How do atheists see Jesus' parables?

[drfuzzy]

Here's the one on the Catholic docket for this weekend:

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Matthew 22:1-14
1 Jesus began to speak to them in parables once again,
2 'The kingdom of Heaven may be compared to a king who gave a feast for his son's wedding.
3 He sent his servants to call those who had been invited, but they would not come.
4 Next he sent some more servants with the words, "Tell those who have been invited: Look, my banquet is all prepared, my oxen and fattened cattle have been slaughtered, everything is ready. Come to the wedding."
5 But they were not interested: one went off to his farm, another to his business,
6 and the rest seized his servants, maltreated them and killed them.
7 The king was furious. He despatched his troops, destroyed those murderers and burnt their town.
8 Then he said to his servants, "The wedding is ready; but as those who were invited proved to be unworthy,
9 go to the main crossroads and invite everyone you can find to come to the wedding."
10 So these servants went out onto the roads and collected together everyone they could find, bad and good alike; and the wedding hall was filled with guests.
11 When the king came in to look at the guests he noticed one man who was not wearing a wedding garment,
12 and said to him, "How did you get in here, my friend, without a wedding garment?" And the man was silent.
13 Then the king said to the attendants, "Bind him hand and foot and throw him into the darkness outside, where there will be weeping and grinding of teeth."
14 For many are invited but not all are chosen.'

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I'm not going to try to explain it, or tell you what spin the priest put on it, or tell you how I feel about it.  I'll spare you.      This question is for people who were NEVER Christian.  So if you feel like reading 14 short verses and telling me what you think about the story, I'm just really curious.  I'll share my thoughts later if you want.

[Minimalist]

I hate weddings.  Very depressing.

[Edwardo Piet]

Damn.... please can you explain it? My attention span will never let me get past about line number three when it comes to anything from the Bible.

[Chad32]

Like any stories, you can sometimes learn morals from them. Though some lessons will be outdated or backwards. Like the story of the man who builds his house on sand, and another o rock. You're meant to come away thinking faith is the rock, but the need for revivals shows that faith is not a rock.

That particular story is rather odd. Who kills or abuses people just for being invited to a wedding? And why would you tie someone up before throwing him out the door, instead of just asking him to leave and come back with better clothes? Actually, who prepares a wedding before invitations are even sent?

I assume the wedding represents heaven, but I don't really know what moral we're supposed to take from it.

[vorlon13]

I cannot come.

I cannot come to the banquet,

Don’t trouble me now.

I have married a wife,

I have bought me a cow.

I have fields and commitments

That cost a pretty sum,

Pray, hold me excused,

I cannot come.

Verse 1

A certain man held a feast

On his fine estate in town,

He laid a festive table,

And wore a wedding gown.

He sent invitations

To his neighbors far and wide,

But when the meal was ready,

Each of them replied…..

(REFRAIN)

Verse 2

The master rose up in anger,

Called his servants by name, said:

“Go into the town,

Fetch the blind and the lame,

Fetch the peasant and the pauper

For this I have willed,

My banquet must be crowed,

And my table must be filled.”

REFRAIN

Verse 3

When all the poor had assembled,

There was still room to spare,

So the master demanded:

“Go search ev’rywhere,

To the highways and the byways

And force them to come in,

My table must be filled before the banquet can begin.

REFRAIN

Verse 4

Now God has written a lesson

For the rest of mankind;

If we’re slow in responding,

He may leave us behind

He’s preparing a banquet for that

Great and glorious day,

When the Lord and Master callus,

Be certain not to say….

(REFRAIN)

I cannot come.

I cannot come to the banquet,

Don’t trouble me now.

I have married a wife,

I have bought me a cow.

I have fields and commitments

That cost a pretty sum,

Pray, hold me excused,

I cannot come.

[Edwardo Piet]

I cannot come.

That's what she said.









(My response was: "Whaaaa but I don't wanna do missionary I wanna do doggystyle .".... but then I did what she wanted anyway because I'm a gentleman. And finally, she arrived in the dirty sense).

[Cyberman]

If Jesus had something to say, he should have been clearer and dropped the wise guy act. The son of the almighty creator of everything really ought to know the importance of clarity in public speaking.

[Huggy Bear]

If Jesus had something to say, he should have been clearer and dropped the wise guy act. The son of the almighty creator of everything really ought to know the importance of clarity in public speaking.

Matthew 13
10 And the disciples came, and said unto him, Why speakest thou unto them in parables?
11 He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given.
12 For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.
13 Therefore speak I to them in parables: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand.

[brewer]

The problem is in #9: 9 go to the main crossroads and invite everyone you can find to come to the wedding."

He didn't really mean everyone, he meant only those that will be compliant. 

Come to think of it, that was the problem from the beginning. Only invite those who will be subservient. The rest can get fucked.

[Cyberman]

@Huggy

Set that to music. Record it to CD. Then drop it into a rock crusher. Thanks.