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How often do you fart?

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How often do you fart?
Minimalist Offline Donators
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#11
RE: How often do you fart?
July 28, 2011 at 3:36 pm
(July 28, 2011 at 7:31 am)Rhythm Wrote: All day long, every day, in full public view and experience. If twenty minutes goes by without me farting, I'm probably getting a little uncomfortable.



I used to work with a guy like that. He could fart at a whim. Claimed that he "always had one in the chamber."
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Oldandeasilyconfused Offline
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#12
RE: How often do you fart?
July 28, 2011 at 8:24 pm
Quote:Obviously beans as well.

Cook them yourself, WITHOUT SALT.

What I REALLY hate is farting in bed while I'm watching TV, then lifting the quilt out of curiosity and deeply offending myself. I keep hoping for a fragrant one. No luck so far.Cool Shades
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Violet Offline
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#13
RE: How often do you fart?
July 28, 2011 at 8:36 pm
(July 28, 2011 at 8:24 pm)padraic Wrote:
Quote:Obviously beans as well.

Cook them yourself, WITHOUT SALT.

What I REALLY hate is farting in bed while I'm watching TV, then lifting the quilt out of curiosity and deeply offending myself. I keep hoping for a fragrant one. No luck so far.Cool Shades

Cook things myself? Haha... I have servants and slaves you know Sleepy

And whoever heard of eating an unsalted bean? That's just pointless Wink
Please give me a home where cloud buffalo roam
Where the dear and the strangers can play
Where sometimes is heard a discouraging word
But the skies are not stormy all day
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Oldandeasilyconfused Offline
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#14
RE: How often do you fart?
July 28, 2011 at 8:42 pm (This post was last modified: July 28, 2011 at 8:42 pm by Oldandeasilyconfused.)


No no no. You add the salt AFTER cooking. Cooking them with salt hardens the cellulose covering and causes flatulence.


I cook as much of my own food as possible from scratch,for the sake of my heath. Also because it's cheaper and I'm too mean to spit.Tiger
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Dotard Offline
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#15
RE: How often do you fart?
July 28, 2011 at 10:48 pm
(July 27, 2011 at 11:19 pm)padraic Wrote: How often do you fart?

Glad you asked! I must take a high fiber supplements and eat high fiber due to the amount of internal scar tissue I tote around.

I'm the proud bearer of an unusual talent. I can fart on que'. Seriously. I can.
Say "Hey Dotard! Rip one!" and I can deliver. Crazy, I know. But true.

Normal day consists of non stop explosive anal syndrome. Luckilly (<--is that a word?) I still possess the buns of steel to cage the beast.

Pitty the day I'm to old to due so.
I used to tell a lot of religious jokes. Not any more, I'm a registered sects offender.
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Shell B Offline
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#16
RE: How often do you fart?
July 29, 2011 at 12:33 am
Luckily is indeed a word. Smile
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Minimalist Offline Donators
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#17
RE: How often do you fart?
July 29, 2011 at 12:34 am
(July 29, 2011 at 12:33 am)Shell B Wrote: Luckily is indeed a word. Smile

However it would not apply to a guy standing downwind from you.
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A Theist Offline
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#18
RE: How often do you fart?
August 5, 2011 at 8:45 am
    The old gentleman sitting in the back row just farted. Let me tell you how it's all George Bush's fault.
"Inside every Liberal there's a Totalitarian screaming to get out"

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Quote: JohnDG...
Quote:It was an awful mistake to characterize based upon religion. I should not judge any theist that way, I must remember what I said in order to change.
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The Grand Nudger Offline
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#19
RE: How often do you fart?
August 5, 2011 at 8:58 am
A pentecostal christian that doesn't like Obama. Now who would have seen that coming?
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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#20
RE: How often do you fart?
August 5, 2011 at 10:48 am
Not nearly enough. Farting is fun.
Best regards,
Leo van Miert
Horsepower is how hard you hit the wall --Torque is how far you take the wall with you
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How often do you fart?

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