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Australia
#31
RE: Australia
(December 14, 2017 at 4:37 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:
(December 14, 2017 at 4:35 pm)Succubus Wrote: When I was working in Australia I devised a good rule of thumb regarding the critters; If it moves its probably poisonous, if it doesn’t move its probably poisonous. There's even poisonous birds an Australia for fuck sake!

Ever been growled at by an angry koala?

Is that a euphemism for your skerry scalpel lady lady-parts?
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#32
RE: Australia
(December 14, 2017 at 1:46 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:
(December 13, 2017 at 3:06 am)Haipule Wrote: Aloha Rebecca: are you a cardiologist in NZ? Well, I gots me 7 stents in my LAD and the first one was put there by a female cardiologist. She was absolutely gorgeous but I think she slammed my balls viciously while I was under versed just for fun! It really hurt! My new cardiologist is also female and gorgeous and her smile and look in her eye scares me!

Anyway, you surfing Ragland? Make me jealous!

One of the first lessons taught to female cardiologists is to look scary.  Appear threatening.  And not to get caught (I can't elaborate on the latter).

Male genitalia is used for ping pong while they're under.

A little known fact, don't tell anyone, is that surgeries only last about half the time they seem to.  The rest of the time is used for (CENSORED)
I knew it!
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend "yet".

I discovered a new vitamin that fights cancer. I call it ...B9

I also invented a diet pill. It works great but had to quit taking it because of the side effects. Turns out my penis is larger and my hair grew back. And whoa! If you think my hair is nice!

When does size truly matter? When it's TOO big!

I'm currently working on a new pill I call "Destenze". However...now my shoes don't fit.
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#33
RE: Australia
There is a little island off the coast of Tasmania with a wave called Shipstern Bluff(also known as Devils Point). This wave is a freak show! It is a cyclops! It scares the shit out of me! If they could harness it's energy, It could light up a city!

I would love to shake the hand of the phyco who first stood on that bluff and said, "I'll give it a go mate!"

https://youtu.be/FBnA1V8SZdw
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend "yet".

I discovered a new vitamin that fights cancer. I call it ...B9

I also invented a diet pill. It works great but had to quit taking it because of the side effects. Turns out my penis is larger and my hair grew back. And whoa! If you think my hair is nice!

When does size truly matter? When it's TOO big!

I'm currently working on a new pill I call "Destenze". However...now my shoes don't fit.
Reply
#34
RE: Australia
A documentary years ago shot in the Australian bush used infra red cameras to study the inland taipan (fierce snake). So there's this rat run track thing meandering through the grass and there curled up is this snake. Then along comes a big rat like effort; hop, hop, hop, bite, hop, dead! It wasn't in need of urgent medical attention, it was fucking dead. Neurotoxins. One of those bastards bites you on a little toe your brain shuts down seven pico seconds later. And here was me working on a pipeline going through this bush shit, Fuck Australia! But then again, we did find a few cannabis farms. Happy days Bong
It's amazing 'science' always seems to 'find' whatever it is funded for, and never the oppsite. Drich.
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#35
RE: Australia
(December 15, 2017 at 3:13 am)Succubus Wrote: A documentary years ago shot in the Australian bush used infra red cameras to study the inland taipan (fierce snake). So there's this rat run track thing meandering through the grass and there curled up is this snake. Then along comes a big rat like effort; hop, hop, hop, bite, hop, dead! It wasn't in need of urgent medical attention, it was fucking dead. Neurotoxins. One of those bastards bites you on a little toe your brain shuts down seven pico seconds later. And here was me working on a pipeline going through this bush shit, Fuck Australia! But then again, we did find a few cannabis farms. Happy days Bong
There's another creature there is be reckoned with and that is the Australian Sheila!
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend "yet".

I discovered a new vitamin that fights cancer. I call it ...B9

I also invented a diet pill. It works great but had to quit taking it because of the side effects. Turns out my penis is larger and my hair grew back. And whoa! If you think my hair is nice!

When does size truly matter? When it's TOO big!

I'm currently working on a new pill I call "Destenze". However...now my shoes don't fit.
Reply
#36
RE: Australia
Another thing to be weary about in Australia is the "Australian Baked Dinner". It's soo good but, I think it will kill you but, you won't care!
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend "yet".

I discovered a new vitamin that fights cancer. I call it ...B9

I also invented a diet pill. It works great but had to quit taking it because of the side effects. Turns out my penis is larger and my hair grew back. And whoa! If you think my hair is nice!

When does size truly matter? When it's TOO big!

I'm currently working on a new pill I call "Destenze". However...now my shoes don't fit.
Reply
#37
RE: Australia
(December 16, 2017 at 2:07 am)Haipule Wrote: Another thing to be weary about in Australia is the "Australian Baked Dinner". It's soo good but, I think it will kill you but, you won't care!

What's an Australian Baked Dinner?
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#38
RE: Australia
On Wednesday's the wife bakes my favourite dish!

Baked koala, platypus, kangaroo and emu in a lovely red wine and tomato sauce with rice!

I hate rice though! It's disgusting! It makes me sick just thinking about it!

Big Grin
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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#39
RE: Australia
If the Xians are right and hell exists, it seems to beat Australia. Panic
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
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#40
RE: Australia
(December 14, 2017 at 9:06 pm)c172 Wrote: Awww, geez. So much for a nap.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_brown_snake

One night, in the dark, I stood on a brown snake on the way to the outdoor dunny.
I did a lively jig.
Cut off it's head with a shovel.
Found out why it didn't bite me, had a rat in it's mouth.

Another time my cousin and I came up from swimming in the creek and a baby Taipan tried to attack us.
Killed it, couldn't find the mother and all the car doors in the ute were open.
Fucking scary ride home.
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