How to make stress your friend

[Joods]

My stress level is on fire, which is why I need to look for new ways to properly and positively manage that stress. Since I quit smoking three months ago (yes, it's been that long), I have gained over 30 pounds. We've also got full custody of the boys starting October 8th. As usual, once some things die down in my life, other's begin to fire up and there never seems to be a break from anything.

I'd like to know what people's thoughts on meditation are - you know - the non-religious kind of meditation. Does it help reduce stress?

[Astreja]

I've gone through several periods of intense stress that actually did make me ill, but seeing things from a Stoic perspective (focus your energy on things you can control and just note the uncontrollable factors without getting emotionally invested in them) has helped me a lot.

From the video, what I took away is that stress can be bad for you if you see it as bad, but in the right context it can be beneficial. Unfortunately the TED talk didn't really get into any how-to advice. To become more resilient when things are going all to shit, I think one would have to get into the habit of interrupting catastrophic thinking and replacing it with more pragmatic thoughts on how to solve specific problems, then following through with an appropriate action.

[Joods]

That sounds like excellent advice. Now for me to learn how to actually do that. Years of being subjected to negativity has not helped me at all. None of this happened over night so I suppose it will take years to undo all of the damage.

[Astreja]

That sounds like excellent advice. Now for me to learn how to actually do that. Years of being subjected to negativity has not helped me at all. None of this happened over night so I suppose it will take years to undo all of the damage.

A very basic level of mindfulness meditation -- sitting quietly and just taking inventory of the kinds of things you think -- is one place to start.  Once you've identified particular culprits, for instance a tendency to dwell on a certain person, or something that happened last week, or some feeling from the distant past, you can study it in a disinterested way and ask questions like "Why is this important to me?" or "What can I use this for?" or "What's the best way to resolve this and let it go?"

[ignoramus]

Because "stressed" spelt backwards is yum yum!

[The Valkyrie]

Just wear a strap on and make it your bitch!