Alex Jones Apologizes For Pizzzagate

[Faith No More]

It's not terribly different from the phenomenon of religious sectarianism: "Dude, my imaginary conspiracy is more real than your imaginary conspiracy."

Never mind the turtles, it's No True Scotsmen all the way down.

It's actually better than that. It's more like, "You're part of my imaginary conspiracy." "Uh, no, you're part of my imaginary conspiracy."

[Secular Elf]

On the bright side, he always has another career option.

You know, if I were still a Christian, I would have to say the fucking idiot is demon possessed. But since I am an atheist and Secular Humanist now, I would have to just stick with he is a fucking idiot and let it go at that.

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I'll translate for anyone that doesn't speak delusional shithead.  "I've come to realize that Mr. Alefantis rightfully has a fat lawsuit he could lay on me, and I'm trying to get ahead of it."  

So, there we have it.  That's the way to get a macho asshole like AJ to eat crow.  Threaten his pocket book.

Of course, this leaves the true believers with few options.  Perhaps they will have to admit that Alex Jones is nothing but a shyster peddling bullshit for profit.  The more likely scenario that I see is that they will have to believe  that the Illuminati/NWO/Clintons got to him, too.  They'll probably split into factions that either believe he is now one of "them," or "they" have something so powerful over his head that he has no choice to play ball, like maybe "they" kidnapped his family or something.

Really, the bolded is the only way for the tinfoil hatters to escape with their delusional worldview intact.

Regardless, it's always fun watching pompous assholes having to get down on their knees and pretend they have some integrity.

It only took what, 3+ months to issue the apology after "distancing" himself from the story back in December.   I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest the apology lacks...sincerity.  I have to agree that it's nice to see a jackass like AJ paint himself into a corner.

I would have to agree that this "apology" is not sincere. the "“We apologize to the extent our commentaries could be construed as negative statements..." part is what gave it away. This is no apology at all.

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If there is one thing that gets under my skin it's knuckle dragging mouth breathing lying assholes like Alex Jones.

He uses lies to spread fear and anger all so that he can sell his shitty survivalist products. 

Just as bad though, are the millions of fools who follow him. I know that this should not surprise me in the least as people fall for religion which makes even dumber claims that Jones makes but nonetheless I find it depressing that people can be that stupid in such large numbers.

Indeed. There are too many people not using their brains. They should not really be allowed to breathe, I mean, breed. Evolution used to take care of the stupid gene, but unfortunately, as great as modern medicine is (if you can pay for it), survivability of idiots and stupid people is quite high. Humanity is paying a price for that.

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Fuck him. If he got pushed out of an airplane flying over the Himalayas at 37,000 feet, I'd take another swig of mineral water and move on to the next news item.

Fuck him.

  He won't fall far enough that way. I say stake him out on an anthill of those fine specimens you have down there in Texas, and cover him with honey.

The sadistic side of me finds that a greatly appealing idea. I like it.

[CapnAwesome]

He should apologize for every stupid thing that's come out of his mouth in the last decade, apologize for his stupid face and then commit hari kari.

[Jackalope]

He should apologize for every stupid thing that's come out of his mouth in the last decade, apologize for his stupid face and then commit hari kari.

I'd settle for one of the three, as long as I get to pick.

[Brian37]

Do you know what the best thing is? That apologetic non-apology does nothing to help Jones with any pending lawsuit. In fact, I'd say it could quite easily be used against him in court, in order to show that Pizzagate was a malicious falsehood from the start.

I don't know if his lawyers told him to apologize to mitigate a potential court loss, or he was too stupid to listen to his lawyers and keep his mouth shut. It is very rare in court cases for a defense lawyer to tell their client to take the stand, but this will most likely be a civil suit and you are under deposition and cant escape being questioned at trial. But even in a civil case, most lawyers will tell you not to comment in public about any possible litigation. I don't know why he did this, but it will make it harder for him to be exonerated by a civil jury or have the case thrown out by a judge. It is an admission to being party to the original story by giving it a platform. If I were called in a civil case to be a juror in this instance I would have to ask the judge to recuse me and not have the lawyers pick me because I simply hate that fucker and there is no way I could be objective.

[Amarok]

To little to late