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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name

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The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name
Edwardo Piet Away
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#1
The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name
October 14, 2017 at 11:02 pm (This post was last modified: October 14, 2017 at 11:03 pm by Edwardo Piet.)
God was having sex with a volcano one day with his gigantic penis when he suddenly felt like plowing into Mary (and she remains a virgin after because sex with celestial beings doesn't count)

God gets way ahead of himself and starts asking Mary for advice on what they should call their son at the same time as he penetrates her. God is always getting way ahead of himself like that. He gets confused about when the right time to say things because all that being outside of space and time lark makes him rather tipsy.

"WHAT SHOULD WE CALL OUR SON MARY??!?!" shouts God psychotically as he snorts cocaine and invents the dinosaurs, galaxies and Martians all at once whilst he fiddles between different time periods.

In goes the boner.

"JESUS CHRIST!" shouts Mary.

"I like it" says God.

The end.

Already more clearly written than the whole Bible.

P.S. I love how mature I am.
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Cyberman Away
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#2
RE: The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name
October 14, 2017 at 11:26 pm
"That's always struck me as peculiar."
-"What has?"
"Why did they call that kid 'Jesus Christ'? Might as well have called him 'bloody hell' or something!"

--Smith and Jones, head-to-head
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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Edwardo Piet Away
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#3
RE: The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name
October 15, 2017 at 12:03 am
LOL!!!!
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Patrick33 Offline
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#4
RE: The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name
October 15, 2017 at 1:34 am
Nice.
One for the memory bank...
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ignoramus Offline
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#5
RE: The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name
October 15, 2017 at 5:05 am
Who was Herbet then? God father?
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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Edwardo Piet Away
Devil's Supercardo.
Religious Views: Atheistic panexperientialism
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#6
RE: The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name
October 15, 2017 at 3:40 pm (This post was last modified: October 15, 2017 at 4:38 pm by Edwardo Piet.)
(October 15, 2017 at 5:05 am)ignoramus Wrote: Who was Herbet then?

One of my granddads. Apparently his nickname was "lemon sherbet"
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vorlon13 Offline
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#7
RE: The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name
October 15, 2017 at 3:58 pm (This post was last modified: October 15, 2017 at 3:58 pm by vorlon13.)
Still think God missed an opportunity to form Jesus of the dust of the ground and imbue him with His mighty nostrils His essence of being as Himself and as His son and as His undefined relationship with the Holy Ghost.

Why muck about with a vagina and placenta and cervical mucus and amniotic fluid and Joseph eventually depositing his second rate spooj in a sacred flower pot ?
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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Edwardo Piet Away
Devil's Supercardo.
Religious Views: Atheistic panexperientialism
Posts: 43162
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#8
RE: The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name
October 15, 2017 at 4:39 pm
(October 15, 2017 at 3:58 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: Why muck about with a vagina and placenta and cervical mucus and amniotic fluid and Joseph eventually depositing his second rate spooj in a sacred flower pot ?

I bet God is a really lousy gynaecologist.
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vorlon13 Offline
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#9
RE: The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name
October 15, 2017 at 4:43 pm
like Joseph would have dared to peek in the shrine . . .
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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Brian37 Offline
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#10
RE: The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name
October 15, 2017 at 5:08 pm
You are FAR more mature than the people who wrote it and the gullible people who still buy it.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name

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