Shower Thoughts....

[Joods]

1. "Literally" has become the "totally" from the 80's. 
   
2. I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest. 
   
3. Eat two pieces of toast with butter and it's okay. Put the slices together and tell people you had a butter sandwich, you get a different response. 
   
4. If cats could text you back... they wouldn't. 
   
5. Dancers took 5, 6, 7 & 8 because musicians took 1, 2, 3 & 4.
   
   

   ---

    admit it - you did that in your head.

   ---

   
   
6. The letter "W" starts with a "d".
   
7. Somebody's therapist knows all about you. 
   
8. My fondest childhood memory is thinking that $100 is a lot of money. 
   
9. My faith in humanity is so low that I look both ways before crossing a one-way street. 
   
10. There should be a hat store called "ALL CAPS", where the employees all yell at you. 
    
11. Coke is missing the opportunity by not bringing out a coconut flavored version and calling it Cokeonut.
    
12. My childhood punishments "going to bed early, not leaving the house etc" have become goals as an adult. 
    
13. Lasers were once the greatest scientific breakthrough in history. Now we use them to play with cats. 
    
14. Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds fantastic if you don't know what either of those things are. 
    
15. The engineer who invented automatic doors is eternally the greatest gentleman. 
    

[Alexmahone]

I really like #14.

[c172]

1. How do you spell out the letter "H"?
2. Who invented those red buttons to open doors? Why, when there's room, aren't there sliding doors? Able-bodies beat us to the red buttons, anyway.
3. The OP's #14 sounds like something I'd have liked to do on Royal Caribbean if I didn't know better.
4. So, did Dave ever figure out from his friends---Bob and Jim?---how the go was going?

[Sterben]

Nice on number #12

[Succubus]

"THIS DOOR MUST REMAIN CLOSED AT ALL TIMES"

Then why put the door there in the first place?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

-I remember when 'roll out of bed' was just an expression.

-I knew I was middle-aged when I'd met so many people that every person I met reminded me of someone else.

-If I had a dollar for every time I needed a dollar, I'd never need a dollar.

Boru

[Godscreated]

1. How do you spell out the letter "H"?
2. Who invented those red buttons to open doors? Why, when there's room, aren't there sliding doors? Able-bodies beat us to the red buttons, anyway.
3. The OP's #14 sounds like something I'd have liked to do on Royal Caribbean if I didn't know better.
4. So, did Dave ever figure out from his friends---Bob and Jim?---how the go was going?

 1) aitch= H
 2) Red Buttons, that's what the bellhop said, Red Buttons will give everyone an autograph.
 4) Dave heard they went.
 

GC

[Little lunch]

Not only does shower water makes your farts more stinky, but it also brings about an equality, making all farts smell the same.

[Sal]

I can relate to #9

[Joods]

My daughter was reading me some of these off of a thing she saw on IG. I felt some of them were share-worthy.