Stupid things religious people say

[Fake Messiah]

"Linda is very powerful. Linda glows in colors when she meditates. You should see her. She’s a human light show.
To meditate with Linda was remarkable, because Linda glowed in visible colors during the meditation. Sometimes other things happened, too. Sometimes she appeared to be of different ages, very old or very young. Sometimes parts of her body disappeared. Sometimes her body seemed to be moving or twisting. All sorts of optical effects were experienced by people meditating with Linda."

- Michael Crichton

[Fake Messiah]

Here's a clever idea: why can't we change Christianity to be less bigoted, less superstitious, less criminal, less insane and more truthful? Not because these things are bad, but because the sheep are leaving.
And let's call these changes "modernization".

Letter: Christian churches should modernize, soften their stances

There is an undeniable decline in the the number of people identifying as Christian in the United States. The group of “nones” as it relates to religion is dramatically increasing especially among younger people. A lot of the reasons for shifting from Christian to nones include things like: clergy abuse and cover up, church positions on abortion, IVF and contraception, church positions on LGBTQ issues, and patriarchal positioning of women in the church as lesser members.

Is this a potential teachable moment for the various denominations? They could certainly double down on all these positions. That would probably continue the downward trend in membership.

Or, they could try to moderate their positions to be more in line with modern knowledge and understanding of some of these issues. In that sense, they are a bit like political parties in that they have to increase their base if they want to survive.

https://www.stltoday.com/opinion/letters...c930f.html

In reality, Christianity is a beast that cannot be tamed. You can only make cosmetic changes to lure unsuspecting naive people, but only so that the beast can grow and thus become more vile while its members can pretend it's not.

[Angrboda]

This has been happening organically; the only difference is it hasn't been intentional. The number of idiots arguing that Genesis wasn't to be interpreted literally originally is an example.

[Fake Messiah]

Now that the evidence of extraterrestrial presence on Earth is obviously mounting [wink, wink], theology professors are pondering where the aliens fit in their fantasy world among the myriad of mythological creatures they wholeheartedly believe in.

Evidence for UFOs is mounting. But some Christians worry they’re demonic. How can we discern the truth?

As a theology professor, I’ve long been captivated by this aspect of the story. Religious concerns (specifically, the demon hypothesis) have increasingly made their way into the core part of the UFO narrative - not just, allegedly, at the Pentagon, but also in the public. For example, former astronaut Charlie Duke (the 10th man to walk on the moon) says UAPs are “real,” but they are “demonic beings.” He adds that, “Nothing human can make a 90-degree turn at 3,000 miles an hour and survive.” The purpose behind showing off their extraordinary capabilities is “to draw [people] away from the real God.” Tucker Carlson recently made similar claims.

I asked Elizondo whether these intelligence officials presented any evidence for their demon hypothesis. The answer was no. But he tries to understand the other side’s point nonetheless. This was clear from the question he asked me: “If you thought God told you this was demonic, wouldn’t you be afraid?” Elizondo admits that everyone needs to be open to the various hypotheses, including the spiritual ones. “Maybe they’re right - maybe it is demonic,” he said. “But either way, we need to investigate further to find out.”

https://www.premierchristianity.com/feat...12.article

[Fireball]

The aliens will just claim to be Catholic priests and then whip out their anal probes...

[zebo-the-fat]

Oh no... not again!

[Sheldon]

The aliens will just claim to be Catholic priests and then whip out their anal probes...

I fear it may go the other way, with catholic priests claiming ...well you can see where this is going...

[Fake Messiah]

What do you know, virgin men are against other people using contraception.

Can I get a vasectomy? Here's what the Catholic Church teaches

While there are a multitude of reasons that lead men to seek out vasectomies, “direct sterilization” is deemed “morally unacceptable” in the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2399).

“To get clear on why sterilization is wrong, we need to be clear on why contraception is wrong,” moral theologian E. Christian Brugger told CNA. “Contraception is wrongful, as St. Paul VI taught, because it intentionally separates the unitive meaning of the conjugal act from its procreative meaning. Since marital intercourse is by definition unitive and procreative, a contraceptive act is morally speaking, non-marital.”

When asked how a couple should respond to a doctor’s opinion that it would be dangerous for the woman to have more children, Brugger suggested first verifying this “by getting at least one more medical opinion.” Once this is verified, Brugger suggests intently following a Natural Family Planning (NFP) method and seeking support from Catholic organizations such as the Pope Paul VI Institute.

Natural Family Planning is a form of fertility awareness where a couple can track the woman’s fertility cycle to determine when the woman is fertile. NFP can be used by couples wishing to conceive as well as by couples who are avoiding pregnancy. Couples who determine that there is a need to avoid pregnancy will abstain during the fertile period.

“Practicing tight NFP might require such a couple to abstain for longer periods of time than couples for whom such an urgency does not exist. And long periods of abstinence can be very difficult,” Brugger noted. “They might need to abstain for two weeks per month, perhaps three weeks. If this is the case, they should make their one week per month count. They can still have a beautiful conjugal life together. And their mutual sacrifice can be a source of unity and holiness.”

“This can be a heavy cross. But many couples carry such a cross, and every couple carries some cross,” he noted. “And those who carry their cross faithfully will be pleasing to the Lord and will be shaping up themselves into the kind of faithful people that will live one day in the kingdom.”

https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/...ch-teaches

[Ivan Denisovich]

What do you know, virgin men are against other people using contraception.

Can I get a vasectomy? Here's what the Catholic Church teaches

While there are a multitude of reasons that lead men to seek out vasectomies, “direct sterilization” is deemed “morally unacceptable” in the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2399).

“To get clear on why sterilization is wrong, we need to be clear on why contraception is wrong,” moral theologian E. Christian Brugger told CNA.  “Contraception is wrongful, as St. Paul VI taught, because it intentionally separates the unitive meaning of the conjugal act from its procreative meaning. Since marital intercourse is by definition unitive and procreative, a contraceptive act is morally speaking, non-marital.”

When asked how a couple should respond to a doctor’s opinion that it would be dangerous for the woman to have more children, Brugger suggested first verifying this “by getting at least one more medical opinion.” Once this is verified, Brugger suggests intently following a Natural Family Planning (NFP) method and seeking support from Catholic organizations such as the Pope Paul VI Institute.

Natural Family Planning is a form of fertility awareness where a couple can track the woman’s fertility cycle to determine when the woman is fertile. NFP can be used by couples wishing to conceive as well as by couples who are avoiding pregnancy. Couples who determine that there is a need to avoid pregnancy will abstain during the fertile period.

“Practicing tight NFP might require such a couple to abstain for longer periods of time than couples for whom such an urgency does not exist. And long periods of abstinence can be very difficult,” Brugger noted. “They might need to abstain for two weeks per month, perhaps three weeks. If this is the case, they should make their one week per month count. They can still have a beautiful conjugal life together. And their mutual sacrifice can be a source of unity and holiness.”

“This can be a heavy cross. But many couples carry such a cross, and every couple carries some cross,” he noted. “And those who carry their cross faithfully will be pleasing to the Lord and will be shaping up themselves into the kind of faithful people that will live one day in the kingdom.”

https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/...ch-teaches

Altar boys don't get pregnant so priest don't quite understand what this fuss is about.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

What do you know, virgin men are against other people using contraception.

Can I get a vasectomy? Here's what the Catholic Church teaches

While there are a multitude of reasons that lead men to seek out vasectomies, “direct sterilization” is deemed “morally unacceptable” in the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2399).

“To get clear on why sterilization is wrong, we need to be clear on why contraception is wrong,” moral theologian E. Christian Brugger told CNA.  “Contraception is wrongful, as St. Paul VI taught, because it intentionally separates the unitive meaning of the conjugal act from its procreative meaning. Since marital intercourse is by definition unitive and procreative, a contraceptive act is morally speaking, non-marital.”

When asked how a couple should respond to a doctor’s opinion that it would be dangerous for the woman to have more children, Brugger suggested first verifying this “by getting at least one more medical opinion.” Once this is verified, Brugger suggests intently following a Natural Family Planning (NFP) method and seeking support from Catholic organizations such as the Pope Paul VI Institute.

Natural Family Planning is a form of fertility awareness where a couple can track the woman’s fertility cycle to determine when the woman is fertile. NFP can be used by couples wishing to conceive as well as by couples who are avoiding pregnancy. Couples who determine that there is a need to avoid pregnancy will abstain during the fertile period.

“Practicing tight NFP might require such a couple to abstain for longer periods of time than couples for whom such an urgency does not exist. And long periods of abstinence can be very difficult,” Brugger noted. “They might need to abstain for two weeks per month, perhaps three weeks. If this is the case, they should make their one week per month count. They can still have a beautiful conjugal life together. And their mutual sacrifice can be a source of unity and holiness.”

“This can be a heavy cross. But many couples carry such a cross, and every couple carries some cross,” he noted. “And those who carry their cross faithfully will be pleasing to the Lord and will be shaping up themselves into the kind of faithful people that will live one day in the kingdom.”

https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/...ch-teaches

It's adorable that you think Catholic priests are virgins. 

Boru