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Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 1:42 pm
I was discussing this in SLACK and got some fun and smart ideas. It made me think that there could be all kinds of clever ways to either catch this menace to society, or get back at them.
My office is an agency combo. We have a few agencies sharing the space. Our break room has five coffee makers, which belong to specific people. If you want to make coffee, you have to bring your coffee maker, coffee, and anything you need to brew it and prepare it. I have my name on top of mine: IVY’s.
I make my coffee every morning, so it’s ready by 8:30. I grab my mug and head to the break room already craving my coffee, when boom. I see it. The coffee maker. It’s empty. Someone has been taking MY coffee. Said person left a dollar under the maker the other day. The fuck?!
So, what should I do?
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 1:53 pm
Pee in trhe coffee makere
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RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 1:56 pm
And make sure you stop at Dunkin Donuts that day for your own coffee.
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RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 2:01 pm
Peeing in it would contaminate her coffee maker forever though.
Ppersonally, I'd start brewing larger pots, enough for myself and like 2 or 3 others, and go ahead and charge 1 buck each. What is just the grounds and filter worth for a cup, like 5c? Take advantage of the desperate coffee addicts, cha ching!
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RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 2:21 pm
(November 27, 2017 at 2:01 pm)Aroura Wrote: Peeing in it would contaminate her coffee maker forever though.
Ppersonally, I'd start brewing larger pots, enough for myself and like 2 or 3 others, and go ahead and charge 1 buck each. What is just the grounds and filter worth for a cup, like 5c? Take advantage of the desperate coffee addicts, cha ching!
I tried doing the coffee fund thing, but they began to request changes to the coffee. Too strong! Chill on the heaviness! Add cinnamon!
Hell nah! My coffee. My way. Heh
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 2:25 pm
If someone were lactating, a 'special' container of creamer might be a fun adjudication . . .
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RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 2:40 pm
(This post was last modified: November 27, 2017 at 2:43 pm by Fireball.)
Just put in three tablespoons of syrup of ipecac while it's brewing. You will find your culprit in short order.
Don't forget that you did it, though!
One place I worked, we had a community coffee pot. 20¢ a cup, no big deal. We had one cheap sumbitch bring in a mug that used half the carafe.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 2:47 pm
Some of you are just to nice.
How long does your maker take to brew?
Contamination with a hefty dose of salt should do the trick. Or Mag Citrate (not immediate so they may not get the connection but will fuck up their day). Might have to do it for a week straight. Maybe not catch, but stop.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental.
