(May 10, 2016 at 2:44 am)robvalue Wrote:

(May 9, 2016 at 11:26 pm)Mamacita Wrote: I'm feeling tired, hungry, sleepy, and slightly interested in a cuddle, but that's so not hardcore and I will deny it until the day I die. In fact, I didn't type this. A mod changed my post. Damn you, mods!

Sending you lots of hugs sis Yeah, that was me, so I could have another hug with someone

I'm struggling the last few days. I'm going through a dip with my ME, and my depression was hitting me hard yesterday. I did get some enjoyment out of my day out yesterday, we had a lovely walk with our dog and my wife's parents, but the clutches of depression were tainting everything. It's not fair on Emma either, but she's amazingly understanding. I need loads of cuddles too, especially when I'm depressed, more than I can realistically expect one person to give. I'm a very affectionate person, and I crave affection too. I do tell Emma that it's my problem, I can't expect her to be pandering to me all the time, especially when life is so busy and hard for her living with me.

It's so hard when it feels like the bottom falls out. There's no particular reason my mood drops, it just does, and it's almost impossible to get it back. All I can do is wait it out and try to stop myself feeling worse. It leaves me vulnerable to the mental tricks of my depression, as it tries to twist reality by mixing a grain of truth with a ton of horse shit. Even when I can logically see through its games, the emotional power behind them make it hard to believe my own reasoning.

It's hard to say how I feel this morning. Anxious that I'm still going to feel depressed when I get up and do things. I really hope not, Emma has another day off and I want to enjoy it with her. I feel guilty that I have a wonderful wife yet I still feel this way.

It helps to have you guys here so I can pour my heart out, thank you

Ugh, so sorry Rob. . I know how it feels when you're aware of the fact that your negative emotions are artificial, but still cannot will them away. Well, I guess not artificial, but simply chemical in nature without any substantial reasons for them. Knowing that fact does not lessen the blows they deliver. It's good to hear that you are at least self aware of their insidious nature. Do your best to hunker down and wait it out. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you! ::hugs:: <3

(May 10, 2016 at 11:41 am)LadyForCamus Wrote:

(May 10, 2016 at 12:38 am)Excited Penguin Wrote: That's exactly what he specifically didn't ask for, the absence of it. Try telling him it's equanimity instead, you can take the credit, I won't tell, Mr. "Writer".

Whoa, wtf?  Penguin, you on your period or something?

He was born with a stick up his ass ... I already know to not rate his opinions or advice highly.

Thank you very much LFC

Yes, I think of depressed feelings as not coming from the "true" part of myself, they are being caused by some sort of malfunction. Yet these thoughts try very hard to convince me that they are from my true self, and that I've always felt that way.

I'm still shaky but more settled than yesterday. Emma has taken good care of me

Honestly? sad. Really hurts to see my girlfriend as upset as she is lately. :c

I'm sorry to hear that

What is upsetting her?

(May 10, 2016 at 12:50 pm)robvalue Wrote: I'm sorry to hear that

What is upsetting her?

Parents just split up :c

Eesh, sorry Jello. It's hard to know what to say to a person in that situation. Just be there for her.

I think fulfilled might be the opposite of desperate. I think apathetic is the absence but equaniminous and complacent are all quite passive in nature. I think desperation is not just the abscence of but the lack of fulfilment. I think fulfilment involves drive and ambition like desperate but it's the opposite pole. On the other hand fulfilled can merely be satisfied which has the same problems as an opposite as complacent does...

What about enthusiasm? It's like desperation but rather than the absence it has opposite emotional energy?

Isn't being enthusiastic about something like the positive version of desperation?

I guess one could argue that perhaps the absence *is* the opposite

(May 10, 2016 at 7:14 pm)SteelCurtain Wrote: Eesh, sorry Jello. It's hard to know what to say to a person in that situation. Just be there for her.

Yeah... I'm trying to be there and help but i feel useless

Hughhhhh..hhhhhhuh huh huh.....

Aghhhhhhhhh!!!

Heh heh...That was groaning, then screaming. Very unsettled and uneasy.
Don't know why exactly. 

I guess I'll figure it, or it'll pass. Now, if you'll excuse me......

Hughhhhhhhhhhhh......