Friendship with religious people

[Thumpalumpacus]

I'm pretty cool with people not preaching. If they can't help themselves but to preach, they get sidelined with no lecture, argument, or drama. I just walk away.

If they believe but don't preach -- my sister is a great example -- it's all good. We understand that if one starts getting pushy the other has every right to push back, and because of our love we don't go there. Our love matters more than our beliefs.

[The Grand Nudger]

Do you think it's accurate to call some x a person's religious beliefs if they're capable of putting them aside - as opposed to considering them cultural beliefs with caveats?

[Angrboda]

I enjoy talking theology. The only drawback is believers tend to be dogmatic and inflexible in their thinking.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Do you think it's accurate to call some x a person's religious beliefs if they're capable of putting them aside - as opposed to considering them cultural beliefs with caveats?

I was raised a Southern Baptist. Many of my moral imperatives are, I'm certain, a direct result of that upbringing. For me, the difference is between cafeteria Christians who, like me, have absorbed some moral views, and those who believe that because it's written in the Good Book™ it must be true.

I remember Drich here defending slavery on a Biblical basis; that's the kind of guy who'll get my hackles up, using a human book to justify inhumanity. If someone just wants to say "I believe in Jesus" and not spew this social-control crap, well, great. I'm cool with cherry-pickers if they pick the right goddamned cherries.

If they're willing to put their own beliefs aside in the name of amity and goodwill, then, I don't know that it's religious, or if they're simply circumspect, and I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. But I do know that if they're trying to shove their dick down my throat, well, yeah, that's religion.

Most believers I know are not the latter type. Most I know are respectful. Those who aren't get told off; the majority are taken on their own qualities without regard to any faith they might have.

[The Grand Nudger]

That would suggest that most of the Christian’s you know are cultural, rather than religious, Christian’s. That dovetails well with their own shamans appraisal of the flock, as well as demographic polling of self identifiers.

[h311inac311]

I had a brief conversation with an old friend on team speak, he told me he was a luciferian, he also knew that I was a Christian and told me that most Christians he spoke with wound up surrendering their faith once they pressed in hard enough.

I found our conversation fascinating as I could tell where both of us stood, even though we were rivals I could still tell that he had some level of respect for my beliefs. After listening to him for quite some time he told me that if your only goal in a friendship is to convert someone to your side you can break their heart. Never did I feel that heartbreak until I started chatting with a mormon girl online. I thought she was cute and everything, but as soon as I found out she was an insurance salesman all of her friendliness felt fake.

I've tried to hide my religious views in certain contexts but it seems that by my behavior I always stick out.

[TheJefe817]

The political environment of the last several years gave me practice in dealing with this prior to deconversion, specifically with regard to my parents and the rest of the family.  In the same way that they never question their candidates/party regardless of how bat-shit crazy and inconsistent they are, they never seek out answers beyond the thing in a book that they believe.  The practice in politics led me to the conclusion that, unless someone approaches the subject with me with a genuine desire to have a discussion, I change the subject immediately or just remove myself from the conversation.  In the same way I lost a few friendships (which were not particularly worth saving in hindsight) over politics, I have managed not to lost any (yet - this is new to me) over religion.

[The Grand Nudger]

I've tried to hide my religious views in certain contexts but it seems that by my behavior I always stick out.

That's how religious beliefs work.  They represent our most deeply felt notions about right and wrong - so..it might be easy for you not to prattle on about jesus to a person who couldn't care less about jesus - but it would be completely impossible for you not to notice, mention, and act, on your religious beliefs.  The people around us discover our religious beliefs, or religious belief analogs, long before we divulge the contents of our superstitions (or lack thereof).

I doubt it's possible to have a genuine friendship with a person if you can't stand their religious beliefs, despite the relative ease of bonding with someone who holds this or that superstition. To use the example of another thread on the boards - if a person comes up to me and (inexplicably) says "Hey man, I believe in jesus". I'm like.."cool bro"...and that's that. If they follow that up with "and that's why I think we have to scourge the world of the sinful presence of homosexuality"... it's... "get fucked". It's the latter, amusingly, that qualifies as a religious belief. A comment on taboo, on moral community. People who believe in jesus are not, themselves, bound as a moral community on account of that.

It's useful to point out that western atheists and theists are very likely to be bound as a single moral community over lines like loving our brother, even though you can;t even expect christians to be bound as a moral community by their shared belief in christ. The authors of the nt had a genuine burst of insight to that effect, imo. "Look", they have their character intone "forget all of the rest of this shit - the fairy stories and the miracles....don't worry about me...just love your brother - the whole of the law." It establishes (or asserts) the sacredness of humanity - which is something people..being people..are super keen to assert.

[Orbit]

Friendship with Christians isn't a problem for me, but friendship with Evangelical Christians can't be done. Too much judgment and proselytizing. Friendship with Pagans and liberal Christians is a lot easier.