What (in your society) is a 'real man'?

[FrustratedFool]

I really don't care. I am a heterosexual male who only drinks a little (cannot remember the last time I was drunk, must be over 15 years ago) I have zero interest in sports (never watched a game of football or cricket in my life) some would say I'm not a real man, but that's their problem, I am happy with my life, approaching my 35th wedding aniversary (she must be crazy to put up with me!) what others think is just not important to me.

I think whether being 'not a real man' causes any personal bother likely depends on a few other factors. Age is a big one (young people probably care more than older folk). But also things like the prevalence of its application (being told very regularly is different to being told just every now and again), or the manner in which you are told (is it acting as an insult, a social rejection, a form of bullying etc?), where the message is coming from (parent, teachers, peers, church etc), and what actions accompany it.

I think it's easier for some to ignore social conditioning than others.

For me, I'm glad I can side-step the issue to a fair degree these days.

[no one]

A lot of real men are obsessed with balls, even though it's under the guise of sports.

They also have a strong desire for long, hard, thick shafts and or rods.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Maybe a ‘real man’ would be the single dad who works two jobs to make sure his kids are taken care of, or the divorced dad who never misses a child support payment or visitation with his kids.

Maybe a ‘real man’ is the guy who stops to help someone change a tire, when the stranded motorist isn’t a pretty 5’6” blonde with big boobs, or the bloke who mows his neighbour’s lawn for free because the neighbour is an elderly pensioner.

Or the ‘real man’ could be the one who doesn’t care about someone else’s gender, skin tone, accent, or sexual habits, as long as that someone is a good person.

A ‘real man’ doesn’t beat his kids or his wife, doesn’t abuse animals, understands that the woman who rejects him isn’t a lesbian, and doesn’t think there’s such a thing as ‘woman’s work’.

There’s a difference between ‘manliness’ and ‘machismo’.

Boru

[FrustratedFool]

Maybe a real man could be all kinds of things.
I'd also question whether the term an idea should exist at all anyway.

But at present, what a real man seems to me to be in my culture seems to be pretty much what I listed and carries a degree of influence.

[LinuxGal]

[Thumpalumpacus]

Yeah, the whole tough-guy/rugged individualist thing is certainly prevalent in the Texan culture I was raised in.

[The Valkyrie]

I can't link it by phone but I recommend the song "Real Men" by Joe Jackson.

[The Grand Nudger]

A duty to care and enough commitment to make something out of it.

[Fake Messiah]

Just like it is with a "real woman": it is open to interpretation.

[FrustratedFool]

Just like it is with a "real woman": it is open to interpretation.

Sure.
But there's a vague cultural consensus, at least where I live. Some things will clearly mark you as a 'real man' and some things will clearly put you outside of that set. And whether you fit in or out can affect how people treat you.

In your culture, what things would see as clearly belonging to in and out?