(December 18, 2017 at 7:14 am)Mathilda Wrote: You kill a complete stranger somewhere completely random.

Not as easy as you think. For one there are security cameras everywhere, then you have to figure out weapon of choice, then where you'll do it and the logistics behind it like will there be people with this person, will there be people around this person, how would you lure this person somewhere isolated and many other things, after that an alibi that you were somewhere else at that time and after all these you have to make sure you don't leave any of your hair, marks, blood or anything that could connect to you from the body.

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(December 18, 2017 at 8:32 am)Joods Wrote: You do realize that things put in the www stay there, right? I'd be very careful answering this question. For me personally, I'm declining to answer that one.

Who knows, joods, if you're good enough you might get a job offer from cia

(December 18, 2017 at 8:46 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote:

(December 18, 2017 at 7:14 am)Mathilda Wrote: You kill a complete stranger somewhere completely random.

The challenge is in murdering someone that you know.

We've never met. 

Correction: You've never met me. I on the other hand know that you snore.

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(December 18, 2017 at 9:39 am)pool the matey Wrote:

(December 18, 2017 at 7:14 am)Mathilda Wrote: You kill a complete stranger somewhere completely random.

Not as easy as you think. For one there are security cameras everywhere, then you have to figure out weapon of choice, then where you'll do it and the logistics behind it like will there be people with this person, will there be people around this person, how would you lure this person somewhere isolated and many other things, after that an alibi that you were somewhere else at that time and after all these you have to make sure you don't leave any of your hair, marks, blood or anything that could connect to you from the body.

Not on some otherwise deserted mountain where you can drag a body away never to be found again. Easy to do here in Scotland.

Roald Dahl came up with the ultimate perfect murder in his short story "Lamb to the Slaughter".

A woman learns her husband, a police detective, is having an affair. So she snaps and caves his head in with a frozen leg of lamb they were going to have for Sunday lunch. Then she puts the lamb in to cook, goes out as though everything is fine to buy some vegetables she 'forgot' and comes home to 'find' the body.

She calls the police and soon all his colleagues are examining the scene. They console his grieving widow, who insists that they eat the meal she's cooked as she can't face it. So then all the officers and inspectors are sitting round speculating what kind of iron bar or wrench the killer used, while they're eating the murder weapon.

Cyberman Wrote:They console his grieving widow, who insists that they eat the meal she's cooked as she can't face it.

Lol that's ridiculous. Any murder scene is immediately sealed off so people won't accidentally or deliberately destroy evidence. It's a nice story but it's in no way a ultimate perfect murder irl

I suggest you read the story. The meat is already cooked by the time the police arrive.

I’m too busy raping and pillaging to plan a murder

You expect me to give up the methods of my trade? pff

(December 18, 2017 at 8:35 am)vulcanlogician Wrote:

(December 18, 2017 at 8:32 am)Joods Wrote: You do realize that things put in the www stay there,  right? I'd be very careful answering this question.  For me personally,  I'm declining to answer that one.

Here is a gal who is keeping her options open. She isn't going to tell us her elaborate plan for the perfect murder because, well, some day she might need to carry it out. 

Edit: pronoun change

Stop encroaching on the family business.

Killing at random: I would visit one of those markets with machines people use to grind coffee beans, and put poison on top of the beans already in the hopper. It may take a few days to a few weeks, but someone would eventually grind the poisoned beans and take them home. 

Killing a specific person: I would rig their headphones to explode during the second chorus of 'Dancing Queen'. 

Boru

(December 18, 2017 at 6:41 am)pool the matey Wrote: Just a thought exercise...
How would you go about killing someone?

Lock them in the cupboard and beat and fuck them every now and then . . . and wait for them to eventually starve to death (I'd let them drink . . . just not anything that doesn't come out of my body) . . . and then I'd dump their body in a river?

Seen as we're talking entirely fictional pointless exercises of something illegal that we'd never actually do in reality . . . I may as well go all the way right?

And I thought I'd try and make Beccs sound like a greenhorn for once

DISCLAIMER: All claims and statements in this post are entirely fictitious and bear no resemblance to anything that has ever actually happened or ever would actually happen. I'm a lovely guy who would never be violent, murder or rape anyone. This should all go without saying but what can I say some people are silly and need things spelling out.

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(December 18, 2017 at 11:22 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Killing a specific person: I would rig their headphones to explode during the second chorus of 'Dancing Queen'. 

Boru

FUCK!!!!!!!!!

That's goddamn awful, Boru. HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH EVIL AND SADISTIC THINGS?!?!?!?

Here I was thinking I'd written the most awful post on AF ever and here you are beating me to it.

Hmm. Well I guess it is rather kind of you to at least put them out of their misery with exploding headphones afterwards. It's the torturing them with ABBA first that I find especially immoral. I dunno how you can even say such unthinkable and speakable things. It's vile to even read!