I Don't Care

[Nay_Sayer]

It's nobody else's business

---

It's none of their business and their feels don't matter

So why should anyone respect your feelings about anything? You don't respect those of others. I sure don't want someone feeling like I violated them.

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Now that you’ve edited your message I think I’m getting a better idea. You wouldn’t expect a one night stand to give you any other personal information on themselves so why this?
So yea, it’s probably on the person who wants to know to ask.

It just being a one night stand doesn't get anyone off the hook. If the person later finds out and feels violated, then you can't just dismiss their feelings because it was just a one night stand. "It was just one time" isn't a defense.

So you let them know everything before getting into the bed, closet or musty gas station bathroom 10 miles in on RT I90 with the leaky faucet....as a non-specific, I totally didn't do that example.

[Yonadav]

You're suffering under the false assumption that everyone should respect everyone elses feelings.  I don't respect yours, and that fact doesn't fill me with a single iota of regret or shame.

Mostly, because it's the usual song and dance.  Some terrible person is okay with being terrible, because they think that pointing to imaginary hypocrisy excuses their shittyness.

Whatever gets you through the day, troll.  Heaven forfend you realize what a trash person you are, that really would be tragic.

I am not suffering under any false assumptions. I'm saying that we have to recognize the validity of what others feel violated by. If you don't respect that in others, then you aren't in any position to expect that your boundaries be respected.

This is especially true in the case of transsexuals, because their sense of self identity revolves around a postmodern personal truth. Postmodern personal truth isn't something that can be forced onto others without invalidating the entire concept of postmodern personal truth.

[Foxaèr]

Now I'm just all kinds of lost.

[Losty]

It's nobody else's business

---

It's none of their business and their feels don't matter

So why should anyone respect your feelings about anything? You don't respect those of others. I sure don't want someone feeling like I violated them.

---

Now that you’ve edited your message I think I’m getting a better idea. You wouldn’t expect a one night stand to give you any other personal information on themselves so why this?
So yea, it’s probably on the person who wants to know to ask.

It just being a one night stand doesn't get anyone off the hook. If the person later finds out and feels violated, then you can't just dismiss their feelings because it was just a one night stand. "It was just one time" isn't a defense.

It has nothing to do with it only being a one time as a defense. It’s that, in a one night stand the person you’re fucking owes you nothing. They don’t have to tell you if they support trump or I’ve theyve ever slept with someone of the same gender as them, or if their mother is Salvadoran. There’s no reason for them to assume you’re going to feel violated. So it makes sense that if that’s something that really bothers you, then it’s up to you to ask.

[The Grand Nudger]

Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Peen Party?

[Losty]

Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Peen Party?

I don’t know 😳 what is it?

[Amarok]

So why should anyone respect your feelings about anything?You don't respect those of others.

Not all feelings in all situations are equal in all situations 

 I sure don't want someone feeling like I violated them.

Too bad you didn't actually violate them and they need to get over that falsehood

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I am not suffering under any false assumptions.

Yes you are 

I'm saying that we have to recognize the validity of what others feel violated by. If you don't respect that in others, then you aren't in any position to expect that your boundaries be respected.

Not all boundaries are equal nor are all feelings about boundaries 

This is especially true in the case of transsexuals, because their sense of self identity revolves around a postmodern personal truth.

Nope trans is not post modern 

Postmodern personal truth isn't something that can be forced onto others without invalidating the entire concept of postmodern personal truth.

That doesn't follow even if Trans were postmodern. Someone's been drink Peterson brand koolaid .

[The Grand Nudger]

You're suffering under the false assumption that everyone should respect everyone elses feelings.  I don't respect yours, and that fact doesn't fill me with a single iota of regret or shame.

Mostly, because it's the usual song and dance.  Some terrible person is okay with being terrible, because they think that pointing to imaginary hypocrisy excuses their shittyness.

Whatever gets you through the day, troll.  Heaven forfend you realize what a trash person you are, that really would be tragic.

I am not suffering under any false assumptions. I'm saying that we have to recognize the validity of what others feel violated by. If you don't respect that in others, then you aren't in any position to expect that your boundaries be respected.

This is especially true in the case of transsexuals, because their sense of self identity revolves around a postmodern personal truth. Postmodern personal truth isn't something that can be forced onto others without invalidating the entire concept of postmodern personal truth.

Still not remotely interested in your silly boundaries.  Ooooh Nooooessssss!

Postmodernism, Boo! Howsabout you stop worrying and learn to love the dick, huh?

[Amarok]

I feel conflicted about this. How is it “none of their business”? If you’re having sex with someone, I think it might be their business.

As far as them informing a person that their trans ... no

[I_am_not_mafia]

If you're reaching for crotch, the only business that matters is your business.  They're your hands.  Come up with something unexpected, well, I guess it's time to laugh or do some soul searching.

LOL, hell, you might even be looking for peen and find the wrong -kind- of peen.  Your problem.  Their toad peen aint your business until you decide to grab it.

It's just the usual dump of responsibility in othering, plausible until you give it a moments thought.  Consider this - "you should have told me it was a mexican dick!"  The gist is a denial of desire for shame.  If only you'd known some x, then maybe you wouldn't have been so damned slutty, lol.  My advice to any guy aquiver with fear over surprise penis is simple.  A, it's not going to happen.  B....on the odd chance it does, lean in, you obviously like her.

Now that you’ve edited your message I think I’m getting a better idea. You wouldn’t expect a one night stand to give you any other personal information on themselves so why this?
So yea, it’s probably on the person who wants to know to ask.

Also I have never advocated not telling someone you are about to sleep with if you are pre-op and they're going to find out anyway. But being called a date rapist for not telling someone when you are post-op and wouldn't otherwise know if you hadn't told them, that's just misogyny and transphobia. The problem is that Yonadav assumes that a trans-woman's body will always be a male body no matter what it looks like, feels like, or how it works. That's why I am saying that he has internalised the transphobia.

It's easy to do. I mean I have internalised all the aggression I experienced against me as a child and have grown up generally hating myself and feeling that I am worthless. I recognise what's happening but it doesn't mean that it's easy to fix. When I feel particularly angry with myself for messing up I sometimes even punch myself in my head. And that's all because I internalised it from a young age. People don't generally know that they have internalised homophobia or transphobia and the psychological cost of doing so is always very high because you end up hating a core part of yourself, or at the very least, suppressing who you are and trying to get everyone else to do the same. I am not going to do that just because some transsexual who is part of a patriarchal religion in another part of the world has bought into man-made bullshit.

I live in the UK. Acceptance of transsexuality is much greater here. There is not the same level of fear mongering that there is in the US, despite the right wing Christians from America trying to fund hate in this country.