porn and women

[Amarok]

I’m divided on the porn issue.  My husband and I watch it together from time to time, which can be fun.  On the other hand, I have seen some behind the scenes videos that exposed a lot of abuse toward the female during the filming of a video, so that concerns me.  Another objection I have is that porn really doesn’t take any care with the woman’s pleasure.  It’s all...guys slapping girls between the legs, gagging them with their dicks, and a lot of horrible overacting.  I find it hard to believe many female counterparts derive any pleasure from moves that clearly only serve the purpose of visually stimulating the male viewer.  It would be refreshing to watch a porno that truely focused on the pleasure of the woman for once.  As far as society as a whole, I don’t think it has any overreaching negative effects.

Indeed there seems to be a lot of dark porn.

I want to see all parties enjoying themselves. I don't want to watch something that if it was happening in front of me I'd feel the need to intervene in, even if it is staged.

Again depends on the kind .

[Edwardo Piet]

I’m divided on the porn issue.  My husband and I watch it together from time to time, which can be fun.

Fun!

 On the other hand, I have seen some behind the scenes videos that exposed a lot of abuse toward the female during the filming of a video, so that concerns me.

That is concerning. Although I think that's a matter of abuse being bad rather than porn being bad.

 Another objection I have is that porn really doesn’t take any care with the woman’s pleasure.  It’s all...guys slapping girls between the legs, gagging them with their dicks, and a lot of horrible overacting.  I find it hard to believe many female counterparts derive any pleasure from moves that clearly only serve the purpose of visually stimulating the male viewer.

Some women definitely do enjoy that sort of thing but yes most don't and are overacting.

But yes it is definitely far, far, far, more catered to men. Although that's probably down to the fact that most porn viewers are male so they're just catering to the male population so they can make more money. Just like with any other industry. If 90% of porn watchers were female... do you think perhaps the porn would be more female-directed?

 It would be refreshing to watch a porno that truely focused on the pleasure of the woman for once.

They do exist! Just gotta search for them!

In case you're interested... there's a whole section catered towards female viewers on the porn site xhamster.... although you're probably be surprised how much a lot of it is acutally focused around male pleasure! There are definitely a lot of women who are more turned on by turning on their man than themselves... although that's probably because society has been so sexist for so long that a lot of women have pretty much been culturally programmed into being turned on by what men want. And I am sure hereosexual women with a low self esteem are often likely to be turned on especially by giving men pleasure.(And the takeaway from that is if you think more pleasure should he directed towards women... good that's healthy!. It looks like you've escaped a lot of society's sexist programming).

I mean, I relate it to the fact that when I'm feeling confident I feel more sexually dominant... but when my self esteem is low expecting pleasure from a female seems so unrealistic I can't even get to the fantasy of it. So I am far more sexually submissive when I have lower self esteem (although I do think there is probably also a genetic basis for women to be slightly more submissive than men on average for evolutionary reasons (it makes it easier for men to pass their seed on if women are submissive)).

And, of course, women's self esteem has been ultimately ground down by men and a sexist male-focused society. Even in cases where hereosexual women are bitches to each other and bully each other it's often for male attention (not always but often).

And what I find ridiculous is that many men give examples of women being sexist towards them... but in many cases sexism towards men ultimately comes down to sexism towards women. For example, the whole idea that men are supposed to be tough guys and hold open doors for women and not cry and blah blah blah... that all comes from the sexist idea of men thinking they're above women and that they don't need to cry and they hold open doors for women because they have to take care of them because they can't do it themselves and stuff like that. And even the notion of men having to act all tough comes from the notion that they have to compete with each other to be the toughest of the tough guys so they can take care of women as if they can't take care of themselves. (In case you can't tell I'm not just a feminist but I identity as one and have no problem with the label).

 As far as society as a whole, I don’t think it has any overreaching negative effects.

Yeah I would agree. Excluding, of course, illegal forms of porn.

[Amarok]

I will point out to beware of the horror stories as they stand out as they are so brutal and should not be used as a norm for any industry .

[polymath257]

From what I can see, the overall advertising industry is far, far more harmful o women. For that matter 'women's magazines' portray a very distorted view of what a woman *should* look like and that standard seems to be picked up on by the vast majority of women. Then, it is often the women that are criticizing other women about appearances, etc. As far as I can see, the cumulative effect of this on women and their self-image far worse than anything seen in porn. And part of the reason is that this is on the shelves in grocery stores and visible all the time. it is on the TV and on posters and is generally promoting a standard of beauty that few women can handle, and truthfully most men do not want.

Let's face it, there are some people that think a naked person on film is automatically degrading. There are those who think that showing a breast is the end of the world and more harmful than, say, showing mass killing and destruction. I strongly disagree with that notion. I don't see nudity as degrading. I see it as a natural condition that should be accepted: we are all naked at times.

There are also those that see *any* sex as rape: Andrea Dworkin is a famous example of such. From such a viewpoint, porn will automatically be a harm. If *all* penetrative sex is evil, then all penetrative sex on film is evil. Again, I fundamentally disagree with this viewpoint.

Is there really, really bad pron out there? Yes, of course. Is there stuff I consider degrading to *all* in the film? yes. Do I think it has a significant impact on society at large? Not really. It is a small part of the overall industry, most of which is promoting a fantasy so people can masturbate.

In any case, I know my wife looks at/watches porn. I look at/watch porn. Taken as fantasy and NOT reality, I see nothing wrong with it.

[pocaracas]

the porn site xhamster....

Really, Hammy?!
You have your own porn site?

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[Homeless Nutter]

I think romantic comedies are way more harmful than porn. At least porn is made for adults and pretty much everyone knows what it's for. Rom-coms build up unrealistic expectations, perpetuate harmful stereotypes and promote reckless, selfish behaviors, all the while masquerading as wholesome stories with a positive message for very young people. And let's not forget, that there are plenty of behind-the-scenes horror stories from movie industry as well.

[downbeatplumb]

I think romantic comedies are way more harmful than porn. At least porn is made for adults and pretty much everyone knows what it's for. Rom-coms build up unrealistic expectations, perpetuate harmful stereotypes and promote reckless, selfish behaviors, all the while masquerading as wholesome stories with a positive message for very young people. And let's not forget, that there are plenty of behind-the-scenes horror stories from movie industry as well.

Indeed. Jane Austins pride and prejudice seems to tell women that the cold distant arsehole is the best match.

[Cecelia]

I think people greatly overestimate the effect of media on individuals. Movies, Video Games, Porn... these don't influence us nearly as much as people think they do. In fact it's the other way around. Media reflects society, not influences it. Remember that we're not so far removed from considering women as property. Women haven't had the right to vote in the United States for 100 years yet. Women, despite comprising of 50% of the population, make up just 20% of congress. And we've never had a female President OR Vice President. In fact, we've only had ONE candidate in the last near 100 years running for a major political party.

Are there concerns with how some women are being treated in the porn industry? Definitely. Same for the men. But that's not endemic of the industry so much as it is of society.

The fact is we live in a world where only 64 years ago it was considered okay to send black children to different schools than white children. We're not even 50 years removed from when women were given a right to make their own healthcare decisions regarding pregnancy. Yeah, advertising can give girls body image issues. Porn can too. But only because society let it happen, and not because of those industries themselves. After all, those industries are only a result of society's own views.

[Shell B]

I think romantic comedies are way more harmful than porn. At least porn is made for adults and pretty much everyone knows what it's for. Rom-coms build up unrealistic expectations, perpetuate harmful stereotypes and promote reckless, selfish behaviors, all the while masquerading as wholesome stories with a positive message for very young people. And let's not forget, that there are plenty of behind-the-scenes horror stories from movie industry as well.

Indeed. Jane Austins pride and prejudice seems to tell women that the cold distant arsehole is the best match.

Did you finish the book? It turns out he wasn't an asshole. She was making a bunch of assumptions about him. She was the prejudice in Pride and Prejudice. That said, anyone who reads that story as anything other than a comedy missed the point by a mile. Sure, it's somewhat romantic, but the characters are farces for a reason. You're not supposed to want to be them. You're supposed to laugh at them.

[KevinM1]

Actually, if you’re going to watch porn, xhamster isn’t a site I’d use. They have a habit of not paying the small-to-medium sized producers they’ve agreed to host videos for.

Pornhub is likely the best option. They’re technology forward (were the first to embrace HTML 5) and just generally seem to have their shit together.