I will try and make this as short as possible, without too much rambling...but I apologise if I do go on a bit about certain things.
I am a very open and honest person. I made a conscious decision quite a few years ago now that if anyone asked me a question I would not lie to them. I've had enough of being lied to in my life, I do not need to do it to others. I know how I feel when people do it to me, so I endeavor to be the kind of person I hope other people are.
My conversion to atheism took several years and a lot of pain on my part. My main concern with religion having such a grasp over our society is not one of science or truth vs fantasy, though those aspects of it are important to me, but my concern lies mostly in the social damage that many religions are doing.
Being blind, I have been the victim of one of religions most cruel aspects - false hope.
It depresses me to see so many other blind people following this entity who they believe will one day heal them, only to be disappointed time and time again by a god who just isn't there. I know how it feels. so many people prayed for me, fully believing that I would open my eyes and see only to find that it didn't work. Some believed it wasn't my time, some even pushed it back on me, saying I had little faith.
I did not grow up with religion, but I found it when I was 13 and in a position in my life to be taken advantage of.
I will explain a little, because I want you to understand just how sinister religion can be.
I was the child of 2 very neglectful parents. they were violent drug addicts for the most part. My father was incredibly abusive to my mother, who finally got up the courage to leave him when I was 12 years old. She did not take me with her, but left me with him.
With her gone, he took his frustrations out on the only person he could. I took it for a while, but I have a much stronger personality than my mother does, and I ran away just under a year later. Children's services [community services here] had a lot to do with our family, but they very very rarely take older children away because they have no resources to deal with them.
I had no faith in that system so I ran away and lived on the streets for just over 3 months, hiding from anyone who might come and find me. It was the lowest point of my life. I worked as a sex worker at age 13 because it meant a safe place to stay, food and money and a place to hide. I looked 16 years of age, even though I wasn't, and noone questioned it.
When I was pulled out of it all by a police officer, I was handed over to the Community Services. Fearing I would be sent back home, I refused, and demanded that the matter go to the family courts. I was removed from my father's custody after that and placed in the refuge system. I could not be fostered, as I had too much street sense and very few families wanted someone like me. Mostly they want younger children without a history like mine.
While living in the youth refuge system, I met members of the local christian church, and to someone who had few friends, noone to trust and felt like she didn't belong anywhere in life, it really was a salvation.
I tell you this not because I seek pity or attention, but because I want you to understand.
2 things I have since come to realise on reflection.
Firstly, that god is given way too much credit for the things that we do. After learning of my story, I was told by other church members that god had obviously been watching over me, taking care of me etc. Now for all the strong people in the world who face similar and worse situations that is a huge slap in the face and it doesn't take into consideration our own determination and ability. It's like we're these pathetic little people who wouldn't be here but for the grace of this so called god.
I am told constantly that 'god' has given me a beautiful voice. Never mind the years and years of training I have gone through to be able to sing the way I do....
Secondly, too much of what I once believed in was not backed up by any evidence whatsoever. I believed it purely because it made me feel better about who I had been. It made me feel less ashamed, because I had been forgiven. I didn't realise until much later that I needed no forgiveness for any of my actions as a child, because I was a child, and because I did them out of necessity. Why should I feel ashamed of surviving?
I was 18 or so when I finally came to these conclusions after a long stay in a psych ward after several suicide attempts. The realisation really woke me up as to who I was as a person, and that who I was was perfectly acceptable and that I didn't need to make excuses, lie, deceive or pretend to be different. It isn't about being reborn, it's about being who you are already.
I started reading, writing and composing, and I have never looked back. I made the decision a few weeks ago to be a more active atheist, mainly because I continually meet people like me, with backgrounds like mine who use them as a means of converting others to some form of religion. I do not blame them, because I was once like them and I know how they feel, but I want to use my life story to show people the beauty of coincidence.
I am a very open and honest person. I made a conscious decision quite a few years ago now that if anyone asked me a question I would not lie to them. I've had enough of being lied to in my life, I do not need to do it to others. I know how I feel when people do it to me, so I endeavor to be the kind of person I hope other people are.
My conversion to atheism took several years and a lot of pain on my part. My main concern with religion having such a grasp over our society is not one of science or truth vs fantasy, though those aspects of it are important to me, but my concern lies mostly in the social damage that many religions are doing.
Being blind, I have been the victim of one of religions most cruel aspects - false hope.
It depresses me to see so many other blind people following this entity who they believe will one day heal them, only to be disappointed time and time again by a god who just isn't there. I know how it feels. so many people prayed for me, fully believing that I would open my eyes and see only to find that it didn't work. Some believed it wasn't my time, some even pushed it back on me, saying I had little faith.
I did not grow up with religion, but I found it when I was 13 and in a position in my life to be taken advantage of.
I will explain a little, because I want you to understand just how sinister religion can be.
I was the child of 2 very neglectful parents. they were violent drug addicts for the most part. My father was incredibly abusive to my mother, who finally got up the courage to leave him when I was 12 years old. She did not take me with her, but left me with him.
With her gone, he took his frustrations out on the only person he could. I took it for a while, but I have a much stronger personality than my mother does, and I ran away just under a year later. Children's services [community services here] had a lot to do with our family, but they very very rarely take older children away because they have no resources to deal with them.
I had no faith in that system so I ran away and lived on the streets for just over 3 months, hiding from anyone who might come and find me. It was the lowest point of my life. I worked as a sex worker at age 13 because it meant a safe place to stay, food and money and a place to hide. I looked 16 years of age, even though I wasn't, and noone questioned it.
When I was pulled out of it all by a police officer, I was handed over to the Community Services. Fearing I would be sent back home, I refused, and demanded that the matter go to the family courts. I was removed from my father's custody after that and placed in the refuge system. I could not be fostered, as I had too much street sense and very few families wanted someone like me. Mostly they want younger children without a history like mine.
While living in the youth refuge system, I met members of the local christian church, and to someone who had few friends, noone to trust and felt like she didn't belong anywhere in life, it really was a salvation.
I tell you this not because I seek pity or attention, but because I want you to understand.
2 things I have since come to realise on reflection.
Firstly, that god is given way too much credit for the things that we do. After learning of my story, I was told by other church members that god had obviously been watching over me, taking care of me etc. Now for all the strong people in the world who face similar and worse situations that is a huge slap in the face and it doesn't take into consideration our own determination and ability. It's like we're these pathetic little people who wouldn't be here but for the grace of this so called god.
I am told constantly that 'god' has given me a beautiful voice. Never mind the years and years of training I have gone through to be able to sing the way I do....
Secondly, too much of what I once believed in was not backed up by any evidence whatsoever. I believed it purely because it made me feel better about who I had been. It made me feel less ashamed, because I had been forgiven. I didn't realise until much later that I needed no forgiveness for any of my actions as a child, because I was a child, and because I did them out of necessity. Why should I feel ashamed of surviving?
I was 18 or so when I finally came to these conclusions after a long stay in a psych ward after several suicide attempts. The realisation really woke me up as to who I was as a person, and that who I was was perfectly acceptable and that I didn't need to make excuses, lie, deceive or pretend to be different. It isn't about being reborn, it's about being who you are already.
I started reading, writing and composing, and I have never looked back. I made the decision a few weeks ago to be a more active atheist, mainly because I continually meet people like me, with backgrounds like mine who use them as a means of converting others to some form of religion. I do not blame them, because I was once like them and I know how they feel, but I want to use my life story to show people the beauty of coincidence.