100 Greatest Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian Chat Rooms

[thesummerqueen]

I DO know people who are this stupid. You can't make some of this shit up.

[Anomalocaris]

I DO know people who are this stupid. You can't make some of this shit up.

If there is Christianity, how can there NOT be people this stupid?

[Violet]

This isn't from a Christian chat room. It's from a writer's forum, but it made me laugh.

This is a question posed by an atheist.

If god is all powerful, why didn't he just bring everything into existence all at once?

This idiot's answer.

Because…God has personality.

Actually, that makes a fair bit of sense. I definitely prefer that answer to some of the other's i've heard

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I was recently criticized for making a statement about my daughter not being able to play a war game on the Wii because she was a girl.

There are no war games on the Wii. There are some war themed atrocities of programming, but no war games.

Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan to mock Jesus by giving EVILolition credibility. Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women. Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are.

You know, it is rude to spy on a girl while she is practicing her seduction capabilities on non-human apes >_< I hope for your sake you didn't have any media of it, because any that i find when i come calling will be force fed to you. After I copy it all of course... that silverback was talented ^_^

The only solution we have to stop gays from recruiting other people is to cut off the source.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0aNILW6ILk

^That's a workable method to cut the problem off at the source (the brain)

A woman wants to abort a rape child? She should have thought of that before she walked down that dark alley without a male prescence, not to mention she should have thought before putting on revealing attire….Should’ve stayed in the house where it’s safe.

The male escort is sometimes the rapist. Wearing a snowsuit doesn't make you rape immune (just less tantalizing). The walls are not a sanctuary... they are a noose. Safety is very hard to come by indeed, and costs a great deal to purchase.

If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do

Fascinating... I'm married to 5 different men and soon to be married to a woman, and I'm not even 18 yet ^_^

I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don’t think he’s ready to date yet. What’s worse is that he’s sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!

Lady... I wouldn't be so sure about the girlfriend thing...

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[orogenicman]

This one is definitely one of the more disturbing ones:

Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan to mock Jesus by giving EVILolition credibility. Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women. Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are.

[Anomalocaris]

Substitute "creationist" for "ape" and the comment actually increase in respectability.

[chatpilot]

As a former fundie myself I have heard enough absurdity to last me a life time. When it comes to Christianity and christian beliefs I would like to take the time to quote one of this worlds greatest philosophers: " Stupid is as stupid does." The great Forrest Gump

The funniest experience I have had with believers is when they are trying to debate my arguments and the find themselves backed into a corner, they pull some irrational bull shit out of their asses in a desperate effort to save face.

Example: If God created man, then who or what created God?

Answer: The bible says that he is the Alpha (beginning) and the Omega (the end) of all things he does not require a creator since he is the first and only uncaused cause.

That is a fundies idea of logic!!

[Ubermensch]

Obviously some of these are fakes. But some of them are really real, fo real. Either way, I laughed, I laughed that I would not weep.

[Diamond]

A real eyeroller

There is not a single passage or concept in the Bible that would be offensive to any human on the planet

As a vegetarian, this one is kinda disturbing to me. Just a little.

In my opinion, if an animal in the wild like a swan is caught being gay it should be shot on sight, disinfected, and used to feed the poor.

Do people even eat swans?

[Rhizomorph13]

In my opinion, if an animal in the wild like a swan is caught being gay it should be shot on sight, disinfected, and used to feed the poor.

Do people even eat swans?

LOL yeah, I guess poor people would... Oh, and since when is "gay" something that could be passed on by eating the flesh of an animal?

[Minimalist]

Obviously some of these are fakes. But some of them are really real, fo real. Either way, I laughed, I laughed that I would not weep.

I don't know about that. Consider this Hate Mail sent to Landover Baptist from self-professed 'real' christians protesting the site. Some of these people are astoundingly dumb.


http://www.landoverbaptist.org/mail/1110.html