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There is still time to covert to Christianity before Christmas!
#1
There is still time to covert to Christianity before Christmas!
DURHAM, NC—Noting that adopting the religious belief system would allow individuals to fully enjoy the holiday season in all of its glory, a report released Tuesday by the Duke Divinity School revealed that there is still time to convert to Christianity before the start of Christmas. “Whether you’re a member of another faith, atheist, or agnostic, there’s ample time in the week leading up to Christmas to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior,” the report read in part, adding that just by stopping at a nearby church and consulting with a pastor in the next four days, a person could make the yuletide gay with the comforting knowledge that God sacrificed his only son to die on the cross and be reborn for their sins. “Indeed, it takes but a second to allow Christ into your heart. And the relief that you’ll feel as you set up a nativity scene, hang mistletoe, rush out for last-minute gifts, and decorate your Christmas tree with fellow Christians will last forever.” The report also noted that for those who ignored these findings, there still remains all of eternity for them to burn in Hell.

http://www.theonion.com/article/report-t...hris-54943

Looks like I'm gonna I'm gonna burn in hell for all of eternity Tongue
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#2
RE: There is still time to covert to Christianity before Christmas!
(December 21, 2016 at 7:23 am)Loading Please Wait Wrote: DURHAM, NC—Noting that adopting the religious belief system would allow individuals to fully enjoy the holiday season in all of its glory, a report released Tuesday by the Duke Divinity School revealed that there is still time to convert to Christianity before the start of Christmas. “Whether you’re a member of another faith, atheist, or agnostic, there’s ample time in the week leading up to Christmas to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior,” the report read in part, adding that just by stopping at a nearby church and consulting with a pastor in the next four days, a person could make the yuletide gay with the comforting knowledge that God sacrificed his only son to die on the cross and be reborn for their sins. “Indeed, it takes but a second to allow Christ into your heart. And the relief that you’ll feel as you set up a nativity scene, hang mistletoe, rush out for last-minute gifts, and decorate your Christmas tree with fellow Christians will last forever.” The report also noted that for those who ignored these findings, there still remains all of eternity for them to burn in Hell.

http://www.theonion.com/article/report-there-still-time-convert-christianity-chris-54943

Looks like I'm gonna I'm gonna burn in hell for all of eternity Tongue

my bold*
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#3
RE: There is still time to covert to Christianity before Christmas!
What's the point? Just do it right before you die. That still counts, right? Tongue

Scamming Jesus is fun.
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#4
RE: There is still time to covert to Christianity before Christmas!
(December 21, 2016 at 7:31 am)robvalue Wrote: What's the point? Just do it right before you die. That still counts, right? Tongue

Scamming Jesus is fun.

Yes. Don't forgt you may wish to become a mass murderer so best wait to be saved until after that phase in your life. Oh wait, nevermimd, you can be go back to doubt horrible stuff afterwards as long as you remember to ask for forgiveness each time.
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#5
RE: There is still time to covert to Christianity before Christmas!
(December 21, 2016 at 9:45 am)Elskidor Wrote:
(December 21, 2016 at 7:31 am)robvalue Wrote: What's the point? Just do it right before you die. That still counts, right? Tongue

Scamming Jesus is fun.

Yes. Don't forgt you may wish to become a mass murderer so best wait to be saved until after that phase in your life. Oh wait, nevermimd, you can be go back to doubt horrible stuff afterwards as long as you remember to ask for forgiveness each time.

Just don't get hit by a bus on the way to the confessional.
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#6
RE: There is still time to covert to Christianity before Christmas!
There's also time to shit on a crucifix, too.  There is always time.
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#7
RE: There is still time to covert to Christianity before Christmas!
Lol lmfao.
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#8
RE: There is still time to covert to Christianity before Christmas!
Suck it jesus!
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem




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#9
RE: There is still time to covert to Christianity before Christmas!
(December 23, 2016 at 3:28 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: Suck it jesus!

It's classy comments like this and the two above it that really make me want to become an atheist.
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#10
RE: There is still time to covert to Christianity before Christmas!
As if desire had anything to do with it.
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