My mum has generally completely ignored my lack of faith and doesn't normally comment, but today we were chatting, she was asking me about various guys I know, trying to find out if I have a thing for any of them. Then out of the blue she said, "Well, at least one good thing has come out of all this. You won't have a white wedding in a church with all the bells and whistles attached - it'll save me money." I didn't know how to respond. I mean, I've thought about it before, but you can still have a wedding when you're an Atheist, right? I'm sure some people just get married at their local city hall. Non-religious weddings do exist, no? All I replied to her was "I suppose," because, Yes, obviously, I won't be getting married in a church. But I was wondering what everyone else thought of the topic, whether anyone on here who is married and not religious can tell me what they did for their cermony.
Thoughts?

Even religious people get married in places other than churches with all the bells and whistles of the traditional wedding.

Gawdzilla and I got married in a park. He was wearing white overalls and a red plaid shirt. I was wearing a lilac gingham blouse and a denim skirt. It was hillbilly formal.

It's your wedding, do what the hell you want.

After much protest from myself I broke down and went to the justice of the peace.....twice. The second time I actually paid a little extra to have the justice come out to my home and perform the ceremony in our living room. Then I gorged myself on ribs. In fact, I couldn't wait for the ceremony to be over, because the smell of the ribs had drifted from the kitchen to the fireplace where we were standing. Had I not been through the whole deal before, I assure you I wouldn't even know what was said. I love ribs.

(July 4, 2011 at 10:11 pm)Sciwoman Wrote: Even religious people get married in places other than churches with all the bells and whistles of the traditional wedding.

Gawdzilla and I got married in a park. He was wearing white overalls and a red plaid shirt. I was wearing a lilac gingham blouse and a denim skirt. It was hillbilly formal.

It's your wedding, do what the hell you want.

That sounds sweet, and to be honest, it's what I really wanted to tell my mother. Not that I'm planning on getting married soon or anything, but still. It annoyed me that she assumed you can't have a "big" wedding if you don't do it in a church.

(July 4, 2011 at 10:41 pm)Rhythm Wrote: After much protest from myself I broke down and went to the justice of the peace.....twice. The second time I actually paid a little extra to have the justice come out to my home and perform the ceremony in our living room. Then I gorged myself on ribs. In fact, I couldn't wait for the ceremony to be over, because the smell of the ribs had drifted from the kitchen to the fireplace where we were standing. Had I not been through the whole deal before, I assure you I wouldn't even know what was said. I love ribs.

This made me laugh I love ribs, too I suppose it's just a smaller affair if you go to your city hall, or whatever, right?

(July 4, 2011 at 10:04 pm)Catherine Wrote: ... I've thought about it before, but you can still have a wedding when you're an Atheist, right?

You can join yourself to someone in marriage any way you wish. Not all Christians are married in a church with all the bells and whistles.

I knew someone who married on a cruise ship, as they gave a Birthday surprise to their Fiancee' after they gifted them a ticket to a world cruise. Talk about costly bells and whistles! Because what this woman didn't know was that both her and her lovers family were on board for the event.

Religious values and tradition do not a marriage make. Love, sacrifice, mutual respect, friendship,trust, passion and patience does. So look forward to your special day and bring to bear all the bells and whistles you desire, as a proud atheist in love and ready to commit to someone who loves you as much as you first love yourself. After all, when it comes down to the religious inferences of your mum, even the Bible says that no thing made by mortal hands (like a church) can contain within it the true power and spirit of god. So church bells and whistles is just an expense for a building that does not contain anything but lumber, plumbing and electricity.

It isn't special and ceremony within isn't especially blessed nor is it something to be construed as abandoned and thus less in official capacity when an atheist partakes in a marriage ceremony that is not performed within a church. Unless of course an atheist marries a Theist and concedes to do so.

In truth, as soon as you both sign the marriage license you're officially married. The ceremony that may come after, is what is the bells and whistles that are at option, not requisite. Because every marriage was first and foremost a civil union. Religion or the lack thereof, has nothing to do with it.

My wife and I married at the JP's house. It was a small affair, immediate family only as neither of us wanted the large formal event. But I agree, have the wedding you want, there are other options that accommodate the larger traditional sort without the religious backdrop.

Well, IDK if it was a smaller affair,. There were a lot of people there to pay parking tickets and fines. We got the well wishes from them on the way out of the door.

City Hall weddings are usually small affairs - the bride, the groom, and a few witnesses. For something larger, most areas have places that can be rented for events like weddings - parks, botanical gardens, banquet halls, just to name a few. There are even museums that can be rented for weddings.

Catering Halls work. I work at a catering hall where people have a ceremony, religious or simply a union ceremony, and then the party is right there.

(July 4, 2011 at 10:04 pm)Catherine Wrote: My mum has generally completely ignored my lack of faith and doesn't normally comment, but today we were chatting, she was asking me about various guys I know, trying to find out if I have a thing for any of them. Then out of the blue she said, "Well, at least one good thing has come out of all this. You won't have a white wedding in a church with all the bells and whistles attached - it'll save me money." I didn't know how to respond. I mean, I've thought about it before, but you can still have a wedding when you're an Atheist, right? I'm sure some people just get married at their local city hall. Non-religious weddings do exist, no? All I replied to her was "I suppose," because, Yes, obviously, I won't be getting married in a church. But I was wondering what everyone else thought of the topic, whether anyone on here who is married and not religious can tell me what they did for their cermony [sic].
Thoughts?

My wife is an atheist, I am Wiccan. We decided when we got married that the only appropriate ceremony (for us) was a Discordian ceremony, attended only by a chipmunk. (Our ceremony can be posted here by request, if you dare.) (Colorado does not require an official to make a legal marriage, or even witnesses, just the signatures on the licence that says you are married.)

That said, a wedding is not about religion. A wedding is a declaration of a couple's commitment before the community. One can have a secular wedding just as fancy and as expensive as any religious one, if one desires. It is ignorance at best, and arrogance at worst, to think only the "religious" should have a large wedding ceremony.

And as a wedding is generally perceived to be one of the biggest moments in a person's adult life: if you desire, why shouldn't you have a large wedding? Moreover, why would your mother be "relieved" that because you are an atheist you would not want one (thereby saving her expenses, presumably).

That seems sort of mean-spirited on her part. Please pardon the shot over your mother's bow. However, I would think that any mother, seeing her child married, would (if that sort of thing interests her) want the big public blow-out, regardless of your religious faith or lack thereof.

As an atheist, I am sure you do not care for the blessing of a god or goddess from me, but please accept my own blessing for your happiness, should marriage strike your fancy.

James. "All acts of love and pleasure are My rituals."-Wiccan affirmation.

Doom, gloom, financial skullduggery, overpopulation, environmental disaster, pandemics, and Romance scams can all be found on my Sweetie's upbeat Website Cynics for a Better Tomorrow ( http://www.cynics4bettertommorrow.org ) A blog for the insufficiently depressed . Now: Pessimism, not magical thinking, is what will save us.