Ted Cruz: The Fappening

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Al Franken notes in his most recent book that one of the first things he learned as a newly minted senator was that it is common practice to blame ALL the mistakes of a senator on 'a staffing error'. Just saying.

Boru

[vorlon13]

and who hired the staffers ?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Exactly.

Boru

[vorlon13]

[Minimalist]

“Imagine Ted Cruz is doing this four feet below you in the bottom bunk bed,” Mazin said of Cruz’s porn-watching habits. “Sadly, the fact that Ted Cruz jacks off to mediocre porn spam is the most human thing we can say about him. This is actually his high point.”

I did not need the image of Ted Cruz spanking it burned forever in my brain.

The world can be a cruel place.

[Jackalope]

Al Franken notes in his most recent book that one of the first things he learned as a newly minted senator was that it is common practice to blame ALL the mistakes of a senator on 'a staffing error'.  Just saying.

Buck-passing is a time-honored tradition as well.

[Divinity]

I'm going to be fair to Ted Cruz here.

I doubt it was him.  That guy can't get it up unless he's fucking over poor people.  So unless the porn was Donald Trump announcing tax cuts for the poor, and tax raises for the rich... it probably was a staffer.

[Minimalist]

They should sue.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz...h-ted-cruz

Porn Industry Irrevocably Damaged by Association with Ted Cruz

The pornography industry has likely suffered permanent damage as a result of its unfortunate association with the Texas senator Ted Cruz, industry sources said on Tuesday.

Porn, which takes in annual profits of fifteen billion dollars, could see those revenues decimated if, as some industry experts fear, users begin to have intrusive thoughts involving Senator Cruz.

[vorlon13]

maybe if Ted was to slurp shit directly out of a cow's butt hole and post it ??

[Minimalist]

I'd say that would beat out Weiner.