(September 23, 2016 at 4:23 pm)ApeNotKillApe Wrote:

(September 23, 2016 at 3:38 pm)Alasdair Ham Wrote: I need to talk. If it wasn't online I'd go out talking to random people but I wouldn't feel fulfilled without developing strong bonds... and to do that I'd have to find a nice and trustworthy person in RL who isn't too busy and I can't find people like that, at least I never have yet.

I don't naturally come with that 'chit-chat' thing most people are equipped with, simply can't generate conversation like that, unless you've genuinely peaked my interest. I generally don't have anything to say, and I certainly don't just talk to random people.

I used to be the same

I didn't do small talk

(September 23, 2016 at 6:55 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: Hammy, you don't type like you have assburgers. hehehehe

How do assburgers people type?

My typing style changes whenever I start to feel uncomfortable with it. When I don't like my comfort zone anymore I change it... but I try to keep it indefinitely. Just usually something happens or fails to happen that spoils it.

Or I see someone else's typing style and I'm like "I like the way they type better than the way I type" and I find myself unconsciously copying how they write.

I think I have assburgers but I try to flip them regularly....

(September 23, 2016 at 7:14 pm)BrokenQuill92 Wrote: I will say this,  make sure you don't have any sort of neurological disorders first. I went thirteen years without treatment for hydrocephalus because my doctors were  convinced I was an Aspie with bipolar. Turns out you act a bit weird when your brain is slowly drowning in your own fluids. So just be sure to check all avenues before accepting a diagnosis. Better safe than sorry.

I appreciate that. However surely if it was something like that I'd have gotten worse over time rather than better?

I've also had a brain scan before. Would it show up on a brain scan?

(September 23, 2016 at 10:15 pm)Irrational Wrote:

(September 23, 2016 at 1:55 pm)Alasdair Ham Wrote: Anyone here know much about Aspergers Syndrome? It's something I may get diagnosed with soon. I've already been tested by a neuropsych before and I've done a small questionaire and online tests... but no full diagnosis yet but I'll be getting an asssessment and a positive or negative result on a diagnosis in a few weeks time.

So yeah, anyone here know much about it?

Yep, here. Psychology major and someone with Asperger's. Let me know what you want to know exactly. Haven't checked the whole thread yet.

Okay...

Obsessions with rules.

Obessions with narrow interests.

Analyzing the hell out of those narrow interests and wanting to know everyhing about them.

Seeing all my favorite music and foods as all good or all bad.

Loving my comfort zones until they change. They change when my obsessions with my 'mental rules' change. Those change either back and forth quickly when I'm anxious or suddenly and dramatically which makes me depressed until I find new rules to comfort me and keep me in my comfort zone.

So I want to know if any of this seems rather Aspie to you?

ETA and P.S. I like you an awful, awful lot you're not irrational at all but I've seen your explanation for your username and the explanation and motivation behind it is very like my own justifications for my own online usernames (in the past... lately my usernames have been given to me by other people... which is kind of neat because it prevents me from changing it over and over when it no longer fits my 'mental rules' and I no longer feel justified).

Oh P.P.S:

I feel like if I deeply know something to be true but I can't explain why it's true I can't allow myself to believe it until I can explain it to myself.... I also then feel compelled to explain it to others to help justify it and to make myself feel more secure. Also because I love debate.

For example, well, this is going to be very abstract but I'm a very abstract person, don't know what else to call it if not an example though:

When it comes to logically sound premises that are sound and intuitively are obviously true to me.... I don't actually allow myself to accept those premises until I can find valid arguments or valid evidence for them. I need validity. Intuition for what is sound and "just makes sense to me", is not enough at all. I won't allow it. I have to scrutinise for that validity and I feel compelled by this.

I have an extremely deep desire to understand myself and others basically, so I have to know WHY something is true not just THAT it is true otherwise I'll be like "nope, can't be true yet... without knowing why I don't truly know it"

If i can't know why something is true my brain quickly finds reasons to see the falsehood in it.

It's an epistemology. Anyone who says they "know" without knowing why or rather... HOW they know, to me, doesn't really know. Knowledge is absolute. And understanding implies knowledge.... to me understanding is knowledge + comprehension of information.

Anyway, yeah, so any of this seem Aspie to you?

(September 23, 2016 at 4:23 pm)ApeNotKillApe Wrote:

(September 23, 2016 at 3:38 pm)Alasdair Ham Wrote: I need to talk. If it wasn't online I'd go out talking to random people but I wouldn't feel fulfilled without developing strong bonds... and to do that I'd have to find a nice and trustworthy person in RL who isn't too busy and I can't find people like that, at least I never have yet.

I don't naturally come with that 'chit-chat' thing most people are equipped with, simply can't generate conversation like that, unless you've genuinely peaked my interest. I generally don't have anything to say, and I certainly don't just talk to random people.

I had a pretty big 180 turn in this aspect.

Up to the age of about 26 I've never been conversational unless it was about a specific interest of mine.

Now I feel like I want to talk to everyone about everything and in work I usually do if I'm given the chance and there's no language barrier.

but I still don't like talking in groups and I hate a party atmosphere.

(September 24, 2016 at 3:04 am)paulpablo Wrote:

(September 23, 2016 at 4:23 pm)ApeNotKillApe Wrote: I don't naturally come with that 'chit-chat' thing most people are equipped with, simply can't generate conversation like that, unless you've genuinely peaked my interest. I generally don't have anything to say, and I certainly don't just talk to random people.

I had a pretty big 180 turn in this aspect.

Up to the age of about 26 I've never been conversational unless it was about a specific interest of mine.

Now I feel like I want to talk to everyone about everything and in work I usually do if I'm given the chance and there's no language barrier.

but I still don't like talking in groups and I hate a party atmosphere.

I've certainly only become conversational more recently too.

ETA: More recently meaning in the last few years.

(September 24, 2016 at 3:01 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote:

(September 23, 2016 at 10:15 pm)Irrational Wrote: Yep, here. Psychology major and someone with Asperger's. Let me know what you want to know exactly. Haven't checked the whole thread yet.

Okay...

Obsessions with rules.

Obessions with narrow interests.

Analyzing the hell out of those narrow interests and wanting to know everyhing about them.

Seeing all my favorite music and foods as all good or all bad.

Loving my comfort zones until they change. They change when my obsessions with my 'mental rules' change. Those change either back and forth quickly when I'm anxious or suddenly and dramatically which makes me depressed until I find new rules to comfort me and keep me in my comfort zone.

So I want to know if any of this seems rather Aspie to you?

ETA and P.S. I like you an awful, awful lot you're not irrational at all but I've seen your explanation for your username and the explanation and motivation behind it is very like my own justifications for my own online usernames (in the past... lately my usernames have been given to me by other people... which is kind of neat because it prevents me from changing it over and over when it no longer fits my 'mental rules' and I no longer feel justified).

Oh P.P.S:

I feel like if I deeply know something to be true but I can't explain why it's true I can't allow myself to believe it until I can explain it to myself.... I also then feel compelled to explain it to others to help justify it and to make myself feel more secure. Also because I love debate.

For example, well, this is going to be very abstract but I'm a very abstract person, don't know what else to call it if not an example though:

When it comes to logically sound premises that are sound and intuitively are obviously true to me.... I don't actually allow myself to accept those premises until I can find valid arguments or valid evidence for them. I need validity. Intuition for what is sound and "just makes sense to me", is not enough at all. I won't allow it. I have to scrutinise for that validity and I feel compelled by this.

I have an extremely deep desire to understand myself and others basically, so I have to know WHY something is true not just THAT it is true otherwise I'll be like "nope, can't be true yet... without knowing why I don't truly know it"

If i can't know why something is true my brain quickly finds reasons to see the falsehood in it.

It's an epistemology. Anyone who says they "know" without knowing why or rather... HOW they know, to me, doesn't really know. Knowledge is absolute. And understanding implies knowledge.... to me understanding is knowledge + comprehension of information.

Anyway, yeah, so any of this seem Aspie to you?

Well, speaking from my own personal experience, and not as a professional, they do seem like they may be pointing to something like Asperger's, but it's hard to tell when I don't really know you and I've never had to observe your body language and how you interact with people in social situations.

I can relate to the abstract part. It probably means you're more at ease in your inner world than when you interact with the outer world. But this sounds more like an introvert vs. extravert thingy, rather than Aspie vs. NT (neurotypical). While there may be a strong correlation between introversion and being on the autism spectrum, there are people on the spectrum who are extraverts as well.

The narrow interest part, I can also relate to. But let me ask you this, for more clarity: Do you find yourself rather uninterested in certain social topics , that other people tend to be interested in, to the point that you have almost zero motivation to learn anything about them? And I'm not talking mathematics or rocket science or anything of the sort, but rather casual topics that are meant to be common topics for discussion in social groups. For example, maybe cooking, or house prices, or whatever.

What about how you behave socially? Have people made comments about how awkward you tend to be socially (e.g., lack of eye contact, lack of social smile, standing up/sitting down in an abnormal manner, selective muteness, etc.)?

I mean, maybe you have a comorbidity of a couple of conditions, one of which is Asperger's, or maybe it's just OC. Hard to tell online. Hopefully, your psychiatrist/psychologist will inform you of the needed results soon. But happy to continue this exchange with you if you want.

EDIT: I like you too, Alasdair. You're a really sweet guy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIDx96vraYo

(September 24, 2016 at 3:59 am)Irrational Wrote: Well, speaking from my own personal experience, and not as a professional, they do seem like they may be pointing to something like Asperger's

Yes I think so too.

Quote:, but it's hard to tell when I don't really know you and I've never had to observe your body language and how you interact with people in social situations.

Understood

Quote:I can relate to the abstract part. It probably means you're more at ease in your inner world than when you interact with the outer world. But this sounds more like an introvert vs. extravert thingy, rather than Aspie vs. NT (neurotypical). While there may be a strong correlation between introversion and being on the autism spectrum, there are people on the spectrum who are extraverts as well.

Yes and I'm extravert in the sense that talking to others energizes me. I'm socially anxious to please and be liked and I like to be alone in RL where I am safe from oppressive people (and even the average person feels oppressive to me, I feel compelled to say "yes" and I ask permission for things when most people would not, a lot).

Quote:The narrow interest part, I can also relate to. But let me ask you this, for more clarity: Do you find yourself rather uninterested in certain social topics , that other people tend to be interested in, to the point that you have almost zero motivation to learn anything about them? And I'm not talking mathematics or rocket science or anything of the sort, but rather casual topics that are meant to be common topics for discussion in social groups. For example, maybe cooking, or house prices, or whatever.

Yes very much so most small talk bores me... in groups though. In groups. I like talking about anything one on one simply because I love bonding.

Groups make me highly socially anxious. Forums don't feel like groups though.

Quote:What about how you behave socially? Have people made comments about how awkward you tend to be socially (e.g., lack of eye contact, lack of social smile, standing up/sitting down in an abnormal manner, selective muteness, etc.)?

I can't do selective muteness because I feel compelled to respond to everything out of fear of being deemed, or, rather, called, ignorant.

I despise being thought of as ignorant or ignoring someone.

I smile a lot I'm very eccentric and upbeat.

In the past however I have been very like how you describe. I've developed this extravert air about me... I used to be very very very socially anxious and noticably so. I got better at hiding it and it's still me being my true self because when I behave confident I feel confident. It's the "fake it 'til you make it" thing.

As for sitting strange... I sit on my legs often... to the extent and for such long periods of times that people ask "wow doesn't that hurt?"

Also as soon as a chair isn't available I'll sit on the floor... and I'll often see someone coming across the room with a chair and then they'll be shocked to discover I'm sitting on the floor. I like sitting on the floor it makes me feel my legs.

I dunno if you've ever seen the Anime "Death Note" but anyone who knows me in RL who has seen that series tends to compare me very much to L.

I also do this because I get extremely anxious when there is no chair and I immediately have to sit down because the alternative is to stand up and be criticized for standing up in a way that feels intimidating.

Then the vast majority of the time I'll be told I'm very meek and harmless and vulnerable and sweet and "too nice".

It all confuses me an awful awful lot.

It seems as though my personality can change in an instant, to be honest.

Quote:I mean, maybe you have a comorbidity of a couple of conditions, one of which is Asperger's, or maybe it's just OC. Hard to tell online. Hopefully, your psychiatrist/psychologist will inform you of the needed results soon. But happy to continue this exchange with you if you want.

How lovely!

Quote:EDIT: I like you too, Alasdair. You're a really sweet guy.

Yes. Everyone who knows me thinks so. I used to think it was arrogant to say that about myself but then many people who liked me and praised me told me it was not. It is only arrogant if I act superior. The point is many people are sweet not just me

I always wish everyone could bring both themselves and others up without exclusion. It's only when people bring themselves up but don't bring others up or when people bring others down that I see a problem.

Of course my "Can't we all just get along?!" approach is very idealistic and often in life I find that when I try to be friends with everyone I end up with no one.

There always seems to be those who recognize my true and good nature though