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Current time: January 27, 2022, 5:00 pm

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So my redneck friend came to visit on Friday.
#1
So my redneck friend came to visit on Friday.
He is from Oklahoma, never seen the ocean, very relaxed and easy going, but not a world traveler. Never seen the ocean until this weekend.

Anywho, while he had seen chopsticks before, we went to a Japanese restaurant yesterday. I pulled out mine out of the paper sleeve, the kind that are stuck together and you have to break apart. He asked "What's this?"


I laughed so hard, not in a bad way. But loved the fact that he isn't a stuck up snob where others would have said, "Oh you have no class". I'd really rather hang out with him than at some 5 star hotel event. 

Yesterday we went  to an alligator zoo, and it had an albino alligator, but also had crocks too and one of them was 30ft long. We got to see also snakes and they had king cobras and flamingos and other tropical birds and a few small monkeys. They did a feeding and the alligators would jump up to the staff and he'd drop the chicken parts in it's mouth, some of them were gigantic. Nothing you'd want to fuck with in real life. But the funniest part for me was I got dive bombed by a mallard in the park. Surrounded by alligators and it turned out I had more to fear from a mere duck. 

We passed the giant turtle exhibit and two of them were........well....um.... lets put it this way.... Q 1970s porn music.

We also went to an aquarium, the type you walk under a tunnel. They had a petting pool on the top level so you could pet the stingray's, it has a very shallow end so that the bigger fish and sharks cant swim up to you. But a baby hammerhead swam up to me it freaked me out.

The other funny thing during the alligator feeding was the staff guy threw a piece of chicken across the creek on to the tiny bank on the other side. It hit a 3 or 4 footer IN THE SIDE OF THE JAW, bounced off it, the gator took a step forward and put stepped on it and had it's claw standing on it. AND SIMPLY STOOD THERE as if it couldn't figure out where the food was. And l made a comment and people laughed when I said, "How the hell did your species survive for millions of years if you cant find the food, I'ts under your foot!".
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#2
RE: So my redneck friend came to visit on Friday.
My cousins won't go to zoos, "They're just there to prove Darwin was right!"
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#3
RE: So my redneck friend came to visit on Friday.
Black Tie Event, By Brian37 (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB and @Brianrrs37 on twitter)

If upscale 
Is what you are looking for
Then don't hang out with
A banjo player

I did just that
And what a treat
Pretentious not
In the least

In a Sushi restaurant
He'll tap on a soy sauce side tray
With chopsticks
As if playing drums

At upscale 
Fibber McGees
In a resort town
In front of me

He used his fingers
On the plate 
To scoop up
The left overs 

The left overs
Of a Quisadia
No fork or spoon
Just his fingers

He would scoff
At a salad fork
He could care less
Of placement of spoon or knife

But if you were
In dire strife 
He would stand out
In your life

If you are looking
For white glove inspection
No dust on your furniture
No lint in your pocket

He cares not of that
But what's in your heart
What matters to him
Is if you are good or not
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#4
RE: So my redneck friend came to visit on Friday.
30 foot croc....I don't think so. :-)
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#5
RE: So my redneck friend came to visit on Friday.
That would be pretty surprising alright. If you could find one I imagine that would be a salty from down under. I think they get nearly that big .. but thirty feet? Hard to imagine except in a cheap scifi flick.

But I'm with you on the baby hammer head. No way would any part of my body be available to that guy. Hammerheads are dangerous sharks and they're just as well equipped to saw a hunk of flesh out of you as a grown up, albeit a smaller hunk.
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#6
RE: So my redneck friend came to visit on Friday.
(June 5, 2017 at 5:36 am)Whateverist Wrote: That would be pretty surprising alright.  If you could find one I imagine that would be a salty from down under.  I think they get nearly that big .. but thirty feet?  Hard to imagine except in a cheap scifi flick.

But I'm with you on the baby hammer head.  No way would any part of my body be available to that guy.  Hammerheads are dangerous sharks and they're just as well equipped to saw a hunk of flesh out of you as a grown up, albeit a smaller hunk.

The crock was fucking huge, maybe staff was "selling" it wasn't a regular zoo. It was a private business but a major beach attraction. All I knew is that is was glad that animal was in an enclosure. Does FUCKING HUGE, mean anything? Does, "Holy fucking shit" mean anything? Does "MOMMY" mean anything?
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#7
RE: So my redneck friend came to visit on Friday.
I'm with you. A big gator or crock is an impressive animal and probably looks like 50 feet. I wouldn't screw around with one no way, no how.
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#8
RE: So my redneck friend came to visit on Friday.
Actually I think it was a bonnet shark not a hammerhead, but the head shape is similar. Anyway it was still a WTF when you expected the sting ray to come up to you and out of nowhere WTF.
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#9
RE: So my redneck friend came to visit on Friday.
30 feet or not, a big croc is nothing to fuck with.
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#10
RE: So my redneck friend came to visit on Friday.
(June 5, 2017 at 12:20 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: 30 feet or not, a big croc is nothing to fuck with.

They had a snake exhibit too. They had Egyptian and Indian and spitting cobras. None of them raised up and poised but still those were some long mother fuckers and again, same thing, nothing you want to fuck with.

What was really funny, was we were sitting at table in the complex. All wood dock style surroundings and paths to get you around the park. Some mallards which were not part of the park of course but figured out it was a potential food source because they sell food there, were hanging out. I started talking cute, baby talk to a few of them hanging out standing on the dock. One of them must have thought I was challenging or it wanted food, and suddenly flew over my head dive bombing me almost knocking my hat off. Oh the irony, surrounded by gators and crocks and snakes and I get assaulted by a mallard.
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