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How do Christians imagine 2nd coming of Jesus?
#1
How do Christians imagine 2nd coming of Jesus?
Do they imagine that some child will be born (or some guy will show up) who will do miracles like turning water into wine, walk on water, turn clay pigeons into real ones, and then people like the Pope, Joel Osteen, and Mike Pence will authenticate he is Jesus and Christians will worship him?

Or do they imagine that one day they will hear horns from the sky, and then giant Jesus will show up in the sky and destroy unbelievers in him with a laser from his eyes?

Or maybe some other way? I know there is that series of novels called “Left Behind” where Christians suddenly disappear, but then it goes on and on—doesn’t seem very coherent, and does Jesus even show up there?
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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#2
RE: How do Christians imagine 2nd coming of Jesus?
None of the denominations I’m aware of are holding out for laser eyes, but the rest of it’s pretty close.

The generally held view is that on his second go round, Jesus isn’t going to minister or preach, he’s coming solely to judge mankind. He will descend from the heavens in glory and clouds (I think it’s in Peter, but I’m not entirely sure).

Boru
‘Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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#3
RE: How do Christians imagine 2nd coming of Jesus?
More straining, more moaning, less ... product after all that. I don't think his boy posse minded.
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#4
RE: How do Christians imagine 2nd coming of Jesus?
(August 17, 2020 at 4:10 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: None of the denominations I’m aware of are holding out for laser eyes, but the rest of it’s pretty close.

Well, there is a description of Jesus in Revelation with "eyes like blazing fire" and I've seen it portrayed like that

[Image: eyes-lazer.jpg]

And who knows, maybe Kevin Smith's upcoming rapture movie where Christ is like Godzilla (Christzilla) will perhaps be the most accurate portrayal of how Christians imagine that event.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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#5
RE: How do Christians imagine 2nd coming of Jesus?
(August 17, 2020 at 4:23 pm)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: More straining, more moaning, less ... product after all that. I don't think his boy posse minded.

i dunno...

It's been a couple thousand years... 

He might finish in one stroke...


Hilarious

(August 17, 2020 at 4:36 pm)Fake Messiah Wrote:
(August 17, 2020 at 4:10 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: None of the denominations I’m aware of are holding out for laser eyes, but the rest of it’s pretty close.

Well, there is a description of Jesus in Revelation with "eyes like blazing fire" and I've seen it portrayed like that

[Image: eyes-lazer.jpg]

And who knows, maybe Kevin Smith's upcoming rapture movie where Christ is like Godzilla (Christzilla) will perhaps be the most accurate portrayal of how Christians imagine that event.

Will Rufus be joining him?
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#6
RE: How do Christians imagine 2nd coming of Jesus?
The abstract nature of the Revelations leaves a lot to be desired. The people who take it literally, markedly the number of the Beast, have - and interpreted - similarly thought of everything from having ID papers from yesteryear to today's microchipped view.

I see it as someone who blathered on and on while on shrooms.
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool." - Richard P. Feynman
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#7
RE: How do Christians imagine 2nd coming of Jesus?
(August 17, 2020 at 4:36 pm)Fake Messiah Wrote:
(August 17, 2020 at 4:10 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: None of the denominations I’m aware of are holding out for laser eyes, but the rest of it’s pretty close.

Well, there is a description of Jesus in Revelation with "eyes like blazing fire" and I've seen it portrayed like that

[Image: eyes-lazer.jpg]

And who knows, maybe Kevin Smith's upcoming rapture movie where Christ is like Godzilla (Christzilla) will perhaps be the most accurate portrayal of how Christians imagine that event.

Why is he eating that sword?
The meek shall inherit the Earth, the rest of us will fly to the stars.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups

Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in mud ..... after a while you realise that the pig likes it!

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#8
RE: How do Christians imagine 2nd coming of Jesus?
"His voice is a like a sword to the unfaithful."
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#9
RE: How do Christians imagine 2nd coming of Jesus?
(August 17, 2020 at 4:59 pm)zebo-the-fat Wrote:
(August 17, 2020 at 4:36 pm)Fake Messiah Wrote: Well, there is a description of Jesus in Revelation with "eyes like blazing fire" and I've seen it portrayed like that

[Image: eyes-lazer.jpg]

And who knows, maybe Kevin Smith's upcoming rapture movie where Christ is like Godzilla (Christzilla) will perhaps be the most accurate portrayal of how Christians imagine that event.

Why is he eating that sword?


Revelation 19:15, : ‘And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.’

Boru

_____

Edit: Oops, GS got it. The ‘sword out of his mouth’ is an allegory for the word of God.
‘Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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#10
RE: How do Christians imagine 2nd coming of Jesus?
Heard of full preterists by any chance?

Please see this (interesting stuff):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preterism

Quote:Full preterism

Full preterism differs from partial preterism in that full preterists believe that the destruction of Jerusalem fulfilled all eschatological or "end times" events, including the resurrection of the dead and Jesus' Second Coming, or Parousia, and the Final Judgment.

Other names of full preterism include:

preterism (because the term itself means "past")
consistent preterism
true preterism
hyper-preterism (a pejorative term used by opponents of preterists)
pantelism. (The term "pantelism" comes from two Greek roots: παν (pan), "everything", and τελ- (tel-), referring to completion).
Covenant Eschatology
Fulfilled Eschatology

Full preterists argue that a literal reading of Matthew 16:28 (where Jesus tells the disciples that some of them will not taste death until they see him coming in his kingdom) places the second coming in the first century. This precludes a physical second coming of Christ. Instead, the second coming is symbolic of a "judgment" against Jerusalem, said to have taken place with the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem in AD 70. For this reason, people who oppose the whole notion also call full preterism "the AD 70 doctrine" as their whole eschatology is hinged on this one event. R. C. Sproul says of full preterist Max R. King, of Ohio; "For this schema to work, the traditional idea of resurrection must be replaced with a metaphorical idea of resurrection".

Detractors of full preterism often refer to the school as hyper-preterism. Many evangelicals regard full preterism as outside of Christian orthodoxy.
"Our attitudes towards things like race or gender operate on two levels. First of all, we have our conscious attitudes. This is what we choose to believe. These are our stated values, which we use to direct our behavior deliberately ... But the IAT [Implicit Association Test] measures something else. It measures our second level of attitude, our racial attitude on an unconscious level - the immediate, automatic associations that tumble out before we've even had time to think. We don't deliberately choose our unconscious attitudes. And ... we may not even be aware of them. The giant computer that is our unconscious silently crunches all the data it can from the experiences we've had, the people we've met, the lessons we've learned, the books we've read, the movies we've seen, and so on, and it forms an opinion." - Malcolm Gladwell
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