What will you do? (Ethical dilemma question)

[Amarok]

Whoops pressed the wrong option . I meant to pick 1 . How do you change it?.

[ignoramus]

Where's option 3?

3) First confide to your mate that you are gay but haven't told anybody.
Then tell him how his girlfriend got all friendly with you...Both have a good laugh and a beer over it!

Everybody happy again.

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

No, that's not better. Your friend is entering into a lifelong mating and financial relationship with a whore. Being a good friend means not letting that happen to a friend, even if it might cause you to lose the friendship.

Yup, I can understand your thinking, I just don't think it's worth it because even though you tell to protect your friends back even he is not going to be on your side, he'll be on the side that will be seeing you with doubt which will be the majority.

No, that's not better. Your friend is entering into a lifelong mating and financial relationship with a whore. Being a good friend means not letting that happen to a friend, even if it might cause you to lose the friendship.

That's pretty admirable, most people would rather maintain the friendship and "sacrifice" the friend, I like your different approach where you're maintaining the friend while sacrificing the friendship even though it will most definitely work against you but I like it.
I don't get why you would keep your mouth shut if it were a marriage though?? Doesn't that kind of raise the stakes..

---

He wouldn't be acting normal when someone walked into the room.

He'd be on the floor, groaning and clutching his nuts.

Then I'd tell my best friend all about it.

Lol! What if it was Hugh Jackman??

[bennyboy]

I don't get why you would keep your mouth shut if it were a marriage though?? Doesn't that kind of raise the stakes..

I'm talking about transgressions made before the marriage. If she's flirting with me right now after he's been married to, I'm gonna rat the bitch out. Or fuck her. Surprised nobody has mentioned the latter option.

[Mystic]

pool the matey, there is a very high probability he won't believe you. If he can't see his GF is this type of person already, you telling him about what happened will only make him think you are jealous and trying to break the best thing in his life.

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

pool the matey, there is a very high probability he won't believe you. If he can't see his GF is this type of person already, you telling him about what happened will only make him think you are jealous and trying to break the best thing in his life.

Yup. My thoughts exactly. Just not worth it. Imo the only two options are you either continue sneaking around with your best friends girl/guy which is just....beyond unethical or just ignore it and make sure it doesn't happen again. This sort of thing has happened to me twice before, the first time I told the guy but she made up a story that it was me who was making moves and I lost a lot of friends and ended up looking like an Idiot, the next time it happened I just shut up about it and made sure I was not left alone with her again but I had to slowly cut friendship with my bud after that because it just didn't feel right...They're still together though..god help him..

[Catholic_Lady]

I would tell. A person deserves to know it if their significant other is a cheater, especially if they are on the verge of getting married and having kids.

I can't imagine anyone thinking it's better not to tell.

---

Well, say you do tell your best friend about it. Now you're going to be the guy that ended a 8 year long relationship.. . That's not a small thing to bear.
Or your friend don't believe you, cmon the guy has been with this chick for 8 years, he's probably going to think something like you're jealous of their relationship or something....and now you're the guy that's jealous of his best friend doing good...

YOU did not end the relationship. The cheater did.

---

Well, say you do tell your best friend about it. Now you're going to be the guy that ended a 8 year long relationship.. . That's not a small thing to bear.
Or your friend don't believe you, cmon the guy has been with this chick for 8 years, he's probably going to think something like you're jealous of their relationship or something....and now you're the guy that's jealous of his best friend doing good...

That's not an ethical dilemma though.
His GF is a sexual predator that is lying to him. It is your obligation to tell him, after perhaps as Losty pointed out, after you file a police report. There is no dilemma.
If he resents you for it when the truth comes out or he doesn't believe you at all, that sucks. But keeping those possibilities in mind doesn't make your choice of option 2 any more ethical. Instead its more selfish, actually. You don't want to upset the natural order and would rather let your friend get cheated on and have a sexual predator go on harrassing others? That's cowardice, not ethics.

Perfectly said.

[Little lunch]

Ring her and talk about what happened.
Record the conversation.
If she says it was a stupid mistake and won't happen again, forget about it.
If she admits she wants to bonk your brains out and tries to set up a rendezvous, give her the option of telling him herself or you'll let him hear the recording.
She may have the second option of just splitting up with him citing irreconcilable differences without him hearing the recording.
It's best not to have him thinking, 'what's he got that I haven't.'

[notimportant1234]

You have a friend. He/She is your best friend. You've been friends for a long long time and you're very dear friends.

This friend of yours have a boyfriend/girlfriend that he/she loves very much. They've been dating for more than 8 years. They are such a lovely couple hoping to get married one day. All they talk about is how many kids they're going to have, their marriage, their future, they're really in love etc.

One day you're left alone with the girlfriend/boyfriend of your best friend for a brief moment and he/she starts touching you, kissing you, feeling you up, like basically sexually assault you and immediately goes back to normal when somebody walked in. 

You're shocked. This person is nothing like you had imagined and you're left with two options:

1) You tell your best friend what happened. 
2) You don't tell your best friend what happened. 

What will you do? Why?

1) You can tell him , it's a big probability that he will argue with her, he forgives her than says fuck off to you.
2)Well , that will be bad for your friend with a 80%  certainity

There is no simple answer to this , there are a lot of factor to take in consideration. Life isn't binary, it depends on the situation.
And if the friend is totaly emotional dependent to her , even if he caught her doing that , it probably won't  matter in the end .

[bennyboy]

I would tell. A person deserves to know it if their significant other is a cheater, especially if they are on the verge of getting married and having kids.

I can't imagine anyone thinking it's better not to tell.

/thread