Beating Children

[Epimethean]

Hard to say, Shell. Not all parents are ready to get into heavy behavioral analysis or able to out-think their kids. I developed early on a respect for boundaries, because my dad was a badass. He was a mechanic and was one of the strongest human beings I have ever met. I knew when I crossed each line that I didn't want to make it a habit.

[Shell B]

Meh. Hitting kids is lazy and lacks creativity. That being said, this is what I got after saying criminals are legally protected from hitting and children are not "Would you suggest we give our kids 50 to life? A criminal is not a 2 year old. They are generally old enough to know better but choose to rape, murder and steal. Children call each other names, run into the street after their toys, and may give a parent a hard time about homework. Which one of those negative behaviors would warrant corporal punishment depends on the mitigating circumstances. If you honestly believe that criminals do not get beaten behind bars for raping, murdering and stealing demonstrates how naive you are. And making it ILLEGAL for a parent to choose corporal punishment is most certainly judgmental. If you don't want your child paddled cool. But you have no right taking that away from me if that is what I choose. Fair enough?"

So I guess because kids don't know better, you should hit them. Oh, and 50 to life is the only jail sentence ever. And . . . you can't take away a person's right to paddle their kids. I think the paddle part pisses me off the most. I forgot there is no difference between a legal and illegal beating in jail, either.

[KichigaiNeko]

You can't "get creative" nor reason with a two year old...but by golly by the time they are 5 or 7 years; they should know their boundaries and have no further need for 'corporal punishment'

[Shell B]

You can't "get creative" nor reason with a two year old.

Sure you can. Shut off whatever telecrack they are obsessed with at the moment, leave them to bawl their eyes out in a playpen and come back when they have learned their lesson.

I found that yelling was a great tool if you use it very sparingly. I rarely yell at any of the kids in my life, but you bet they listen when I do. I noticed kids ignore adults who yell all the time. There is no urgency to it if it is the norm.

[KichigaiNeko]

You can't "get creative" nor reason with a two year old.

Sure you can. Shut off whatever telecrack they are obsessed with at the moment, leave them to bawl their eyes out in a playpen and come back when they have learned their lesson.

And get reported to the authorities for child abuse and neglect.

I found that yelling was a great tool if you use it very sparingly. I rarely yell at any of the kids in my life, but you bet they listen when I do. I noticed kids ignore adults who yell all the time. There is no urgency to it if it is the norm.

Copying them is a great weapon...but you are STILL not reasoning with them.

[Shell B]

Sure you can. Shut off whatever telecrack they are obsessed with at the moment, leave them to bawl their eyes out in a playpen and come back when they have learned their lesson.

And get reported to the authorities for child abuse and neglect.

No way. You don't get reported for shutting off a t.v. and putting a kid in a playpen. I didn't say "leave the house and don't feed the child." You just let them cry it out after letting them know why they're being punished.

I found that yelling was a great tool if you use it very sparingly. I rarely yell at any of the kids in my life, but you bet they listen when I do. I noticed kids ignore adults who yell all the time. There is no urgency to it if it is the norm.

Copying them is a great weapon...but you are STILL not reasoning with them.

I'm confused by "copying them." I didn't say I copied them. Sorry, I must just be missing your meaning. As for reasoning with them, it is reasoning with them. I talk it out every time one of them fucks up. I start with a stern talking to, go to taking away belongings, next to corner or grounding, then I yell. They knock it off by the time I yell, typically long before. I have been known to give beloved toys to charity, if that doesn't work, though. I never punish without explaining details of why they are being punished. In fact, I think they hate that about me because I try to drill things into them.

Still, I am not saying a quick spanking that leaves no bruises is not often warranted. I am saying that excessive spanking with a paddle is beyond ridiculous. Also, that I can't do it. I have never spanked a child. Who knows? The day might come, but I cannot bring myself to do it.

[Rayaan]

I don't really know how to explain the line between between abuse and discipline, but for the most part, I'm against hitting children because there other ways to discipline them without inflicting any physical pain such as through body language and/or by talking to them.

I used to get hit by my parents sometimes because I was kind of a disobedient child and I used to weird things that pissed them off. It was still pretty rare, though. Most of the time they would just talk to me in a disciplinary manner with a mild level of anger perhaps. And when they did hit me, I don't think they ever hit me nor punished me in a way that caused me a lot of pain. Maybe the pain lasted for a few minutes, and then it went away, but the psychological effect of the spanking stayed with me much longer. So, I think this type of beating serves more as a psychological tool rather than a physical one. It basically conveys a message to me that they got very angry for what I have done. But it doesn't mean that they don't love me.

Is hitting children always the best solution? Certainly not as there are other methods of disciplining children which can have a more positive effect on them in the future. So, if or when I have any children of my own, I don't think I would ever hit them or abuse them physically (nor mentally).

Sometimes, even my younger brother used to punch me on my arm when he got mad at me for silly reasons, but I never hit him back.

[5thHorseman]

My opinion (one that I think matters, being that I have helped bring up 4 very different kids) is that smacking is acceptable occasionally with good reason, I have only ever smacked if the kids have been violent towards each other or a relative. It's worked with 3 of them, they now know the consequences of being nasty.

But with one of them, it didn't work. Best way for her is to put her on a 'naughty step' or just ignore her completely. I think it's all personality dependent.

Obviously 1 smack, not a beating.

[Cinjin]

I can't hit my son. I spanked him once (two smacks on his ass) and it felt wrong so I'll never do it again. Plus he learned nothing from it.

I have found he learns far far more from my inventive punishments. None of my punishments cause any physical pain whatsoever, as I am only trying to correct the unwanted behavior. and guess what - it works. I've been told I have one of the most well-behaved respectful 3-1/2 year olds ever.

Spanking is unnecessary. There are so many excellent ways to teach your children - and lets remember, that's what punishment is supposed to be - teaching.

These days, my son rarely throws a temper tantrum and when he does, it's short lived because he knows he's never going to get what he wants. I never back down and I never ever bluff.



I'm with you Shell B. Kids need discipline, structure and direction. Beatings encourage none of those things. IMO

[Epimethean]

I think there is no one right way. It worked in our family, and none of us came out sociopathic or violent, or fucked up in any major way.