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Current time: March 29, 2024, 1:48 am

Poll: What you do??
This poll is closed.
Screw this lol I'm going to heaven
20.00%
3 20.00%
I'd rather spend time in hell than accept that guy as my "God"
13.33%
2 13.33%
Fuck polls
33.33%
5 33.33%
send nudes
33.33%
5 33.33%
Total 15 vote(s) 100%
* You voted for this item. [Show Results]

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You die one day and you reach the heavenly gates, God says to you, "
#1
You die one day and you reach the heavenly gates, God says to you, "
"On the left side you have hell. It's just like how it's depicted in various works. It's so hot your skin melts, they put you inside large pots of hot oil and fry you for eternity. they will gouge your eyes out, rip your ears out and break your limbs"

"On the right side you have heaven. It's basically a better version of vegas. we have lots and lots of angel hookers, casinos, gaming stations, football fields, booze, lots and lots of booze. It's your reward for being a good lil lad."

"Look. I know you were an atheist. it's understandable, you did something stupid. you thought this was all bullshit but I'll make a deal with you - if you accept me as your God right here and now I'll let you go through the door that leads to heaven otherwise I'm helpless you'll have to spend the rest of eternity with dear old satan"

What will you do? Big Grin
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#2
RE: You die one day and you reach the heavenly gates, God says to you, "
Obviously anyone would take the deal rather than be burned alive for eternity.
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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#3
RE: You die one day and you reach the heavenly gates, God says to you, "
Booze and houris! I am in! 

Casinos, gaming, and football? Must I participate? 

Don't they have a chess club? Library?
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






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#4
RE: You die one day and you reach the heavenly gates, God says to you, "
(June 14, 2017 at 10:18 pm)chimp3 Wrote: Booze and houris! I am in! 

Casinos, gaming, and football? Must I participate? 

Don't they have a chess club? Library?

They do. But it's reserved as hell for those who did drink, gamble, screw around whilst alive... Big Grin
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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#5
RE: You die one day and you reach the heavenly gates, God says to you, "
do I get my own Matthew Fox ??
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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#6
RE: You die one day and you reach the heavenly gates, God says to you, "
(June 14, 2017 at 10:24 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: do I get my own Matthew Fox ??

you get two matthew fox
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#7
RE: You die one day and you reach the heavenly gates, God says to you, "
(June 14, 2017 at 10:22 pm)ignoramus Wrote:
(June 14, 2017 at 10:18 pm)chimp3 Wrote: Booze and houris! I am in! 

Casinos, gaming, and football? Must I participate? 

Don't they have a chess club? Library?

They do. But it's reserved as hell for those who did drink, gamble, screw around whilst alive... Big Grin
Ok! I did gamble with my own life while I was drinking and screwing around. Does that count?
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






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#8
RE: You die one day and you reach the heavenly gates, God says to you, "
Pooley, serious question. (and we all fall into this trap)

Why would you imagine that that is what is considered happy and exciting? Hollywood? Bollywood?

If I'm a boring sod who's never had friends and just played the harp at home all day to my deaf 94 year old mother, why would I not want to continue doing that for eternity in heaven? It's what I know. It's what I like. It bring me inner peace. I'm a private person.

Edited to add:
I wouldn't want the good time babes and parties when I die! So I'm going to do my best to not go to heaven.
I'll therefore start drinking, drugging, screwing, etc because I'm a good person who doesn't want that in heaven!

No Wait!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Reply
#9
RE: You die one day and you reach the heavenly gates, God says to you, "
(June 14, 2017 at 10:26 pm)pool the matey Wrote:
(June 14, 2017 at 10:24 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: do I get my own Matthew Fox ??

you get two matthew fox

how about 3?

I can watch 2 of them fuck while I'm boinking another one
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




Reply
#10
RE: You die one day and you reach the heavenly gates, God says to you, "
"We're gonna have to have a long sit-down about what's going on, and why I should trust you at all."
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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