Alex Jones Apologizes For Pizzzagate

[Faith No More]

Mr. Jones made the apology to the owner of Comet Ping Pong, James Alefantis, on video, reading from a carefully worded statement that emphasized how widely the theory had spread before he weighed in on it. He said that Infowars had “disassociated” itself from the story in December and had taken down the majority of broadcasts and videos that mentioned it. Mr. Jones also said that two reporters the show had worked with “are no longer with us,” although he did not identify them or discuss the exact nature of their work with Infowars.

“To my knowledge today, neither Mr. Alefantis, nor his restaurant Comet Ping Pong, were involved in any human trafficking, as was part of the theories about Pizzagate that were being written about in many media outlets and which we commented upon,” Mr. Jones said. “We apologize to the extent our commentaries could be construed as negative statements about Mr. Alefantis or Comet Ping Pong, and we hope that anyone else involved in commenting on Pizzagate will do the same thing.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/25/busin...-pong.html

I'll translate for anyone that doesn't speak delusional shithead.  "I've come to realize that Mr. Alefantis rightfully has a fat lawsuit he could lay on me, and I'm trying to get ahead of it."  

So, there we have it.  That's the way to get a macho asshole like AJ to eat crow.  Threaten his pocket book.

Of course, this leaves the true believers with few options.  Perhaps they will have to admit that Alex Jones is nothing but a shyster peddling bullshit for profit.  The more likely scenario that I see is that they will have to believe  that the Illuminati/NWO/Clintons got to him, too.  They'll probably split into factions that either believe he is now one of "them," or "they" have something so powerful over his head that he has no choice to play ball, like maybe "they" kidnapped his family or something.

Regardless, it's always fun watching pompous assholes having to get down on their knees and pretend they have some integrity.

[SuperSentient]

This is a potential consequence of being a conspiracy theorist.

[Isis]

On the bright side, he always has another career option.

[Jackalope]

I'll translate for anyone that doesn't speak delusional shithead.  "I've come to realize that Mr. Alefantis rightfully has a fat lawsuit he could lay on me, and I'm trying to get ahead of it."  

So, there we have it.  That's the way to get a macho asshole like AJ to eat crow.  Threaten his pocket book.

Of course, this leaves the true believers with few options.  Perhaps they will have to admit that Alex Jones is nothing but a shyster peddling bullshit for profit.  The more likely scenario that I see is that they will have to believe  that the Illuminati/NWO/Clintons got to him, too.  They'll probably split into factions that either believe he is now one of "them," or "they" have something so powerful over his head that he has no choice to play ball, like maybe "they" kidnapped his family or something.

Really, the bolded is the only way for the tinfoil hatters to escape with their delusional worldview intact.

Regardless, it's always fun watching pompous assholes having to get down on their knees and pretend they have some integrity.

It only took what, 3+ months to issue the apology after "distancing" himself from the story back in December. I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest the apology lacks...sincerity. I have to agree that it's nice to see a jackass like AJ paint himself into a corner.

[brewer]

Ah, that's why I don't know who the fuck he is.

[vorlon13]

Alex Jones has clearly been assimilated by the Bilderbergers.

[Crunchy]

If there is one thing that gets under my skin it's knuckle dragging mouth breathing lying assholes like Alex Jones.

He uses lies to spread fear and anger all so that he can sell his shitty survivalist products. 

Just as bad though, are the millions of fools who follow him. I know that this should not surprise me in the least as people fall for religion which makes even dumber claims that Jones makes but nonetheless I find it depressing that people can be that stupid in such large numbers.

[Gearbreak]

Yeah Alex Jones is a bit much. Can't stand conspiracy theorists on either side.

[Faith No More]

It only took what, 3+ months to issue the apology after "distancing" himself from the story back in December.   I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest the apology lacks...sincerity.  I have to agree that it's nice to see a jackass like AJ paint himself into a corner.

Oh, it's sincere alright...as in he sincerely wants to keep all that dough he fleeced out of morons by selling them enhancement pills and doomsday supplies.

You know, though, that deep down inside he's thinking as he apologizes, "Ugh, I could totally take this guy in a fight. I'd rip off my shirt, show off my beautiful physique and take him down like the macho manly-man that I totally am. I'm such a badass..." He's the Axl Rose of pundits.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Fuck him. If he got pushed out of an airplane flying over the Himalayas at 37,000 feet, I'd take another swig of mineral water and move on to the next news item.

Fuck him.