(October 15, 2016 at 10:30 am)LadyForCamus Wrote: @Drich -

I want to make sure I'm explaining myself clearly to you here.  As I said before, if you wanted to come into this thread advocating for women to report sexual assaults when they happen, I am behind you on that.  I wouldn't even be personally offended by your callous, "tough love" approach in advocating for that position.  If you came in and said something along the lines of, "listen ladies:  I know it's scary and painful, but you need to grow some vagina lips and stand up for yourselves, and for future victims," I'd probably be put-off by your lack of sensitivity, but...I agree with you.  I know I said some off the cuff comments out of emotion earlier, but I DO think it's critical that women report assaults as soon as possible.

So do I.

Quote:The problem in what you said was your patently false assertion that women who don't report their assaults weren't actually assaulted.  It's your failure to acknowledge the factual inaccuracy you put forth regarding the nature sexual assault trauma that is bothersome to me.

I find it odd that you defend your narrow world view. Rather than ask questions.

Again as I pointed out by defining Rape, that it is "illegal sexual activity." In that sense, if one does not report a rape in the state sanctioned SOL then one can not be legally charged. therefore from a legal POV the Rape did not happen as it can not be prosecuted or deemed illegal if it is not reported in the SoL.

So again, why for the SoL? Because the thought being.. Time as in 5 years, is the only measure we have to identify consent as it/consent is a state of mind that can change.

In other words it is far more likely that if someone does not report a rape in a 5 year period then at best concent is questionable. (reasonable doubt) and again Consent is the Only thing the separates rape from sex.

Quote:Implying that someone is weak, or a baby, or just plain morally wrong for not coming forward is certainly insensitive, but at least you are acknowledging that the allegation of non-consensual sex could potentially be TRUE, despite how you judge the individual's response to the trauma (and despite whether or not it's provable in a court of law).  Denying the existence of very real reasons people don't come forward is just willfully ignorant on your part.  Do you understand the difference here?

Again the reason one does not come forward is not a consideration. hence the emoji. There is nothing in the statute that allows for special consideration. So whatever the reason if the illegal sex act is not reported in the Statute of Limitation period, then the rape is not prosecutible therefore it is not a crime, therefore the "rape" as it applies to it's primary definition, did not happen. Without a timely report the alleged victim participated in forced sex. Which in of itself is not illegal, as some people enjoy it.

So again, what I am saying points to the need to report a rape in a timely manor. Because if you do not you yourself are contributing to a society of non prosicutable instances of forced sex.

I know this is not how most people view rape outside of the SOL but in truth all that I have said is simply another way of looking at it.

So why the harsh look? again it decentralizes the individual as the focal point of this act.. So even if you can't bring about helping yourself, you have 5 years to save another potential victim.

A rape victim's primary need is to simply put this out of their mind if they are left to their own devises. To focus in on themselves and count and recount all that they did wrong... Then the pity comes... Which has a tempory effect of making one feel better... Given enough time and enough pity one can force all of the hurt deep down and pretend nothing happened... But if the focus is taken off them and is placed on the next potential victim then true compassion will have that individual act. which is again apart of rebuilding and re empowering the individual who was hurt..

Or again, you can follow the societal model and help people stay victims by offering pity and compassion.

Compassion has it's time and place... Well outside the SOL is not the time... This screams of someone who has never sought to resolve this issue or someone who is good being a permanent victim.

Can you see the logic to everything now?

(October 15, 2016 at 10:44 am)Mermaid Wrote:

(October 15, 2016 at 10:30 am)LadyForCamus Wrote: @Drich -

I want to make sure I'm explaining myself clearly to you here.  As I said before, if you wanted to come into this thread advocating for women to report sexual assaults when they happen, I am behind you on that.  I wouldn't even be personally offended by your callous, "tough love" approach in advocating for that position.  If you came in and said something along the lines of, "listen ladies:  I know it's scary and painful, but you need to grow some vagina lips and stand up for yourself, and for future victims," I'd probably be off-put by your lack of sensitivity, but...I agree with you.  I know I said some off the cuff comments out of emotion earlier, but I DO think it's critical that women report assaults as soon as possible.

The problem in what you said was your patently false assertion that women who don't report their assaults weren't actually assaulted.  It's your failure to acknowledge the factual inaccuracy you put forth regarding the nature sexual assault trauma that is bothersome to me.  

Implying that someone is weak, or a baby, or just plain morally wrong for not coming forward is certainly insensitive, but at least you are acknowledging that the allegation of non-consent could potentially be TRUE, despite how you judge the individual's response to the trauma.  Denying the existence of very real reasons people don't come forward is just willfully ignorant on your part.  Do you understand the difference here?

Why should women report sexual assault? The norm is to doubt, berate, and blame anyone who has reported it. Rapists with eyewitnesses to the crime don't go to jail for more than a few months, and that's if they go to jail.
It won't be a deterrent because people who commit sexual assault are rarely punished.
Why SHOULD we report it?

Because, it's not about you. It is about the next person who gets raped because you said nothing.

It only takes one asshole like you on the jury, Dripshit, and the guy walks.

(October 15, 2016 at 11:23 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote: I am so sorry...

....Truly I do not understand the statement.. What do you have to be sorry for?

To me this is disingenuous.. You can't be sorry and mean it as you had nothing to do with the circumstances.(you just found out about it) You cant apologize for society or the community as you are not in a position to speak for it...

To me this is pity.

You simply feel bad this happened and feel a need to say something..

If this is the case, and you are unsure of the time line then isn't it possible that your offer of pity could do more harm than good?

Or is this just an empty gesture.. Kind like passing a co worker in the hall and asking 'how you doing?' but do not care in any way shape or form how one is doing.. it's just what you say...

(October 17, 2016 at 11:05 am)Mermaid Wrote:

(October 17, 2016 at 10:59 am)Drich Wrote: I did it both ways.. I by profession am a salesman. (among other things) I can sell people on just about anything. But here's the thing. I like Christ am not here to sell anyone on anything. I am here to provide the truth. (think rich young ruler, think zacheus, or the guy he told let the dead bury the dead. Think of the whip he fashioned to chase the money changers out of the temple. Think of all the times he called his well meaning disciples foolish..) There is a min mandated requirement that Christ demands, before the flood gates of grace and mercy were opened.

I tried selling people, and it worked out very well if you count the numbers of followers I had. But my efforts much like the modern church turned out to be little more than a social group with a religious theme. No life changing anything happened. people gather together and were nice to one another till they weren't and they handled each other no different than anyone else. This sickened me, as at this point your way, was the only way i knew to reach out to people, and yet I could not effect any real change with nearly 100+ people to work with.

Then i prayed for God to take eveything back if he needed and show me how to effect change even if on just one life. Overtime when I opened my bible, I noticed the Jesus we were taught in sunday school, was not the Jesus of scripture. Jesus was hard and cold towards those who's hearts were hard toward God or those just going through religious motions he was sharp tongued and demanded that people use what God gave them. Paul's letters were no different, Look at how he even rebukes the members of the church. Look how paul rebuked peter for teaching circumcision...
But when they repented grace and mercy abound.

Now then with this in mind why should i compromise anything? There has been a line drawn in the sand by God and is not taking people fooled across the line. We have see said line, acknowledge and cross it on his terms. Which this generation/culture has made evil via their own personal version of morality.

I am not allowed to point to sin and demand anyone to repent, so I focus on the broken/fallacious logic that is used to defend their beliefs. I literally tailor/use the same size "hammer" on them as they use on me. If it is scaled back to a conversation then I do the same. How ever if it is escalated, well I can do that too. This subject to me is no different than any other. If a person has an emotional tie to a subject I will never force it to discussion. However if you are willing to use tragedy as a talking point then it is you who has subjected yourself to scrutiny.

This place gives no quarter and none is expected from me. that is why I too have subjects I am reserved in discussing. But at the same time I do show compassion and respect in what I say. I do think out my messages and believe it or not tone them down, like in this case.

I identified the nym may not be ready for recovery and if she wasn't then she should allowed to be pitted if that is what she wanted but I also warned this is not going to help long term. I pointed out that if she is not wanting to have to relive the whole episode over and over again, then she will need some sort of actual help and she will need to acknowledge that gathering pity and pressing it all back down is not fixing anything, that it is nothing more than a band aide.

Now if you packed that with pity/over compassionate sell, then at the end of the day the pity remains and the need to get help goes away because if the person is just seeking pity to fashion another band aide then she will be feeling better at that point. Which again does more long term harm than good.

True compassion may have you take boot to ass to push someone in a direction they may not want to go at first, but long term they themselves will see they are in a far better place.

True compassion starts with not being a patronizing dickbag to people. What you claim is the "truth" is not everyone's truth.

oK let's start here..

Can you identify a "truth" I have said that is a non-truth to you?

(October 17, 2016 at 11:07 am)Iroscato Wrote: You dare even speak of 'true compassion', after everything you've said and done. You are beyond parody and contempt.

You hear that sound???

That is the sound of you mind closing a little tighter.

Or if I am wrong.. define "true compassion."

(October 17, 2016 at 12:38 pm)Drich Wrote:

(October 15, 2016 at 11:23 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote: I am so sorry...

....Truly I do not understand the statement.. What do you have to be sorry for?

To me this is disingenuous.. You can't be sorry and mean it as you had nothing to do with the circumstances.(you just found out about it) You cant apologize for society or the community as you are not in a position to speak for it...

To me this is pity.

You simply feel bad this happened and feel a need to say something..

If this is the case, and you are unsure of the time line then isn't it possible that your offer of pity could do more harm than good?

Or is this just an empty gesture.. Kind like passing a co worker in the hall and asking 'how you doing?' but do not care in any way shape or form how one is doing.. it's just what you say...

Could it be that because you (apparently) lack compassion, you just can't recognize it in other people? Also, word salad. Could you possibly organize your points in your head and be more conservative with them? I feel like your posts are rambling stream of consciousness diatribes that include everything from your own delusions of being a Jesus figure to some nonsense about a timeline having bearing on whether "pity" is genuine compassion or not. It's really hard to follow whenever it's not impossible. Perhaps a free course on essay writing or logic would be helpful.

(October 17, 2016 at 12:31 pm)Minimalist Wrote: It only takes one asshole like you on the jury, Dripshit, and the guy walks.

Fucked up, isn't it? Why would you want to report a rape when you're going to be ridiculed. It's actually much easier to pretend it never happened and bring it up only with your therapist whenever it stings.

(October 17, 2016 at 11:26 am)She Wrote: Actually, Drich, something being outside of the statute of limitations does not negate its illegality. It simply ceases to be enforceable . . . to some degree. You're just kind of making that up. Also, the reason for the statute of limitations is that it gets harder to prove and is thus a drain on resources. It has nothing to do with the likelihood that a woman changed "rape status" after five years. If she was raped five years ago, it's still rape. If she wasn't raped five years ago, odds are she's not going to stir the pot five years down the line. It's a rare case indeed where someone pretends to be raped years after the fact. Why wouldn't she just claim she was raped two weeks ago?

Is Rape Not a Criminal act? Are Criminal acts and illegal synonyms?

If so let's define criminal act:

A Criminal act is an act committed by a person that violates a law and which is punishable by the government. Criminal acts are offenses against the public which are punishable.

So if an offense is not punishable then then it is not a criminal act, it is not illegal.

rape is only rape if it is reported with in the SOL. out side of the SOL it ceases to be prosecutable.

What exactly am I make up?

(October 17, 2016 at 12:51 pm)Drich Wrote: Is Rape Not a Criminal act? Are Criminal acts and illegal synonyms?

If so let's define criminal act:

A Criminal act is an act committed by a person that violates a law and which is punishable by the government. Criminal acts are offenses against the public which are punishable.

So if an offense is not punishable then then it is not a criminal act, it is not illegal.

rape is only rape if it is reported with in the SOL. out side of the SOL it ceases to be prosecutable.

What exactly am I make up?

You exactly am makeup the punishable by government bit. http://lmgtfy.com/?q=illegal

Rape is rape a million years from now. Rape will still be rape when all the humans are dead. Rape that hasn't even happened yet is rape. In fact, rape doesn't have to be illegal to be rape. http://lmgtfy.com/?q=rape

Clicky linky will make for more knowing.