Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 18, 2024, 3:15 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
Jackalope Away
Elon Musk owes me money
*******
Religious Views: Absent
Posts: 30974
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation: 141
#31
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 1:32 am
We've secretly replaced the contents of your cabinets with - MURDER HORNETS!!1!
Find
Reply
Rev. Rye Offline Donators
Donator
*****
Religious Views: Freethinker, ULC Minister
Posts: 12130
Threads: 125
Joined: January 11, 2010
Reputation: 45
#32
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 1:37 am (This post was last modified: November 12, 2021 at 1:40 am by Rev. Rye.)
Plant zombie porn on their computers. Maybe gay zombie porn. Or maybe just bestiality porn.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.

[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]

I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
Find
Reply
Ranjr Offline
Dialup BBS-er
***
Religious Views: ...
Posts: 1750
Threads: 0
Joined: December 11, 2019
Reputation: 9
#33
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 10:14 am
Put a Chatty Cathy doll in a dresser drawer.  Rig a coat hanger to lift it's head, opening the eyes.

BTW, if you're staying our guest room, the armoire is completely empty and for you to use.
Find
Reply
Angrboda Offline
Bringer Of Grief
*****
Religious Views: Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.
Posts: 29605
Threads: 116
Joined: February 22, 2011
Reputation: 159
#34
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 10:50 am
If their clothes are sorted in the dresser, rearrange them so that everything is mixed together. Replace all the underwear with underwear that is one size smaller.
[Image: extraordinarywoo-sig.jpg]
Find
Reply
arewethereyet Offline
Don't make me use my mom voice!
*******
Religious Views: Yawn...
Posts: 16409
Threads: 127
Joined: July 10, 2013
Reputation: 65
#35
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 11:45 am
(November 12, 2021 at 1:32 am)Jackalope Wrote: We've secretly replaced the contents of your cabinets with - MURDER HORNETS!!1!

Whatever happened to murder hornets? I really thought they were going to be a bigger deal. They just didn't live up to the hype.
[Image: MmQV79M.png]  
                                      
Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#36
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 12:22 pm
(November 11, 2021 at 1:47 pm)arewethereyet Wrote: [Image: ydr6OJ6.jpg]

I would hide all the remotes.

There is an episode of "The Big Bang Theory, in the early seasons, where Sheldon got upset over how Penny kept her apartment. So he snuck in while she was asleep and cleaned her apartment.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
Anomalocaris Offline
Stem arthropod
*****
Religious Views: None
Posts: 19789
Threads: 57
Joined: September 24, 2010
Reputation: 85
#37
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 2:23 pm
Tranquilize them in their own homes, then detach their residence in its entirety from its foundation, truck it to a much worse part of the town, and set it back down on a new foundation.
Find
Reply
Fireball Offline
Refractory Member
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 9856
Threads: 21
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation: 79
#38
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 2:54 pm
[Image: 9V7SPKr.png]
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Find
Reply
Jackalope Away
Elon Musk owes me money
*******
Religious Views: Absent
Posts: 30974
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation: 141
#39
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 9:26 pm
(November 12, 2021 at 11:45 am)arewethereyet Wrote:
(November 12, 2021 at 1:32 am)Jackalope Wrote: We've secretly replaced the contents of your cabinets with - MURDER HORNETS!!1!

Whatever happened to murder hornets?  I really thought they were going to be a bigger deal.  They just didn't live up to the hype.

Every once in awhile we hear about a nest being found and destroyed in eastern Washington state.
Find
Reply
Fake Messiah Offline
Activist for Sin
*****
Religious Views: Prozac supplants exorcism
Posts: 16888
Threads: 461
Joined: March 29, 2015
Reputation: 30
#40
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 13, 2021 at 8:57 am
I would replace the paintings in the living room with my framed dick pics, then I would replace all of their toothbrushes with the ones made with my asshole hair, put seamen into the toothpaste, then have sex with their dog, replace the air in the party balloons with my farts, put pepper spray on their dildoes, stuck women's underpants between sofa cushions, replace their cow milk with breast milk, replace feathers in their pillows with navel fluff, replace the salt in the salt shaker with dandruff.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)