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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
I'm a theist. So why can't I bring myself to believe in the religious horseshit?

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I'm a theist. So why can't I bring myself to believe in the religious horseshit?
Edwardo Piet Away
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#1
I'm a theist. So why can't I bring myself to believe in the religious horseshit?
February 5, 2016 at 1:41 pm
Turns out it's pretty hard to believe in bullshit when your psyche recognizes that it's a load of bullshit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RT6rL2UroE

After watching the video, my questions are:

Why on FSM's spaghetti covered body is my turtley brain not wired for faith when I'm patently a theist desperate to believe in religious horseshit? I prayed to "God" but he just won't let me believe in his shitty nonsense... PLEASE HELP

Is it possible that God DIDN'T give me a brain that is pre-wired for receptivity to "His" existence to make it more difficult for my turtley self to believe in his relgious horseshit?

P.S. I'm not a theist. But other than that this is the gosh darn it truth. Hmmm. Hang on I'm not against swearing: Other than that this is the ABSOLUTE FUCK-BASTARDING TRUTH.
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Nay_Sayer Offline
I Say Nay!
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#2
RE: I'm a theist. So why can't I bring myself to believe in the religious horseshit?
February 5, 2016 at 2:33 pm
FSM works in mysterious ways.
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming"  -The Prophet Boiardi-

      Conservative trigger warning.
[Image: s-l640.jpg]
                                                                                         
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Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
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#3
RE: I'm a theist. So why can't I bring myself to believe in the religious horseshit?
February 5, 2016 at 2:38 pm
Joe Pesci would kick jesus' ass.
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Edwardo Piet Away
Devil's Supercardo.
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#4
RE: I'm a theist. So why can't I bring myself to believe in the religious horseshit?
February 5, 2016 at 2:51 pm
And Jesus would get off on it. Pent up little virgin that he is.

He somehow got Mary pregnant so she could give birth to him without Mary losing her virginity. So I was wondering..... Maybe Jesus' father (who was also Jesus somehow) just went to the clinic and left a sample or something and then Mary visited it?
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drfuzzy Offline
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#5
RE: I'm a theist. So why can't I bring myself to believe in the religious horseshit?
February 5, 2016 at 3:58 pm
[Image: 5a14b5c140bf653837e8b4aba087a545.jpg]
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
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#6
RE: I'm a theist. So why can't I bring myself to believe in the religious horseshit?
February 6, 2016 at 1:39 am
Everybody. please, have some respect!

[Image: ypesu.jpg]
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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ApeNotKillApe Offline
Goalpost chaperone
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#7
RE: I'm a theist. So why can't I bring myself to believe in the religious horseshit?
February 6, 2016 at 1:42 am
Smug laughter.
I am John Cena's hip-hop album.
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Edwardo Piet Away
Devil's Supercardo.
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#8
RE: I'm a theist. So why can't I bring myself to believe in the religious horseshit?
February 6, 2016 at 1:43 am
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxuogzZQ2tM
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robvalue Offline
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#9
RE: I'm a theist. So why can't I bring myself to believe in the religious horseshit?
February 6, 2016 at 3:46 am
Being "wired for faith" is nothing like having a house with wires connecting up your TV so you can watch it. It's like having wires that don't meet up, so your TV isn't connected to anything, but you still "watch" it and convince yourself you're seeing something other than a blank screen.
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Edwardo Piet Away
Devil's Supercardo.
Religious Views: Atheistic panexperientialism
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#10
RE: I'm a theist. So why can't I bring myself to believe in the religious horseshit?
February 6, 2016 at 3:48 am
In other words it's boring as fuck? Big Grin
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
I'm a theist. So why can't I bring myself to believe in the religious horseshit?

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