Ask an Ex-racist

[Whateverist]

I just have to repeat what others have said, that is commendable to have pulled yourself out of that indoctrination .. just as you did with religion.

I had it easier in that both my parents were vocal in their anti-racism. My father was in the navy and knew plenty of black men, some of whose families we'd visit and we kids would all play together. But for all that, there were very few black families in any of the navy housing suburbs I grew up in. In high school near D.C., my just younger brother and I scored jobs bagging groceries and helping customers out to their cars while we were in high school. Most of the other boys (definitely plenty of sex discrimination still) were black. So I got to experience a few environments in which I was the odd one out. All very positive.

Later I discovered there was plenty of racism in my mother's family and still is in some cases.

You had it a lot tougher and still found your way out. Well done.

[Seraphina]

Kudos to you, mooney, for changing your views and for your candor on your old views.
I don't have a question but I've noticed that real-life relationships with people who don't look like oneself and attaining an education are really the keys to dumping racist views.

I grew up in a small, very conservative town. There was maybe one black family there when I was growing up. No Latinos and the only Asians I saw worked in the one Chinese restaurant.
Ironically, all 5 of us kids turned out quite liberal, including one brother who's been in the military for 27 years and another brother that lives in Austin!

How you were raised doesn't have to be your destiny.

-Teresa

[vorlon13]

Were you secretly attracted to black men?

Nope.

Openly. Since coming out in '75 I've maintained an 'equal opportunity' policy on all my genitals and orifices.

[Huggy Bear]

Interesting, must not be all that worried about a prolapse.

[mlmooney89]

Were you secretly attracted to black men?

I liked those kids I was telling Hammy about and y'all remember Sisqo? I distinctly remember when Thong Song came out, I was ten, having a conversation with my best friend going "for a black guy he is cute"

Now I have an internet crush on Steel here on af.org lol

---

Y'all wanna know the lowest moment I think things went? It was a crash and burn of religion and racism. I asked my step dad if he believed in evolution or the bible. He said both. His explanation? White people were from the bible and God while black people came from apes. I will never know if he truly thought that because he laughed and made black jokes. I then parroted that idea with my friend and it was our thing to combat those that said you can't have the bible and science.

I also had more confederate flags than you could shake a stick at. Hat, shirts, bikini, etc. I was a broken record with the whole "heritage not hate" if anyone commented on it. That was total bullshit and we all knew which is why when I hear others claim heritage or "saving history" I go ape shit saying you can't pull that over on me cause I've said that myself.

[Fireball]

Were you secretly attracted to black men?

I liked those kids I was telling Hammy about and y'all remember Sisqo? I distinctly remember when Thong Song came out, I was ten, having a conversation with my best friend going "for a black guy he is cute"

Now I have an internet crush on Steel here on af.org lol

---

Y'all wanna know the lowest moment I think things went? It was a crash and burn of religion and racism. I asked my step dad if he believed in evolution or the bible. He said both. His explanation? White people were from the bible and God while black people came from apes. I will never know if he truly thought that because he laughed and made black jokes. I then parroted that idea with my friend and it was our thing to combat those that said you can't have the bible and science.

I also had more confederate flags than you could shake a stick at. Hat, shirts, bikini, etc. I was a broken record with the whole "heritage not hate" if anyone commented on it. That was total bullshit and we all knew which is why when I hear others claim heritage or "saving history" I go ape shit saying you can't pull that over on me cause I've said that myself.

Confederate flag bikini pics, or it didn't happen. Also, to answer Huggy's question- I like black men if they are pretty enough. PM me some photos!

[Huggy Bear]

White people were from the bible and God while black people came from apes.

Yeah... About that...

I always find that bit hilarious, cause I'm like "really"?

[Edwardo Piet]

I had it easier in that both my parents were vocal in their anti-racism.  

Same. I was born in Wolverhampton in the UK, which is actually often informally known as "Black country". On our street the majority of British people living there were actually black. There were the people who were very anti-racist like my parents, and then there were the black people, and then there were the few people who would have been racist I guess...

But I never really noticed any racism. But as soon as I move up to the north of England (I went where my mom went)... like 99% of people are white here, and on the occasion that you do see a black person, you notice racism. I find it disgusting to be honest. I remember volunteering years ago when I was like 23 or something, at a charity shop. A new guy joined who was this white guy who seemed a bit of a douche.... then one day we get a donation via a van and a big black guy is helping out.... this douchey new white guy asks to me in a half-laughing voice as if he assumes I'm going to agree with him "Why is there a n****r helping?" I was shocked and just responded with nothing but silence. Takes a lot for me to ignore someone but I never spoke to him again. When the assistant manager took me aside and asked why I was ignoring him, I told her. Next day the guy didn't come back.

Another thing that I find extremely odd is, I started working at another charity shop years later.... and we got onto a conversation about something or other I can't remember why. But I referred to a black person as black and I got told that that was racist and I should say "colored" LOL. I was like "It's very much the other way around." And everyone was saying it isn't. And I've heard people say "colored" around here too, it's disgusting. It's like people don't even know what is and isn't a slur around here.

In my experience cosmopolitanism is very healthy. As soon as I move up to an area where it's 99% white people they all seem very racist towards the 1% non-white. But mixtures of different races living in the same area seems to lead to less racism. At least that's my take on it.

[mlmooney89]

I've always been around a large mix of people because of being an army brat. In fact in high school the cheerleaders didn't run the school it was two groups; one group of popular black kids and one group of popular Hispanic kids.

Austin has a lot of middle eastern people which is one group I haven't been around much. I loved seeing their outfits since they walk outside so much, not joking a bunch of traditionally dressed middle eastern people walk around all the time in all three apartment complexes we've lived in. I'm not talkin burka I'm talkin the women's outfits that show off their stomachs and the men's that almost look like long dresses. The only thing I don't care for is on these daily walks the women are always a few paces behind the men.

The city I work in is like white person central. I'm not exaggerating I've seen -maybe- a dozen black people in this entire town in the five years I've worked here. It's full of retired rich white people. There are a bunch of Hispanics as well but they are seldom customers of the bank, they usually just cash employment checks from the white people. It was really funny cause there is a group of about 20 Hispanic men that come to cash their check every Friday from one employer (without a doubt 95% are here illegally) but they are the nicest guys and so patient so when they come in we all chat through broken languages. The funny part is that when I taped a picture of Tony and myself to my computer one guy was like
"Who is that?"
"Uh my husband?"
"He is Hispanic."
*chuckles* "Yes he is."
He smiles at me and then points it out to all the other guys and suddenly I'm like part of their club.

[Little lunch]

My dad was fairly racist and I rebelled against everything he ever said so that pushed me in the right direction.
I've found myself wondering what racism actually means many times in the past.
I've agreed with myself that judging a person by their nationality or the colour of their skin is wrong.
But then I've mixed with other cultures and felt highly uncomfortable.
You can tip toe through another culture, trying not to offend or break any rules you don't know about and that feels wrong, like your holding them to a different standard than everyone else.
You can treat a person from another culture like anyone else and cause upset by treading all over their customs like you think they don't matter.
I think a lot of people who say they aren't racist haven't necessarily put themselves to the test.
In all honesty, I think I may be a little bit racist but I'll never stop working to correct that and I don't know if I'll ever completely succeed.

On a side note, I went to pick up my daughter from her mother's place the other day and was told she was over at the Indian family's flat, playing with their kids.
I went over and was directed to the Chinese family's flat where all the kids were having a great time.
It was really nice to see.