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Current time: November 4, 2024, 5:06 pm
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Trouble dealing with family about my unbelief
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King Derp.
 (May 2, 2011 at 5:22 pm)Rokcet Scientist Wrote: You'll never know, my friend, because you're too chicken to stick your nose in there to find out. So you'll continue to prejudge and assume, supported by your kinky imagination. Just like all the other believers. That's a pretty chicken shit comment to make about a fellow human, Rokcet. I disagree theologically with Fr0d0 as well and will deal with him without theological kitten gloves in the future, I'm sure, but I don't make statements that personally attack folks with whom I don't agree.
Our Daily Train blog at jeremystyron.com
--- We have lingered in the chambers of the sea | By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown | Till human voices wake us, and we drown. — T.S. Eliot "... man always has to decide for himself in the darkness, that he must want beyond what he knows. ..." — Simone de Beauvoir "As if that blind rage had washed me clean, rid me of hope; for the first time, in that night alive with signs and stars, I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world. Finding it so much like myself—so like a brother, really—I felt that I had been happy and that I was happy again." — Albert Camus, "The Stranger" ---   
H0ary H0bbit Religious Views: “Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.” - Edgar Allan Poe (May 2, 2011 at 5:22 pm)Rokcet Scientist Wrote: You'll never know, my friend, because you're too chicken to stick your nose in there to find out. So you'll continue to prejudge and assume, supported by your kinky imagination. Just like all the other believers.Mine isn't a baseless assertion Rocket. Yours is simply unsupportable. RE: Trouble dealing with family about my unbelief
May 10, 2011 at 4:44 am
(This post was last modified: May 10, 2011 at 4:45 am by Rainydays.)
That's a terrible ordeal. Fact is that hell (or heaven) is a strong psychological attack. It may not seem fair, but that's how it is. If your parents really believe that I see no way around it actually. You'll become one of the infamous ''living dead'' the Christians with ''fallen relatives'' speak of. Your parents will have to accept there are no huge ramifications, which may not be easy. Who knows, attacking their faith may make it worse and turn the situation hostile.
Also, don't be too hard on them. It's easy for us to say it's all bogus, but it doesn't work that way for them. At least they'd have to be really dishonest to be just pretending, so I won't assume that. It's a real shame it came out like this through facebook. I think all you can do now is keep the communication lines open. There is a sure way to close things down for good, if you use reasoning like this: Explain exactly why you think the way you do, but don't be overly attacking. Make sure to let them know it isn't that you don't want to believe it. Many Christians throw the ''choose God'' around these days, which is not helpful. It's childish, but if needed say you don't believe it anymore than you can fly or that there are invisible monkeys on Pluto. There is another way to approach it, but you must thread carefully. You understand where this is going. This is the ''victim scenario.'' Let your parents know you'd still believe, if you could. That is after all not a lie. (If it's true after all why not believe it?) Bite your tongue, hear your parents out. Take all the books they have and go to church with them. What is their general attitude if you stay the way you are? This will buy you time and more importantly it keeps the communication open. There are obvious downsides, because you will get people's hopes up and you might get sucked back into it. If you do, you can't ever bring it up again and then you're stuck with it. If you don't, you're back to scenario one. You know your parents best regarding views and communication, so the best of luck. It's probably not about who is right here, but what the most tolerable situation is. And don't ever use your real name online again if you're a closet atheist.  (May 2, 2011 at 5:19 pm)darkblight Wrote: it may sound like shallow but frankly I would just fake it for them. Maybe it's just me, but I think this is bad advice. Maybe it's just because I had to fake it for a while and even today I still feel like I have to be in the closet with my atheism, but I'm tired of not being able to be open with my lack of belief. I know that family is important, but it's not fair to us that we atheists have to hide our true beliefs because it offends or upsets our family members. We're not the ones who need to defend our beliefs. They're the ones who beleive in impossible things. They're the ones who think that everyone has to believe exactly what they believe. Atheists will never get any respect if we keep pretending that we believe what they believe in order to keep them happy.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
(May 10, 2011 at 9:33 am)Doubting Thomas Wrote: Maybe it's just me, but I think this is bad advice. Maybe it's just because I had to fake it for a while and even today I still feel like I have to be in the closet with my atheism, but I'm tired of not being able to be open with my lack of belief. Yeah, Thomas. I "faked it" for quite awhile before coming out ... playing on stage at church, believing and feeling nothing, telling my parents all that was going on at church, etc., etc. I just woke up one day and had enough. I got tired of faking it. That's why I came out. Faking it was the easy way to go, but I couldn't live with myself anymore.
Our Daily Train blog at jeremystyron.com
--- We have lingered in the chambers of the sea | By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown | Till human voices wake us, and we drown. — T.S. Eliot "... man always has to decide for himself in the darkness, that he must want beyond what he knows. ..." — Simone de Beauvoir "As if that blind rage had washed me clean, rid me of hope; for the first time, in that night alive with signs and stars, I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world. Finding it so much like myself—so like a brother, really—I felt that I had been happy and that I was happy again." — Albert Camus, "The Stranger" --- 
I guess honesty, forthrightness and open and honest questions (polemics / apologetics) weren't a part of your religious upbringing then. That's a real shame.
"There ought to be a term that would designate those who actually follow the teachings of Jesus, since the word 'Christian' has been largely divorced from those teachings, and so polluted by fundamentalists that it has come to connote their polar opposite: intolerance, vindictive hatred, and bigotry." -- Philip Stater, Huffington Post
always working on cleaning my windows- me regarding Johari |
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