or impossible? As a general statement, I find it very sad that Western cultures have become so obsessed with sex. Your question, as honest as it may be, seems emblematic of how corrupt and selfish society has become. We have lost the wisdom of prior ages that understood carnal pleasures pale in comparison to the blessings of virtue.

While we both hope our physical intimacy will continue indefinitely, our profound conjugal love goes far beyond sensual pleasures. In the end, I find greater joy in selfless service and tender kindnesses to her. We have discussed all the implications of "till death do us part" and we both agree on what that means. If the only act of physical intimacy that remains for us is to hold hands then that will more than suffice.

Bold added by me. 

Why do you keep cherrypicking what I say, to conform it to your "world view of how 'society' blah bla blah?" You did it in my "What I want for Christmas" thread too. Are you purposefully ignoring what I say or are you so biased you honestly can't read things that are outside your box of crippling limitations on humanity's morals sans your god?

[robvalue]

I will again choose the affection

[AkiraTheViking]

Wait does masturbation count as meaningless sex?

[Catholic_Lady]

deleted. wrong thread.

[Neo-Scholastic]

Do you think you're strong enough to endure it right now, sans magical gods extra strength powers?

In the words of Saint Paul, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So to answer your question directly, no. No I do not have the power by myself. Any good that I do is by His Grace.

Why do my responses rile you so much?

[rado84]

A spin off from Rob's poll which I found very interesting but not quite specific enough. 

Poll Question: If you could only choose to keep one, which would it be? Meaningless, affectionless sex with a person/persons you don't care about, or non sexual, genuine affection (kissing, hugs, cuddling, etc) with someone you love and who loves you? 

If you had asked me that question 10 years ago, I'd choose the second option. But nowadays, thanks to your gender, I choose the first one without hesitation.

[Mystical]

Interesting, i think you actually got a legitimate poll of peoples true opinions! Not counting the other category, it looks like meaningful non sexual relations taie precident.

Take that, someone! *punches air

Good poll C_L

---

A spin off from Rob's poll which I found very interesting but not quite specific enough. 

Poll Question: If you could only choose to keep one, which would it be? Meaningless, affectionless sex with a person/persons you don't care about, or non sexual, genuine affection (kissing, hugs, cuddling, etc) with someone you love and who loves you? 

If you had asked me that question 10 years ago, I'd choose the second option. But nowadays, thanks to your gender, I choose the first one without hesitation.

Hey thats not fair to blanket categorize an enture gender without having tried alternatives as well! Also why did I upvote your post? Oh yeah. I have friends who have been female. To be fair though the friends who were male weren't much better to their partners, either. I just think ever u one fucks everyone else up on purpose or not, it just happens. I can only hope to be as jaded and faded as you once i reach your sex sign-age.