Some advice on how to deal with a "interesting" brother in law

[Seraphina]

I don't think it's wrong that he is worried how his parents are establishing themselves for when they die; after all, is it not the duty of the parents to leave some sort of monetary means for their children after the parents are dead?

No, actually it's not. It's a parent's duty to raise their child to be a productive and self-supporting member of society.

-Teresa

[brewer]

First one question, what did his wife/your sister have to say/do when she heard his thoughts? That may guide your future actions more than anything. 

My take, your parents money and how they spend it is none of his business. These are not "His" parents, they are in laws. With the divorce rate the way it is there is a good chance that he wouldn't be around to see any money anyway. Plus, parents owe nothing to the children. What they choose to give is just that, their choice. They may have to spend a substantial part of, or all of, their wealth prior to their death. Shit happens. 

I'd probably have said to him "It's not your money and you need to keep your opinions to yourself. If you are not able to tell my parents directly what you think they need to do, there may be a way that your opinions can be forwarded on to them."

[NuclearEnergy]

First one question, what did his wife/your sister have to say/do when she heard his thoughts? That may guide your future actions more than anything. 

My take, your parents money and how they spend it is none of his business. These are not "His" parents, they are in laws. With the divorce rate the way it is there is a good chance that he wouldn't be around to see any money anyway. Plus, parents owe nothing to the children. What they choose to give is just that, their choice. They may have to spend a substantial part of, or all of, their wealth prior to their death. Shit happens. 

I'd probably have said to him "It's not your money and you need to keep your opinions to yourself. If you are not able to tell my parents directly what you think they need to do, there may be a way that your opinions can be forwarded on to them."

She just sits there silently like I do, and doesn't really contribute to the conversation. It's sort of a marriage where he is always right and she is just some airhead in his eyes.

And yes! I couldn't agree more. Children aren't entitled to ANYTHING. I don't care who you are. However, most parents do leave behind things for their children. And to me honestly, I really don't care either way. [My parents have told us that they will be leaving things for each of us. But like I have said, it's really nothing that concerns me or that I'm anxious about] Also, that is true about divorce. However, apparently after 7 years it is more likely you are in it for the long run with a marriage. I can't find the study, but if I do I will for sure PM it to you

He is very nosy when it comes to immediate family matters. Not really sure why. He also thinks he knows EVERYTHING that is going on with my family, my Dad's family and my Mothers family. But he really doesn't. 

And that is a pretty good solution. But boy, I wish I could muster up that kind of courage. If I am ever in this situation I'll try to tell him it's none of his fucking business. I will go about it kindly, of course.

However, like I have said previously on here; I just find it incredibly disturbing that he seems to have really thought about this.

[brewer]

She just sits there silently like I do, and doesn't really contribute to the conversation. It's sort of a marriage where he is always right and she is just some airhead in his eyes.

And yes! I couldn't agree more. Children aren't entitled to ANYTHING. I don't care who you are. However, most parents do leave behind things for their children. And to me honestly, I really don't care either way. [My parents have told us that they will be leaving things for each of us. But like I have said, it's really nothing that concerns me or that I'm anxious about] Also, that is true about divorce. However, apparently after 7 years it is more likely you are in it for the long run with a marriage. I can't find the study, but if I do I will for sure PM it to you

He is very nosy when it comes to immediate family matters. Not really sure why. He also thinks he knows EVERYTHING that is going on with my family, my Dad's family and my Mothers family. But he really doesn't. 

And that is a pretty good solution. But boy, I wish I could muster up that kind of courage. If I am ever in this situation I'll try to tell him it's none of his fucking business. I will go about it kindly, of course.

However, like I have said previously on here; I just find it incredibly disturbing that he seems to have really thought about this.

Can't do it in person (I don't fault you for that for many reasons) and have his email/text/twitter, do it in writing. Get him to repeat what was basically said in the car, then make your point.

[NuclearEnergy]

She just sits there silently like I do, and doesn't really contribute to the conversation. It's sort of a marriage where he is always right and she is just some airhead in his eyes.

And yes! I couldn't agree more. Children aren't entitled to ANYTHING. I don't care who you are. However, most parents do leave behind things for their children. And to me honestly, I really don't care either way. [My parents have told us that they will be leaving things for each of us. But like I have said, it's really nothing that concerns me or that I'm anxious about] Also, that is true about divorce. However, apparently after 7 years it is more likely you are in it for the long run with a marriage. I can't find the study, but if I do I will for sure PM it to you

He is very nosy when it comes to immediate family matters. Not really sure why. He also thinks he knows EVERYTHING that is going on with my family, my Dad's family and my Mothers family. But he really doesn't. 

And that is a pretty good solution. But boy, I wish I could muster up that kind of courage. If I am ever in this situation I'll try to tell him it's none of his fucking business. I will go about it kindly, of course.

However, like I have said previously on here; I just find it incredibly disturbing that he seems to have really thought about this.

Can't do it in person (I don't fault you for that for many reasons) and have his email/text/twitter, do it in writing. Get him to repeat what was basically said in the car, then make your point.

That is not a bad idea. However, I do not have much communication with him outside of real life interactions. 

On another note. I really enjoy and respect your posts. I think I'm going to call you Uncle M.h. from now on  

[Fireball]

Yeah, I have an ex-BiL like that. My sister divorced him, and he managed to talk our parents into putting him up for awhile; he bitched to the rest of our family about the living conditions. Really? I don't know what to tell you, other than to bust his chops when he is talking smack about your family. DON'T take this. If your parents don't know, tell them. If you feel you have to get recorded evidence, do it, within the laws of your state. The guy is a dickasaurus and these should be extinct by now.

[Minimalist]

Don't worry about it.  By the time 40 years rolls by the republicunts will have reduced the US of A to the social safety net status of Zimbabwe so your parents will piss everything away on health care, anyway.

Problem solved unless they are in the top 1%.

[The Valkyrie]

Personally, I'd confront the prick about it and tell him to keep his fucking mouth shut.

[brewer]

Can't do it in person (I don't fault you for that for many reasons) and have his email/text/twitter, do it in writing. Get him to repeat what was basically said in the car, then make your point.

That is not a bad idea. However, I do not have much communication with him outside of real life interactions. 

On another note. I really enjoy and respect your posts. I think I'm going to call you Uncle M.h. from now on  

Uncle?? If so, I'd like it to be with this mental image.

[Chad32]

I don't think it's wrong that he is worried how his parents are establishing themselves for when they die; after all, is it not the duty of the parents to leave some sort of monetary means for their children after the parents are dead?

No, actually it's not. It's a parent's duty to raise their child to be a productive and self-supporting member of society.

-Teresa

I agree. If you raise them right, they shouldn't need an inheritance. Giving them something upon your death is a generosity. Not a duty.