Phrases and idioms that trigger you.

[Edwardo Piet]

"You wouldn't dare!"

For some reason this reminds me:

Aanother thing that triggers me is . . . partly down to my fault. I'll explain.

I like to do this thing where if someone plays a trick on me and they think I'm super gullible, I pretend to fall for it to show that they're the gullible ones. And then I can be like "Neener neener I never fell for it but you believed I did so you're the gullible one, neener neener." It's childish and silly but it's fun and the practical jokes played on me in the first place are childish and silly too.

The trouble is, my acting works too well, and I can never convince the person that I didn't really fall for it. They strongly convince themselves that I fell for it but won't admit I fell for it and I'm lying. No matter how much I swear that I was playing along and they're the gullible ones. And the fact they genuinely won't believe me and admit THEY'RE the gullible ones TRIGGERS THE FUCKING FUCK OUT OF ME.

. . . I know, I'm weird lol.

I should probably stop doing it. But it's so fun.

My favorite one is on April Fools. Someone will do some really obvious April Fools joke and I'll pretend to be dumb and gullible as fuck and take everything they say literally even though it's obvious as fuck that they're saying something crazy because it's April 1st and I wouldn't even fucking believe it if I knew it wasn't because it's ridiculous. I'm like "Oh, oh wow, REALLY? I didn't know that." and even when I try to be obviously sarcastic they still convince themselves I fell for their joke. And they think I'm lying and being a sore loser when I tell them I didn't fall for it. ADMIT YOU'RE THE DUMB GULLIBLE ONE YOU FUCKING BASTARD HYPOTHETICAL PERSON!

Yeah, it grates one me

[c172]

Pet names, sometimes. At least if I know it's not some lady that calls everybody "sweetie".

[Aegon]

"Does anyone else [insert incredibly common thing]?"

[Edwardo Piet]

"Does anyone else [insert incredibly common thing]?"

Ha, what I hate is phrases that start with "I'm not a racist but [insert racism]". Or "I'm not homophobic but [insert homophobia]".

I mean, they're obviously bothersome because of the bigoted statements at the end. But the "I'm not an X but" prefix makes them extra annoying. There's literally no reason to say shit like that if you're not trying too hard to not seem the way you clearly are. Like, I've never once known a person prefix a statement with "I'm not an X but" without being an X. I can't imagine why the fuck anyone would say they were "not an X but" without being an X even if they did. Like does that even happen?

Let me try to do it. I'm not an alien from outer space but . . . I really like . . . I really can't. I mean Star wars is great.

See I'm lost for words, it doesn't fucking work.

I'm not a fucking bastard but I really like being really horrible on purpose. See that's a joke, I can't seriously state that.

Let me try again.

I'm not an awful person but I can't afford to give to charity.

See, that doesn't work either, I have to add the "can't afford" in because I can't honestly pretend to not care because I do.

How the fuck is anyone supposed to say "I'm not an X but" and make their statement seriously not represent them genuinely being an X? It's really fucking hard.

Hey! Let's play the I'm-Not-An-X-But-[insert-something-that-sounds-genuinely-nothing-like-an-X-and-still-makes-sense-and-seems-honest] game! I don't expect many winners.

[Seraphina]

Bold is mine-
Just reading that phrase made me throw up in my mouth a little lol.
Actually it sounds like something one might hear someone say here in Crazyfornia.

-Teresa

I'm confused. I thought that I saw somewhere here that you were in Buffalo, NY, while you've posted pics from the Bay Area? And now, you're really in California? Not a stalker...

Yes, I was visiting my old stomping grounds in Buffalo last July - I'm from western New York.
I drove across the US in 1999 and I've been in Sacramento ever since ! You're very stalkerish observant!

-Teresa

[Edwardo Piet]

I'm confused. I thought that I saw somewhere here that you were in Buffalo, NY, while you've posted pics from the Bay Area? And now, you're really in California? Not a stalker...

Yes, I was visiting my old stomping grounds in Buffalo last July - I'm from western New York.
I drove across the US in 1999 and I've been in Sacramento ever since ! You're very stalkerish observant!

-Teresa

He sure is. It's like me and how I'm very sexy attractive handsome hot horny dirty kinky pervy creepy disturbed psychopathic smooth talking charming manipulative crafty sly psychopathic again and witty.

[Seraphina]

I figured you'd like that little thread hijack, Hammy

-Teresa

[Edwardo Piet]

I figured you'd like that little thread hijack, Hammy

-Teresa

Well I'm often high (without substances) and I do love to jack so . . . no surprise really.

[Fireball]

I'm confused. I thought that I saw somewhere here that you were in Buffalo, NY, while you've posted pics from the Bay Area? And now, you're really in California? Not a stalker...

Yes, I was visiting my old stomping grounds in Buffalo last July - I'm from western New York.
I drove across the US in 1999 and I've been in Sacramento ever since ! You're very stalkerish observant!

-Teresa

Just observant.   I read most of what is written here, and I have a memory like a steel trap (what it doesn't destroy, it mutilates). Of course, there are some threads I don't even bother with, though they don't trigger me. Generally, LR and neo threads can be completely ignored for lack of content. Sometimes I look in on them for the comic relief, but it's like watching a bad comic fail; kind of embarrassing to see happen.

[Losty]

How about "thanx" ?

Not nearly as bad, but it's the same mindset.

What about grats?