Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 25, 2024, 4:33 am

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Satan Stole My Waffle
#11
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
(January 17, 2017 at 11:01 am)Faith No More Wrote: Did they seriously tell you that if something is missing, a demon took it?
Seriously. Once you get people to believe the bible you will never run out of fools. I believed that shit too, but I asked too many questions, and now here I am.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Reply
#12
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
Catholics tend to beg St. Anthony to help them find lost articles, perhaps they need to be consulting with Satan instead ?
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




Reply
#13
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
(January 17, 2017 at 10:30 am)Vic Wrote: Rhonda,

First off let me congratulate you on your expert breakfast item choice; secondly, I shall speak with the no good poopyhead at once and see if I can retrieve your legal property in one piece. But I can't promise not to eat it in the process. Happy waffling!

[REDACTED] Neimenovic, CEO of Waffles&co

Thanks, Vic. It's good to have friends in high places. Unfortunately when I found it in the sink it was broken up and soggy. Can you find the responsible parties and give them some kind of demerit?
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Reply
#14
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
(January 17, 2017 at 10:30 am)Vic Wrote: Rhonda,

First off let me congratulate you on your expert breakfast item choice; secondly, I shall speak with the no good poopyhead at once and see if I can retrieve your legal property in one piece. But I can't promise not to eat it in the process. Happy waffling!

[REDACTED] Neimenovic, CEO of Waffles&co

Pssshaaw Waffles&Co are just cheap knock-offs of Waffles, Waffles, Waffles, LLC.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great

PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
Reply
#15
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
(January 17, 2017 at 11:30 am)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: At least the bastard had  to eat it dry.
Yeah, I ate the remaining 3 with butter and blueberries. Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got love in my tummy.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Reply
#16
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
Satan's involvement in breakfast is well established. I encountered the truth when someone handed me my first plate of fried chicken and waffles -- a combination both tempting and somehow entirely wrong. I gave in and ate it but immediately regretted my weakness and have foresworn the diabolical dish ever since.

Fried chicken? Any time. Waffles? Damn right, stack a couple more on there. But together? Get behind me . . . .

However, judging by the Sunday brunch buffets I've been to in Baton Rouge, there are a lot of Baptists who are willing to play Russian Roulette with their souls.
Reply
#17
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
(January 17, 2017 at 1:10 pm)Crossless1 Wrote: Satan's involvement in breakfast is well established. I encountered the truth when someone handed me my first plate of fried chicken and waffles -- a combination both tempting and somehow entirely wrong. I gave in and ate it but immediately regretted my weakness and have foresworn the diabolical dish ever since.

Fried chicken? Any time. Waffles? Damn right, stack a couple more on there. But together? Get behind me . . . .

However, judging by the Sunday brunch buffets I've been to in Baton Rouge, there are a lot of Baptists who are willing to play Russian Roulette with their souls.
Fried chicken and waffles? An exquisite gustatory excursion. I have whole wheat waffles and some rotisserie chicken. That might work.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Reply
#18
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
(January 17, 2017 at 1:44 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote:
(January 17, 2017 at 1:10 pm)Crossless1 Wrote: Satan's involvement in breakfast is well established. I encountered the truth when someone handed me my first plate of fried chicken and waffles -- a combination both tempting and somehow entirely wrong. I gave in and ate it but immediately regretted my weakness and have foresworn the diabolical dish ever since.

Fried chicken? Any time. Waffles? Damn right, stack a couple more on there. But together? Get behind me . . . .

However, judging by the Sunday brunch buffets I've been to in Baton Rouge, there are a lot of Baptists who are willing to play Russian Roulette with their souls.
Fried chicken and waffles? An exquisite gustatory excursion. I have whole wheat waffles and some rotisserie chicken. That might work.

Rotisserie might make a difference, but I'll need to check with a clergyman or maybe some New Orleans Voodoo queen to be sure.
Reply
#19
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
Chicken and waffles is as good as shrimp and grits.

You're mistaken, Crossless.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great

PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
Reply
#20
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
(January 17, 2017 at 1:58 pm)SteelCurtain Wrote: Chicken and waffles is as good as shrimp and grits.

You're mistaken, Crossless.

Perhaps. I grew up in North Dakota and chicken/waffles still seems strangely exotic in a Southern sort of way. I think I could get behind shrimp and grits though.
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  US National Alert System, aka Satan's Whistle. Gawdzilla Sama 10 1099 October 5, 2023 at 1:07 am
Last Post: The Valkyrie
  Why satan became rebel? purplepurpose 15 2308 December 20, 2020 at 1:27 pm
Last Post: AniKoferBo
  Will You Tale Part in the Holiday Spirit or Will You be the Grinch Who Stole Xmas? Rhondazvous 12 2557 December 4, 2015 at 3:01 pm
Last Post: Divinity
  Waffle dyresand 26 4386 July 30, 2015 at 12:59 pm
Last Post: robvalue
  Do you think George Carlin enjoys being ass raped by Satan as he burns in Hell? TeaPartyTeen 19 3484 January 3, 2015 at 3:00 am
Last Post: Marsellus Wallace
  Satan Claws ManMachine 1 793 December 18, 2014 at 5:26 am
Last Post: Alex K
Shocked GOP Candidate Warns:Yoga Leads to Satan,God Created the Tea Party,...etc Pretzel Logic 15 5383 October 30, 2013 at 6:09 pm
Last Post: Doubting Thomas
  Waffle House or iHop wolf39us 19 6440 July 6, 2013 at 1:17 pm
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Satan Makes Everything Sexier thesummerqueen 37 6737 November 14, 2011 at 7:21 am
Last Post: Zen Badger
  [split] Santa is Satan fr0d0 13 11234 December 21, 2009 at 6:36 am
Last Post: leo-rcc



Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)