Ask an Ex-racist

[mlmooney89]

Have you ever looked at a racist person and went "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Have you ever wanted to know how they justify what they are doing and saying?

Well here is your chance.

I grew up being taught to be racist and it wasn't until I got away and started my own life that I realized how fucked up I was and how fucked up it was to be taught to be like that. Since 'seeing the light' I've been trying to some how even out all the hate I spread but I still feel guilty. I've been wanting to talk about it to people that aren't in the same boat as I am, get an outside perspective but also show people that even horrible people can change for the better. So if you want to ask anything you may and I will answer truthfully.

Notes:
My mother is not racist, everything was done either behind her back or she fought hard against it. Her only fault was marrying a man that was racist (but honestly she has been married twice and in a third decade-long relationship and every one of them was seriously messed up. Current one has severe PTSD and is a hoarder. I think her MO is getting with guys she thinks she can fix. To be fair she almost did fix my step dad he was -almost- a stand up guy in public.)

I was around 23/24 when I realized what was wrong. I'm going to be 29 this year so it hasn't been really all that long for me to be on this side.

I get called a hippy and liberal by friends and family now for my outspoken 'crazy' views on this, religion, and personal rights. They blame it on me living in Austin which is the only blue in a sea of red politics.

[Edwardo Piet]

Hi Mooney,

I can't relate to racism as both my parents raised me to be anti-racist, however I can relate to an extent as my father was homophobic and until I was about 15 I was homophobic - and transphobic - myself (perhaps I should do a thread titled "ask an ex-homophobe.")

In my case it was a matter of just parroting homophobic things my dad said without really thinking about it. It was a case of just not questioning, really. I'm sure in your case there is a bit more to it than that, as the whole level of racist patriotism was probably instilled into you a lot more aggressively than my dad's offhand homophobic remarks. However, above all would you say it all ultimately comes down to almost being indoctrinated into it [racism in this case], really?

I'm sorry I can't think of any more specifics. I am aware that it seems absurd for racists and homophobes and any other form of bigotry to have such irrational justifications for their honestly harmful beliefs... but then I find it less surprising when I feel the same way about other irrational ideologies such as religious or new age ones. Those are just (usually) less harmful.

Actual question amongst my rambling is emboldened.

---

I get called a hippy and liberal by friends and family now for my outspoken 'crazy' views on this, religion, and personal rights.

As an actual self-identifying hippy liberal (and proud to be both), I myself think there are certainly worse things someone could call you

[mlmooney89]

However, above all would you say it all ultimately comes down to almost being indoctrinated into it [racism in this case], really?

---

As an actual self-identifying hippy liberal (and proud to be both), I myself think there are certainly worse things someone could call you

1) Yes I was definitely indoctrinated just like I was with religion. The racism was pushed much farther though. With religion we just said prayers at dinner time and called atheists stupid. With racism... it was part of daily life. Once in fifth grade I got a "boyfriend" and when my step dad saw his picture he said I need to break up with him because he is black. I was shocked cause I didn't think he was (I later realized he was mixed and his curly hair labeled him 'black enough' for my step dad) once I was told this I broke up with him. Then in high school this really dark black guy was paying attention to me. I tried to avoid him but if I had been honest with myself back then I really did like him. My step dad worked at the alternative school for the bad kids and it got back to him that this black kid was 'chasing' me. To put a stop to it he let it slip to the right kids that I was racist and it got back to this guy. He, and rightly so, turned on me and I became bullied. I don't blame him one bit but back then I was so confused because part of me was like 'but I liked you' while the other part was so indoctrinated that I thought I was too good for him and 'fuck yeah I'm racist'. (oh btw it wasn't exactly a secret a lot of people knew I was one)

2) I don't mind being a hippy because I love saving the environment and all that jazz. I just don't think I should be called one for speaking out against hate. I reckon if I HAD to be labeled a party liberal would be the closest but I'm not actually one. I've taken the 'tests' and I always come up dead even because I agree with points on different things on both sides.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Does your (relatively) non-racist outlook include those horrible French?

Boru

[mlmooney89]

Does your (relatively) non-racist outlook include those horrible French?

Boru

Relatively?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Does your (relatively) non-racist outlook include those horrible French?

Boru

Relatively?

Sorry, that was supposed to read 'relatively recent'. Mea culpa. 

Boru

[mlmooney89]

Relatively?

Sorry, that was supposed to read 'relatively recent'. Mea culpa. 

Boru

Lol ok. Well to be fair I don't really think about the French much. In high school the only thing I was taught about them was they were pussies in fighting. Now I of course don't think that but that's the extent of my thinking about the French. While there was racism against Asians and Mexicans it was mostly targeted at black people. I do hope that my step dad is smoldering in hell though at the idea of my last name being Rodriguez now

[c172]

Have you ever dealt with "reverse racism"?

[mlmooney89]

Have you ever dealt with "reverse racism"?

Do you mean that like I catch hate for not being racist or people being racist against me because I'm white?

Yes to both but I'm pretty sure what I labeled as racist against me being white was just in retaliation for me being racist in the first place. I doubt I would have gotten the shit I was given by black kids in school if they hadn't known I was racist. I have not dealt with any racism here in Austin since changing my views.

[brewer]

Been there, done that. Both parents racist, I was indoctrinated, mostly against the hispanic and, because of WWII and Korea, the asians. (couldn't hate the arians, we were them) The change came gradually beginning in HS and completing in college.