Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: January 6, 2025, 3:11 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
Help me catch the office coffee thief

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
Help me catch the office coffee thief
Jackalope Away
Elon Musk owes me money
*******
Religious Views: Absent
Posts: 30980
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation: 141
#11
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 2:50 pm
(November 27, 2017 at 1:42 pm)J a c k Wrote: So, what should I do?

Nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Find
Reply
Pat Mustard Offline
God! Theresa, I forgot me fecking trousers!
****
Religious Views: the Disc's first ligthning proof atheist
Posts: 8280
Threads: 47
Joined: September 12, 2015
Reputation: 42
#12
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 3:07 pm
(November 27, 2017 at 1:53 pm)LastPoet Wrote: Pee in trhe coffee makere

Bleach. I poured a tiny amount into a litre of milk I owned when renting a house with a food thief. He never touched any of my stuff again.
Urbs Antiqua Fuit Studiisque Asperrima Belli

Home
Find
Reply
WinterHold Away
A ghost with a sarcastic blue face
Religious Views: Muslim((Neither Sunni,Nor Shia)).
Posts: 7677
Threads: 635
Joined: January 19, 2013
Reputation: 30
#13
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 3:08 pm (This post was last modified: November 27, 2017 at 3:10 pm by WinterHold.)




My advice is to make your coffee the moment you get to work. Don't leave beans inside the machine.
Find
Reply
Fireball Offline
Refractory Member
****
Religious Views: Nullifidian
Posts: 9952
Threads: 21
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation: 79
#14
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 3:59 pm
What Atlas said. Also, I had that problem once when I lived in a Dilbertland. I had to lock my coffee maker and fixin's up when I wasn't there. Most programs, I rated an office with a locking door. Nobody filching my stuff, then.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Find
Reply
J a c k Offline
Yo momma has swag.
*****
Religious Views: I eat yo taco.
Posts: 4068
Threads: 70
Joined: February 16, 2016
Reputation: 91
#15
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 4:09 pm
I go in at 8:30 and I arrive at 8:15. I leave it brewing at 8:15 and go log onto all my systems. I come back to get it at 8:30. Whomever takes it knows my routine.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Find
Reply
Jackalope Away
Elon Musk owes me money
*******
Religious Views: Absent
Posts: 30980
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation: 141
#16
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 4:13 pm
(November 27, 2017 at 4:09 pm)J a c k Wrote: I go in at 8:30 and I arrive at 8:15. I leave it brewing at 8:15 and go log onto all my systems. I come back to get it at 8:30. Whomever takes it knows my routine.

This sounds like a really good reason to alter your routine from 8:15-8:30.
Find
Reply
LadyForCamus Offline
Retired Staff
*****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 9915
Threads: 53
Joined: November 27, 2015
Reputation: 92
#17
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 4:17 pm
(November 27, 2017 at 1:42 pm)J a c k Wrote: I was discussing this in SLACK and got some fun and smart ideas. It made me think that there could be all kinds of clever ways to either catch this menace to society, or get back at them.

My office is an agency combo. We have a few agencies sharing the space. Our break room has five coffee makers, which belong to specific people. If you want to make coffee, you have to bring your coffee maker, coffee, and anything you need to brew it and prepare it. I have my name on top of mine: IVY’s.
I make my coffee every morning, so it’s ready by 8:30. I grab my mug and head to the break room already craving my coffee, when boom. I see it. The coffee maker. It’s empty. Someone has been taking MY coffee. Said person left a dollar under the maker the other day. The fuck?!

So, what should I do?

1. Replace coffee grounds/fill K-cup with human poop. 

2. Sit back and wait
Nay_Sayer: “Nothing is impossible if you dream big enough, or in this case, nothing is impossible if you use a barrel of KY Jelly and a miniature horse.”

Wiser words were never spoken. 
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35356
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#18
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 4:18 pm
(November 27, 2017 at 1:42 pm)J a c k Wrote: I was discussing this in SLACK and got some fun and smart ideas. It made me think that there could be all kinds of clever ways to either catch this menace to society, or get back at them.

My office is an agency combo. We have a few agencies sharing the space. Our break room has five coffee makers, which belong to specific people. If you want to make coffee, you have to bring your coffee maker, coffee, and anything you need to brew it and prepare it. I have my name on top of mine: IVY’s.
I make my coffee every morning, so it’s ready by 8:30. I grab my mug and head to the break room already craving my coffee, when boom. I see it. The coffee maker. It’s empty. Someone has been taking MY coffee. Said person left a dollar under the maker the other day. The fuck?!

So, what should I do?

Poison the rat bastard!

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
LadyForCamus Offline
Retired Staff
*****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 9915
Threads: 53
Joined: November 27, 2015
Reputation: 92
#19
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 4:18 pm (This post was last modified: November 27, 2017 at 4:18 pm by LadyForCamus.)
(November 27, 2017 at 3:08 pm)AtlasS33 Wrote:



My advice is to make your coffee the moment you get to work. Don't leave beans inside the machine.

This is one of my favorite Friends scenes of all time, lol. Poor Ross and moist-maker.
Nay_Sayer: “Nothing is impossible if you dream big enough, or in this case, nothing is impossible if you use a barrel of KY Jelly and a miniature horse.”

Wiser words were never spoken. 
Find
Reply
Whateverist Away Donators
Known religious sympathizer/accomodationist
*****
Religious Views: Be civil or die!
Posts: 23918
Threads: 300
Joined: June 25, 2011
Reputation: 151
#20
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
November 27, 2017 at 4:19 pm
(November 27, 2017 at 4:17 pm)LadyForCamus Wrote:
(November 27, 2017 at 1:42 pm)J a c k Wrote: I was discussing this in SLACK and got some fun and smart ideas. It made me think that there could be all kinds of clever ways to either catch this menace to society, or get back at them.

My office is an agency combo. We have a few agencies sharing the space. Our break room has five coffee makers, which belong to specific people. If you want to make coffee, you have to bring your coffee maker, coffee, and anything you need to brew it and prepare it. I have my name on top of mine: IVY’s.
I make my coffee every morning, so it’s ready by 8:30. I grab my mug and head to the break room already craving my coffee, when boom. I see it. The coffee maker. It’s empty. Someone has been taking MY coffee. Said person left a dollar under the maker the other day. The fuck?!

So, what should I do?

1. Replace coffee grounds/fill K-cup with human poop. 

2. Sit back and wait


Hope you're not going Catholic on us.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
Help me catch the office coffee thief

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Coffee and Orange Juice Silver 10 1128 August 14, 2022 at 5:45 am
Last Post: The Valkyrie
  How do you take your coffee? vulcanlogician 37 3484 September 27, 2021 at 10:20 pm
Last Post: chimp3
  Your ideal home office/computer pit. Gawdzilla Sama 4 924 August 25, 2018 at 12:34 pm
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Coffee has been banned...... Silver 28 3361 May 28, 2018 at 9:22 pm
Last Post: KevinM1
  The catch-all forum drama thread KevinM1 85 9543 May 9, 2018 at 1:00 pm
Last Post: *Deidre*
  How do you take your coffee? Antares 51 9792 April 19, 2018 at 1:02 pm
Last Post: The Industrial Atheist
  The Coffee Questionaire Silver 27 3417 September 30, 2017 at 6:41 am
Last Post: chimp3
  Clouds in my coffee, I'm not vain.... Brian37 6 798 September 29, 2017 at 8:35 am
Last Post: Brian37
  Tired All The Time Without Coffee Edwardo Piet 52 7319 August 30, 2017 at 7:26 pm
Last Post: The Valkyrie
  Microsoft office suites certification Shinagami 6 2347 July 31, 2015 at 12:19 am
Last Post: Tiberius



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)