A Thought On Oral Sex

[robvalue]

That woman from the sperm bank knocked on my door again this morning. I gave her a mouthful.

(I can't remember where I heard this joke, this one isn't mine )

[I_am_not_mafia]

That woman from the sperm bank knocked on my door again this morning. I gave her a mouthful.

I find that difficult to swallow.

[Fake Messiah]

You know I always wondered about oral sex and Bill Clinton because in America, with well-established tradition of teenage ‘makeouts’ in the backs of various iconic automobiles, ‘giving head,’ to use the technical term, precedes ‘full’ missionary-position sex more often than not; indeed, it's the most common way for young girls to preserve their virginity while keeping their sweethearts satisfied.

In short, an acceptable alternative to fucking. So that's why when Bill Clinton affirmed that he had never had sex with that woman means that he was telling the truth because as culturally defined in United States oral sex is precisely not sex. It's what enables young girls to come home and with their hands on their hearts tell their parents that you hadn't "done it." So Slick Willy, Billy the Clint, has just been parroting what any red-blooded American teenager would have said.

[polymath257]

You know I always wondered about oral sex and Bill Clinton because in America, with well-established tradition of teenage ‘makeouts’ in the backs of various iconic automobiles, ‘giving head,’ to use the technical term, precedes ‘full’ missionary-position sex more often than not; indeed, it's the most common way for young girls to preserve their virginity while keeping their sweethearts satisfied.

In short, an acceptable alternative to fucking. So that's why when Bill Clinton affirmed that he had never had sex with that woman means that he was telling the truth because as culturally defined in United States oral sex is precisely not sex. It's what enables young girls to come home and with their hands on their hearts tell their parents that you hadn't "done it." So Slick Willy, Billy the Clint, has just been parroting what any red-blooded American teenager would have said.

It's also relevant that 'sex' was defined for him during his questioning as 'genital-genital contact'.

[Little lunch]

"What kind of crack was that?"

"The kind you were hoping for!"

"Mmfmffmmfm."

That last line would make a very interesting gender configuration for an oral sex train.
And an even more interesting electrocution murder plot on NCIS, especially that bit at the start where they hypothesise what happened in slow motion.
Hmmm, that might be enough drugs for me tonight. :-)

[Bob Kelso]

“Shut up.”

‘You shut up!’

“Make me.”

‘Fine, but you might moan a bit.’

[chimp3]

The best way to recover from a break up is to go down on someone new!

[The Valkyrie]

The best way to recover from a break up is to go down on someone new!

Fuck.

I thought it was to hunt down the one who betrayed you, vivisect them slowly, feed their meat to the homeless, and grind their bones to dust?

So, bjs are better?

[chimp3]

The best way to recover from a break up is to go down on someone new!

Fuck.

I thought it was to hunt down the one who betrayed you,    vivisect them slowly, feed their meat to the homeless, and grind their bones to dust?

So, bjs are better?

If I know you in real life....yes!

[Ravenshire]

A married couple, looking to spice things up in the bedroom, decide to try oral sex. After just a few minutes, they go to bed. She asks if he liked it and he replied "not really. Shouting 'fuck you' across the room and waiting for you to shout it back just didn't feel right without the argument."