Ask a former IV heroin addict

[Isis]

Do you like tea?

[brewer]

Do you like tea?

Only if it's the middle initial of STP and the last initial of DMT. hehehehe

[AceBoogie]

Can you describe how it feels to use PCP?

PCP, at low doses, feels sort of like being drunk. You definitely do sometimes feel "wet" all over your body which is weird, and I'm sure why PCP has earned that slang name. It's not quite the same as being drunk but that's probably the best way I could explain it. You feel sort of dizzy and disoriented and kind of feel like you are outside of yourself. At higher doses it gets super disorienting and you can have intense audio and visual hallucinations. At one point on a really strong PCP trip I felt like I was glued to my buddy's table as Notre Dame fighting Irish-esque symbols drifted across the stained wood in an infinite loop.

Can you describe how it feels to use heroin?

Injecting heroin is like having a warm blanket of pleasure washing over you that is akin to something like a full body orgasm. When you start nodding out it's sort of like falling asleep... but if you do just the right amount you sort of stay half awake as your nodding out and sometimes you'll have crazy dreams during the nod. Interestingly enough this magic nod is what pretty much all opiate users start chasing once they experience it. But in general you feel super calm... have absolutely no anxiety or fear about anything... you definitely get warm and itchy. So warm in fact I can remember pumping gas into my car in the middle of winter in just a t shirt.

Did you go through horrible withdrawl symptoms?

Yea, opiate withdrawal is fucking terrible.

Were you afraid of HIV?

I was never afraid of HIV because I almost never shared needles. I did share needles two times and even though I cleaned both syringes (one with alcohol and hot water and one with bleach and hot water) I found out later that neither of those methods are effective in killing any type of hepatitis or HIV. Luckily I'm disease free.

Have you ever seen trainspotting?

Yea, really good movie actually

Did you not feel like you were crossing a boundry by injecting drugs into your viens?  It seens like a huge step up from snorting, smoking or ingesting.

I guess at that point I was so deep into my addiction that I convinced myself that it was just another form of "experimentation," so no, I didn't feel like I was making some huge leap. Looking back I realize that injecting any drug is as about as hardcore as it gets and that at that time I probably would've convinced myself of anything in pursuit of a bigger, better high.

Did you ever commit crime to fund your habit?

I did return some stolen items for someone once, though I never actually stole anything from stores. I did steal from family quite a bit, which I'm a bit ashamed of, but it's true.

But mostly I basically had my own money or would ask family/friends for money. I did run off on dopeboys plenty of times.... in other words tell the guy I had 100 bucks and hand him a bundle of ones with a twenty wrapped around it and drive off real fast after doing the hand off.

Do you like tea?

Sure. I enjoy hot and iced tea more than coffee, most days. Hot black tea or green tea plain is awesome. Iced tea I usually enjoy sweetened.

[paulpablo]

Did you have to go to high crime rate areas to pick up the drugs, or are you from an area with a high crime rate yourself?

What was the race and nationality of the drug dealers you bought from usually?  In the part of the UK I'm from it's Pakistani drug dealers who control the area but it varies, there's other areas with more white British and black British gangs involved.

Have you ever tried to give up smoking cigs and how does that compare to giving up heroin?  I've given up smoking cigs and it was quite difficult for me, I also had a developing addiction to pain killers which I thought was similar.

What's your age and where are you originally from?

Is there any history of addiction in your family and have you replaced your previous addictions with any others? Such as sex, or exercise.

What was your sex life like through your heroin addiction?

What's your financial situation like now you don't have to spend money on heroin?  Do you plan to pay back the family members you stole from?

[AceBoogie]

Did you have to go to high crime rate areas to pick up the drugs, or are you from an area with a high crime rate yourself?

I'm originally from a pretty tough Italian neighborhood that is now predominantly black. But during my addiction I was living in the suburbs and would usually travel to the inner city to pick up, so yea, pretty much always had to go to an area with high crime rates.

What was the race and nationality of the drug dealers you bought from usually?  In the part of the UK I'm from it's Pakistani drug dealers who control the area but it varies, there's other areas with more white British and black British gangs involved.

Pretty much all black males. Though the best dope I ever bought was off a middle aged white guy who basically lived a double life. Outside of his life with his wife and kids he was a mid-to-high level heroin dealer who only sold to me because he knew me well. There are plenty of white drug dealers out there but you tend to find they are rarer, at least in my area of the US.

Have you ever tried to give up smoking cigs and how does that compare to giving up heroin?  I've given up smoking cigs and it was quite difficult for me, I also had a developing addiction to pain killers which I thought was similar.

Never got the appeal to cigs. I smoke cigars from time to time but not nearly often enough to consider it to be any form of addiction. I smoked cigarettes from time to time after shooting up because it did enhance the high a bit but never enough to get hooked I suppose.

What's your age and where are you originally from?

Just turned 24 and I'm from Ohio.

Is there any history of addiction in your family and have you replaced your previous addictions with any others? Such as sex, or exercise.

Yes there's plenty of history of addiction in my family. No I don't feel I've replaced one addiction with another. Now I simply fill my time with things I enjoy and things that better me as a person.

What was your sex life like through your heroin addiction?

It slowly dwindled to non-existent eventually. When you have heroin you stop caring about sex after a while.

What's your financial situation like now you don't have to spend money on heroin?  Do you plan to pay back the family members you stole from?

Now I'm doing great financially. I have more money in my savings account than what most people would probably make in a year. I've offered to pay back members of my family that I stole from but only my brother accepted the offer. My family is a bit dysfunctional and I believe some of them like the idea that I will forever "owe them" in a sense. Though to be quite honest I don't feel like I owe anyone anything. I've apologized profusely over the years for all that I've done... and I truly meant all that I said in those apologies, so I've sort of let that guilt go. I am still a bit ashamed that I did what I did... but I don't feel guilty if that makes sense. It's just sort of embarrassing to admit that at one point I was so weak that I stooped to stealing money out of my grandma's purse.

My life has never been better than it is right now and I have reason to believe things will only go up from here. I haven't done heroin in I think like 3 years now. It's amazing what you can accomplish in three years if you really buckle down and set goals for yourself.

But my heroin addiction didn't really last for long so you can argue that I didn't put my family through a whole lot... unlike my mom who has been relapsing on and off for the past maybe 20 years or so and has put my grandparents through hell and back multiple times... sort of makes me look like a good kid, sadly.

All in all, the scariest times in my life were when I was 18. I was completely sober for a while there and doing jobs with a crew of guys that were legitimately dangerous people. Looking back I was a kid and had no clue what the fuck I was getting myself into. Those were times I'm truly lucky to have survived. Compared to some other stuff I've been through, heroin addiction doesn't seem like that big of a deal, quite honestly.

[paulpablo]

Do you sound anything like Andrew Dice Clay?  This is actually an impression of him and not the original man.

[AceBoogie]

Do you sound anything like Andrew Dice Clay?  This is actually an impression of him and not the original man.

No lol I'm not sure where that accent comes from. Sounds sort of like New Jersey or New York

[Little lunch]

I got no questions.
I just wanted to say good for you, man.
It sounds like your in a good place now. :-)

[LastPoet]

The worse part is getting safe needles. It is a must.

I was always surprisingly good about that. A local grocery store near me always sold needles at their pharmacy department with little to no hassle. I think after a while they had you sign some log saying that you purchased needles but I never gave a fuck.

I rarely ever used the same rig more than a few times and always cleaned the syringes in between each use with alcohol and copious amounts of hot water. Looking back, not sure how much safer that makes it but I certainly one of those people who hung on to the same syringe for weeks on end. 20 packs were like less than three dollars so I never found it to be an issue to just gather up some change and go get a pack of needles.

I always went to a pharmacy to buy them 50 cents a piece. There was also the Gvt needle exchange program, but sometimes it was out of my way. Last hit was in 2002.

Glad to see you mustered the strenght to get out. I so know how hard it is.

I did help others afterwards and the government decriminalized drug use, provided facilities for rehab etc.

Sadly in recent years they cutted back spending on that, given the right wing government and the need that Portugal had to get a bail out. Shitty politicians and all that.

Still, heroin use is at an all time low. Kids these days go alot for the syntetics.

[Brian37]

I hate how stigmatized addicts and those with even just mental illness are treated in this country, most are non violent in any case. They get over charged, over fined and get put into prisons with violent offenders which fucks them up mentally even more. I don't think enough of society understands that people with these problems really most of the time don't want those problems and "just do it" is an over simplification. It is far to easy for many to sweep it under the rug than it is for our society to care for those with these problems.