I feel like I want to hug you right now.

Aww, thanks. But why?

I'm with you, FNM. I share your pain.

I have been largely asymptomatic in the 4 1/2 years I've been on AF, but in the last couple of months the illness has returned. I don't have the words to express what is happening inside my head. Clinically, it's a storm of depression, anxiety, and hypomania but that somehow doesn't provide an adequate description.

As far as the writing goes, I wouldn't worry too much about the warts. It's representative of where you are at right now.

Hang in there, brotha. You are not alone. I'm in the middle of quitting my heavy drinking right now, and am dealing with emotions I've been anesthetizing for years. I'm coming to grips with the fact that too often I've been an asshole to the people I love, and that I don't like that guy one bit -- but I am terrified at times of leaving behind my old self. And at other times, I loathe myself for who I've been. I know I cannot be that guy any more, ever again. But I don't know who I can be, and that scares the shit out of me.

I imagine the chrysalis wonders exactly what the fuck is going on at the moment of molting, too.

I'm not diagnosed nor prescribed, but what I'm going through in my own life is definitely giving me insight. I know how emotionally unbalanced I feel right now, even as I now that it is almost surely a temporary phase. I can only imagine how awful it must be to have to live with it days unending.

You're not alone, brotha. Drop a PM or give me a call if you ever need to talk.

Thanks, guys, but I think the point may have been missed a bit. I wasn't posting this to focus on my issues personally. I just wanted to used them as example of what I struggle with and to stand up and say that I am mentally ill. I appreciate the kind words, as times are rough right now, but I really was hoping to be part of the bigger picture when it comes to the stigmas in mental health and how that affects our laws and culture.

People are afraid to admit to something that millions of people suffer from, and that is a sad fact to digest. If people don't blow the lid off of these stigmas by standing up and saying "this is who I am, not the person you believe me to be," nothing is ever going to change. We will be seen as weaklings with character flaws, not people with legitimate illness.

I want to show the true faces of mental illness.

ETA: What I should have said is that I am one of millions of faces of mental illness.

I am also mentally ill. I've suffered with serious depression for 8+ years now. I've battled suicidal thoughts and only just come out unscathed. The fight is far from over, and my depression looms in the background looking for any opportunity to attack again. I'm on a very high dose of anti-depressants and I wouldn't be able to mentally function without them.

(December 29, 2015 at 12:11 pm)Faith No More Wrote: I've put a picture of myself along with a journal entry I just wrote to kind of personalize the whole thing and kind of give you a glimpse as to what I experience, while also giving you a face to put with it, in order to say "damn the stigmas, this is who I am and what I deal with."  

So I was kind of looking for suggestions or feedback from people here.

I think it could be helpful to someone experiencing depression for the first time to realize that, though not welcome, it is something with which one can cope.  It might also help people who have never experienced clinical depression to realize that it really is an illness which can at times overwhelm those who deal with it, but that there are those who can work around it too.

(December 29, 2015 at 1:55 pm)Faith No More Wrote: Thanks, guys, but I think the point may have been missed a bit.  I wasn't posting this to focus on my issues personally.  I just wanted to used them as example of what I struggle with and to stand up and say that I am mentally ill.  I appreciate the kind words, as times are rough right now, but I really was hoping to be part of the bigger picture when it comes to the stigmas in mental health and how that affects our laws and culture.

People are afraid to admit to something that millions of people suffer from, and that is a sad fact to digest.  If people don't blow the lid off of these stigmas by standing up and saying "this is who I am, not the person you believe me to be," nothing is ever going to change.  We will be seen as weaklings with character flaws, not people with legitimate illness.

I want to show the true faces of mental illness.

ETA:  What I should have said is that I am one of millions of faces of mental illness.

I get what you're saying. When my ex- took a job working as a job coach for the mentally disabled (both developmentally and psychologically disabled), I had to reexamine my assumptions and cast off my stereotypes. And I guess what I was getting at with my above post was that even so, it's hard for the non-afflicted to understand mental imbalance until we suffer a taste of it ourselves.