Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 25, 2024, 9:50 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Did you test positive?

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
Did you test positive?
ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
*****
Religious Views: n/a
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation: 111
#1
Did you test positive?
September 2, 2020 at 7:07 pm
There was a spider in the kitchen. I yell at the wife to kill it. She's asks why I can't do it?
I told her, sorry I tested positive for arachnophobia! It's a medical condition Dunno

She said: more like you tested positive for bullshit! lol

Shit, she's onto me!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35341
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#2
RE: Did you test positive?
September 2, 2020 at 7:08 pm
Never understood peoples' fear of spiders.

Just kill the bloody things!

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 46417
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#3
RE: Did you test positive?
September 2, 2020 at 7:18 pm
We generally just scoop them up and dump them outside.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
*****
Religious Views: n/a
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation: 111
#4
RE: Did you test positive?
September 2, 2020 at 7:24 pm
I can't kill/harm them... (I actually feel for them as living animals). Plus I'm petrified of them. Hairy evil ugly bastards they are.
I let the terminator do it. aka the wife!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 46417
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#5
RE: Did you test positive?
September 2, 2020 at 7:29 pm (This post was last modified: September 2, 2020 at 7:30 pm by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
(September 2, 2020 at 7:24 pm)ignoramus Wrote: I can't kill/harm them... (I actually feel for them as living animals). Plus I'm petrified of them. Hairy evil ugly bastards they are.
I let the terminator do it. aka the wife!

That’s exactly how I feel about horses - hairy, evil, ugly bastards. If I were to find a horse in our kitchen, I’d have to get the wife to kill it.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35341
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#6
RE: Did you test positive?
September 2, 2020 at 7:32 pm
Years ago I helped my wrinklies move to a new house in Sydney. I went into the garage and a funnelweb decided to get aggressive.

Spider went "splat!".

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
arewethereyet Offline
Don't make me use my mom voice!
*******
Religious Views: Yawn...
Posts: 16603
Threads: 128
Joined: July 10, 2013
Reputation: 65
#7
RE: Did you test positive?
September 2, 2020 at 8:24 pm
Husband calls me for spider murder. He's a total wuss when it comes to spiders. In return I expect him to handle any other unwanted critters.

Son is also terrified of spiders...it's not genetic...at least not in connection with my husband who is not my son's father.
[Image: MmQV79M.png]  
                                      
Find
Reply
ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
*****
Religious Views: n/a
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation: 111
#8
RE: Did you test positive?
September 2, 2020 at 8:28 pm
I'm the go to person for jimny crickets... I love the little suckers...
If I didn't pick 'em up and take them outside, the terminator wouldn't discriminate!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Find
Reply
no one Offline
That thing that should not be
****
Religious Views: Certainly not
Posts: 6112
Threads: 53
Joined: September 25, 2018
Reputation: 20
#9
RE: Did you test positive?
September 2, 2020 at 8:33 pm
[Image: icon_quote.jpg]Steven Wright:
Spiders are your friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.
Find
Reply
Sal Offline
The fool
****
Religious Views: agnostic atheist apostate
Posts: 2692
Threads: 11
Joined: May 13, 2013
Reputation: 17
#10
RE: Did you test positive?
September 2, 2020 at 8:49 pm
I hate flies. Spiders are my accomplices in killing flies.
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool." - Richard P. Feynman
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Did you test positive?

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Test thread never mind. Brian37 4 906 May 5, 2018 at 9:53 pm
Last Post: chimp3
  You did Not Hear this from Me Rhondazvous 11 2815 August 31, 2015 at 3:28 pm
Last Post: The Valkyrie
  Ken Hams Science test The great coleholio 6 1563 December 14, 2014 at 11:49 am
Last Post: LostLocke
  Are Test Polls Good? ShaMan 9 2485 January 17, 2014 at 7:24 pm
Last Post: ElleBelle
  Dante's Inferno Test Gooders1002 24 7300 May 28, 2013 at 5:18 pm
Last Post: Angrboda
  Test if you are open minded - Conservapedia reverendjeremiah 6 2543 January 16, 2012 at 3:54 pm
Last Post: Faith No More
  Color Personality Test A Theist 16 6725 November 30, 2010 at 8:15 am
Last Post: thesummerqueen
  Airforce Test A Theist 13 5109 November 10, 2010 at 11:32 am
Last Post: Rayaan



Users browsing this thread: 4 Guest(s)