Adoption of mentally impaired babies

[TheRealJoeFish]

I can't say for certain it's wrong.  I also don't feel comfortable saying it's right - the moral aspects are complicated and extremely highly ridiculously context-dependent.

Personally I don't think the scenario I listed above is immoral. I think if they were to drop their kid off at some orphanage/institution, then yes. That I think is wrong. But if the couple finds a good and loving family who wants to care for such child, then I don't think it's wrong. Much the opposite, actually. It's a big sacrifice to be pregnant when you don't have a baby to look forward to, and I would really admire a couple who make that sacrifice for the sake of giving their child the best life possible. 

It's easy to say "well, if you can support the baby financially then you should just keep him/her..." but I think it's important to keep in mind that a person's emotional/mental capability is just as much a factor.

I tend to agree with this.

[c172]

dp. Having trouble editing.

[Catholic_Lady]

Personally I don't think the scenario I listed above is immoral. I think if they were to drop their kid off at some orphanage/institution, then yes. That I think is wrong. But if the couple finds a good and loving family who wants to care for such child, then I don't think it's wrong. Much the opposite, actually. It's a big sacrifice to be pregnant when you don't have a baby to look forward to, and I would really admire a couple who make that sacrifice for the sake of giving their child the best life possible. 

It's easy to say "well, if you can support the baby financially then you should just keep him/her..." but I think it's important to keep in mind that a person's emotional/mental capability is just as much a factor.

Ah, I have to apologize here then.

I misread your OP and thought that the situation was one of handing the baby off for adoption and that the adoption agency would hopefully find the loving family.

If the situation is that such a loving family is found by the parents, then I wouldn't have a problem with that.

Ok, that makes more sense then lol. Yeah, definitely giving the baby to a family, chosen and established before the birth.

[Whateverist]

How do you guys feel about a couple who, upon learning their unborn baby had a mental impairment such as Down Syndrome (or other), decide to look for a good family to adopt their baby? Apparently there are people out there who feel a calling and have a passion for special needs children, and who specifically look for these types of babies to adopt. 

Let me also say that this pregnant couple has the financial means and plenty of support to take care of a mentally impaired child. But the reason they want to put their child up for adoption is because they feel like emotionally/mentally they just wouldn't be able to handle the grief and heartache that would come from seeing their child struggle through life.   

So, do you think it's wrong for the pregnant couple to choose to put their baby up for adoption in this case? Would you judge them? How do you feel about this type of decision?

(bolded to emphasize this would be about finding a loving adopted family prior to the birth, NOT leaving the child in an orphanage)

I know that I would not want to raise a child with severe mental impairment.  But then I have no desire to raise any child.  If I had wanted to have a child and found out in vitro about the impairment early enough my choice would be to abort.  If someone else chose to carry to term and then hand the baby off to adoptive parents, fine with me.

Edited to add, given your most recent comments, I would be more than fine with it.  If they recognized that they weren't personally equipped to deal with it I suppose they should be applauded for seeing to that the child would be cared for by those who did .. well, assuming they didn't have the guts to just murder it in the womb.  

[brewer]

Judge, yes. Harshly/negatively, no. 

People put "normal" babies up for adoption all of the time. Why should a special needs baby adoption be seen in any different light?

If they thought they couldn't love it as much, care for it, and/or feared their potential neglect, why would this not be the right choice?

[Edwardo Piet]

Let me also say that this pregnant couple has the financial means and plenty of support to take care of a mentally impaired child. But the reason they want to put their child up for adoption is because they feel like emotionally/mentally they just wouldn't be able to handle the grief and heartache that would come from seeing their child struggle through life.   

In this case I'd say it's a very morally good thing to put them up for adoption provided that the adopted parents are emotionally and mentally able to handle the child.

Just whatever is better for the child, really. If the natural birth parents can't handle their child then they shouldn't be raising them.

[Catholic_Lady]

People put "normal" babies up for adoption all of the time. Why should a special needs baby adoption be seen in any different light?

Well because someone could make the argument of "Oh, so you would have kept this baby if he/she was healthy, but since there is a problem you don't want him anymore??" 

An understandable argument. But one that doesn't take into account the emotional/mental difficulties that come with caring for a child who has a serious life long illness. Some people are strong enough to handle these difficulties with grace. Others would have an incredibly hard time.

[brewer]

People put "normal" babies up for adoption all of the time. Why should a special needs baby adoption be seen in any different light?

Well because someone could make the argument of "Oh, so you would have kept this baby if he/she was healthy, but since there is a problem you don't want him anymore??" 

An understandable argument. But one that doesn't take into account the emotional/mental difficulties that come with caring for a child who has a serious life long illness. Some people are strong enough to handle these difficulties with grace. Others would have an incredibly hard time.

There can be issues other than health that can cause mental/emotional difficulties that could prompt an adoption/abortion. Age of the parents, sex of the child, mixed race/culture, religion, ......... Gonna make the "should have kept this baby" argument in these other potential scenarios? For some people probably. But then, they are not in the parents shoes.

[ukatheist]

I hope you don't mind me asking, but knowing your heartache in the past year, has someone said this to you? If so, I'm really sorry that you had to listen to that. Sending hugs....

Sent from my ALE-L21 using Tapatalk

[Catholic_Lady]

I hope you don't mind me asking, but knowing your heartache in the past year, has someone said this to you? If so, I'm really sorry that you had to listen to that. Sending hugs....

Sent from my ALE-L21 using Tapatalk

Said what to me? 

Thanks for the hugs.