Some advice on how to deal with a "interesting" brother in law

[TheBeardedDude]

Well, this last weekend I traveled to my Grandma's funeral. [R.I.P.] I went up with my brother in law, and my two sisters. One obviously being his wife. However, I noticed that all he seemed to really do was rail against my parents and how they do things. Somehow the discussion of my parents will came up. [This probably because that is what my Dad is having to deal with with the passing of his mother, and since his father is already gone] He basically talked shit about my parents complaining how they are just going to give everything to one of my brothers he thinks is "coddled" by my parents. That my be somewhat true, but this brother of mine has some learning disabilities. He also complained about how my parents spend their money and how he feels "they aren't investing their money well". 

I just sat there quietly while he and my sister [Not the one that's married to him] just talked shit and whined about this. I really wanted to simply tell him to just shut the fuck up about this. He is basically looking forward to my parents death because he is anxious as to what he's going to get. Dude, I could really give a shit about what I get when my parents die. Besides that being the point, both my parents have a good 40 years in them.

But if this ever happens again, what should I do about this? He really thinks he knows EVERYTHING. He thought he knew everything that was going on with my Dad's immediate family. When in reality he has zero clue. I usually just let him talk whenever he does his know it all shit, because it's really not worth arguing with him over it. But when it comes to trashing my parents, who I may have my disagreements with, I love dearly that's where I have to draw the line.

Do your parents see through him and his bs? Or are they largely unaware?

I ask because it may not be worth addressing if your parent already know about his bs. If they know, then he won't have much control or influence when it comes to their estate. If they don't know, maybe they should. It also sounds like it might be a good idea to have a conversation with your siblings to express your concerns. He married into the family and really should stay out of affairs that have nothing to actually do with him. People need to mind their own business more often in these situations.


Cheers
TheBeardedDude

[Regina]

Go for the long game.

"Nervously" voice your concerns to your parents. It may outwardly appear that they're dismissing the inferences you're making regarding sister and brother-in-laws intentions, but the seeds of mistrust will be planted. Their eyes and ears will be open.

Play your cards right, poison the well (with close attention to subtlety), and they may very well be left with little or NOTHING.

Tee hee...

I thought that tbh

Really nobody in my family is rich like that, but hypothetically if I had some nobody non-blood relative in my extended family trying this, I'd take it straight to the family member they're talking about and outright suggest they cut them out the will. Just to spite them.

Funerals are messy though. My Dad's culminated in a catty shouting match between my Nan and one aunt on one side and my other aunt on the other. Then they started coming for my Mom on funeral arrangements she'd made that they didn't like, which made her really upset, and after they'd abandoned her to do it all herself in the weeks before. That made me jump in and say some things I kinda half regret/kinda needed to say. I still haven't seen the one aunt in over 2 years since.