Oh boy, your brother Owen is incredibly talented Evie! Those are amazing

I've got a very gifted artistic brother too, while I can barely draw stick men. My other brother is also pretty good.

(June 1, 2016 at 1:23 am)Losty Wrote: Trying to pep talk myself out of drowning in a see of hopelessness. Come on, Rob Losty, you can do this.

Oh Losty, I know that feeling all too well! You can always message me on Skype if you need someone to talk to

(June 1, 2016 at 1:00 am)Mamacita Wrote:

(June 1, 2016 at 12:13 am)robvalue Wrote: Oh wow sis I hope with all my heart that you'll be okay

Thanks, bro. Muah!

(June 1, 2016 at 12:25 am)SteelCurtain Wrote: Well, I'm not a doctor at all and this could be WAY off base, but if it hasn't appreciably worsened in 7 months, maybe it's not terrible news. I sincerely hope you're okay, though. Whatever it is, we're here for you in whatever way we can be.

Thanks, man. Hope you're right!

Do you know what your bp is like? I tend to get similar issues when my bp drops below 85/60 ish.

(June 1, 2016 at 1:26 am)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:

(June 1, 2016 at 1:23 am)Losty Wrote: Trying to pep talk myself out of drowning in a see of hopelessness. Come on, Rob Losty, you can do this.

You can do this. You can.

And you will.  

(June 1, 2016 at 1:32 am)robvalue Wrote:

(June 1, 2016 at 1:23 am)Losty Wrote: Trying to pep talk myself out of drowning in a see of hopelessness. Come on, Rob Losty, you can do this.

Oh Losty, I know that feeling all too well! You can always message me on Skype if you need someone to talk to

Thanks gentlemen.

Life becomes exhausting sometimes. I'm usually ok though. Just suck at finding constant contentedness. I wonder if such a thing even exists.

(June 1, 2016 at 1:53 am)Losty Wrote: Thanks gentlemen.

Life becomes exhausting sometimes. I'm usually ok though. Just suck at finding constant contentedness. I wonder if such a thing even exists.

I don't think it does, hon. I know that for myself my emotions are like a sine-wave, and not a regular one. Especially once I entered recovery in January, my feelings were all over the goddamned place, because I'd stopped anaesthetizing them. They still have more travel than I'm used to -- I've spent a lot of time, money, and brain-cells fogging them out -- so I'm still learning to deal with them. Contentedness happens sometimes (glad to report that tonight was one of those times), but it is not and I doubt it ever will be constant.

From a lyric I wrote about 30 years ago:


That's not criticism, Lost One. But it speaks to a core belief of mine, which is that happiness can be decided-upon. In my recovery, I've started assembling a toolbox of methods I use to steer my emotions to a happy place: mindfulness (which is basically observing the act of feeling emotions from an objective viewpoint ["Okay, I'm feeling sad. Why? Is this something I need to think about right now?"]), gratitude, and understanding the limits of control I have in life, even over my own feelings, and knowing that even though I may not be able to control them, I can decide on whether or not I want to address them, and if so, at the appropriate time when my mental outlook is more likely to produce a result which comports to my goal.

This is a long-winded way of saying that sometimes I have to pick the time and place of my battles, and refuse to offer battle on terrain not favorable to my own mental well-being.

Hey if even I feel crappy sometimes, constant ain't possible, because I'm happy as Larry on acid without side effects .

(June 1, 2016 at 2:08 am)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:

(June 1, 2016 at 1:53 am)Losty Wrote: Thanks gentlemen.

Life becomes exhausting sometimes. I'm usually ok though. Just suck at finding constant contentedness. I wonder if such a thing even exists.

I don't think it does, hon. I know that for myself my emotions are like a sine-wave, and not a regular one. Especially once I entered recovery in January, my feelings were all over the goddamned place, because I'd stopped anaesthetizing them. They still have more travel than I'm used to -- I've spent a lot of time, money, and brain-cells fogging them out -- so I'm still learning to deal with them.  Contentedness happens sometimes (glad to report that tonight was one of those times), but it is not and I doubt it ever will.

From a lyric I wrote about 30 years ago:

You don't want to feel too satisfied,
or lose the edge that makes you alive,
but you're fooling yourself, and that's for sure,
when you're looking for problems but no cure.

That's not criticism, Lost One. But it speaks to a core belief of mine, which is that happiness can be decided-upon. In my recovery, I've started assembling a toolbox of methods I use to steer my emotions to a happy place: mindfulness (which is basically observing the act of feeling emotions from and objective viewpoint ["Okay, I'm feeling sad. Why? Is this something I need to think about right now?"]), gratitude, and understanding the limits of control I have in life, even over my own feelings, and knowing that even though I may not be able to control them, I can decide on whether or not I want to address them, and if so, at the appropriate time when my mental outlook is more likely to produce a result which comports to my goal.

This is a long-winded way of saying that sometimes I have to pick the time and place of my battles, and refuse to offer battle on terrain not favorable to my own mental well-being.

It's so much easier to agree normally. In the rare moment (which has lasted at least a couple days now) I just think...choosing to be happy? Ha. Sounds more like choosing to lie to myself. I keep stepping back and looking at my life like fuuuuuck this. But I know it's only temporary. This will pass. This coming school year has a lot of new and exciting adventure for my life. I'll be fine. It's just...in this moment, I'm not. Oh well

(June 1, 2016 at 2:44 am)Losty Wrote: It's so much easier to agree normally. In the rare moment (which has lasted at least a couple days now) I just think...choosing to be happy? Ha. Sounds more like choosing to lie to myself. I keep stepping back and looking at my life like fuuuuuck this. But I know it's only temporary. This will pass. This coming school year has a lot of new and exciting adventure for my life. I'll be fine. It's just...in this moment, I'm not. Oh well

I get what you're saying -- it does sound pie-in-the-sky when the black dog is biting. I don't know if it would work for you, but I can only say it works for me, even when, such as a couple of weeks ago, despondency was threatening yet another hostile takeover.

For me, it really is about focus -- what I choose to focus on affects my moods almost inside the moment.

My buddy Radar, who as an AAer with three decades of sobriety is a guy I lean on when the shit gets thick, gave me some great advice once -- "When you start thinking about this problem that you're having trouble getting around, make an appointment with it. Tell it, 'Okay, we do need to address this, but I'm busy right now, so I will come back to this thought at one AM', or whatever time you think works. Often, when one AM rolls around, you'll find that it isn't so big as you had thought."

It doesn't always work for me, but in concert with the other tools I bring to bear on an issue, it's an important component.

This will indeed pass. And you can indeed take positive steps to speed up that process.

(June 1, 2016 at 1:25 am)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:

(May 31, 2016 at 1:16 am)Thena323 Wrote: I think I have RLS. Strange, tight, somewhat dull, continual ache in my legs; can't relax them, can't sleep.
Rubbing them's only making my arms hurt! Arghhh...

That must suck. Anything you can take for it that doesn't have forty-four seconds of quickly-spoken side-effects including "possibly death"?

Or you could come down here for a leg-rub.  I'm told I'm pretty good at that sort of thing ...

Yeah, I've got some stuff that I seem to tolerate well enough. Can't take it too late AND be alert and focused at work, though. And I really don't want to make a habit of taking it when the pain isn't actually bothering me. Most of the time, they feel fine.

I don't doubt those manly, guitar-playing hands of yours can work magic on some lady-legs, though. 
Too bad you're in Texas.