(January 16, 2018 at 11:15 pm)pool the matey Wrote: @everyone defending this dude, will you have the same attitude if this happened to your daughter?

My daughters wouldn't have been in that situation to begin with.

-said so many fathers.....and yet.

We get it, your daughters aren't capital H whores. But..cmon, a little understanding and support for the whores of the world? We might imagine that they're icky and that our very own princesses are above such lowly debasement...but that doesn't -actually- answer the heart of the question being asked. Every whore is somebody's darling little girl.

(January 17, 2018 at 5:08 am)Thena323 Wrote: It's amazing to watch people carry on as if they don't remember that "Grace" DID NOT accuse Ansari of RAPE,

Correct.

Quote:but of being a pushy, piggy, creep.

At the end of the article, she determines - after discussing with her friends - that it was sexual assault.

(January 15, 2018 at 9:06 pm)Chad32 Wrote: Yeah, if she didn't like it, she should have said no right away. And if he stopped when she said no, then that's what should be expected. If he's having a fabulous time, he shouldn't be blamed for not noticing she's not enjoying it just as much, until she starts pushing him away and saying stop.

She sent him clear nonverbal esp cues. What more do you want.

I think that people who are having trouble understanding nonverbal sexual cues should probably abstain from attempting to have sex.  

It's not that hard, but if we're entertaining the notion..for example..that there's just no way ansari could have known without having ESP..then he probably is a danger to himself and to females. He's going to "accidentally" rape the shit out of some poor, quiet girl who failed to keep the aspirin pressed between her knees like daddy told her to...because he just doesn't know any better and there's no way for him to figure it out.

Not saying there's a connection to this incident, but FWIW, he made a series for Netflix or some such. The first episode was about an awkward hookup that ended up at a drug store looking for a morning-after pill. I didn't make it all the way to the end, just wasn't funny. This might be par for the course for him.

(January 17, 2018 at 1:31 am)wallym Wrote:

Damn, you beat me to it!   

I disagree that it’s a comparable scenario though.  And, I don’t think women should be operating under the assumption that every guy who hits on her while they’re alone together is going to most certainly rape her if she rejects his advances, lol.

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(January 17, 2018 at 7:38 am)alpha male Wrote:

(January 16, 2018 at 11:15 pm)pool the matey Wrote: @everyone defending this dude, will you have the same attitude if this happened to your daughter?

My daughters wouldn't have been in that situation to begin with.

You think that Alpha, but frankly, you’re probably wrong.  Everyone makes bad decisions along the way.

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(January 17, 2018 at 5:08 am)Thena323 Wrote: It's amazing to watch people carry on as if they don't remember that "Grace" DID NOT accuse Ansari of RAPE, but of being a pushy, piggy, creep. Perhaps the reason she considered his behavior to be noteworthy, AND the reason why the press saw fit to run the story, was because the guy was clearing misrepresenting himself in purporting to be a staunch ally/supporter of sexual harassment and misconduct awareness.

Like it or not, such blatant hypocrisy on the part of a well-known celebrity is indeed considered newsworthy.
 
Yet and still, we have many folks, including women (many of whom are sexual assault survivors) enthusiastically try 'Grace" in the Most High Court of Shoulda Woulda Coulda and determine her to be not a victim of anything even resembling mistreatment, due to her personal "failings" and "stupidity", but fail remarkably at holding "poor Aziz" to the same rigorous standards and scrutiny of what "should've" been done.

Unfortunately, it's just not uncommon for some survivors of sexual assault to engage in vehement victim-blaming. They've been socialized to do so, along with everyone else. 
Still, it's pretty sickening to watch. Very sad.

I don’t think that’s a fair representation of anything I’ve said.  I just don’t believe she was the victim of a crime.  I’m sorry that she had such trouble verbalizing what she wanted and didn’t want.  And, as I’ve said before, I think he behaved like an insensitive prick.  I think they both could have done better, but I fail to see an assault here.  

And @Cecilia, if you read, I have already said I don’t think this scenario is comparable to child/adult, or incapacitated female/male scenarios which, given the same actions, would unquestionably be sexual assault.  I don’t think she’s stupid, and I’m certainly not saying, “well, if she didn’t want sex she shouldn’t have gone back to his place.”  I’m simply of the opinion that she did a lousy job of expressing non-consent.  And, he did a lousy job of being an empathetic, attentive sexual partner.

(January 16, 2018 at 5:14 pm)Khemikal Wrote:

(January 16, 2018 at 5:10 pm)Shell B Wrote: Yeah, duh.

Turns out, she actually is saying it was assault. I misspoke on that.

Ah, well...I don't think she's gonna be able to make that one stick.  I don;t know if that amounts to much,  I don't think that she could make it stick even if it were, meaningfully, a sexual assault.

Wouldn't matter anyway, whether or not it was assault. In these sorts of cases, usually the accusation is enough. Maybe not in the legal arena, but most definitely in the public one. Some years ago, a relative of mine was accused of sexual assault on minors. He denied it, the statements of the alleged victims were all over the place, forensic and other investigation came back negative, and one of the alleged victims even came out and gave details of why they were making the allegations (hint: compensation money). Yet my relative still served nine years after being coerced into pleading guilty by his own solicitor. His name is on the sex offenders register for the rest of his life.

But despite knowing all the context, there were people at the time - and still are - who said they don't care about all that and that he obviously must be guilty, because why else would the kids say such things? Why would the police have locked him up? Phrases like "no smoke without fire" were thrown about even by people who have known him for years.

(January 16, 2018 at 11:15 pm)pool the matey Wrote: @everyone defending this dude, will you have the same attitude if this happened to your daughter?

Hopefully my daughter would speak up when she doesn't like something.

(January 17, 2018 at 7:52 am)Khemikal Wrote: I think that people who are having trouble understanding nonverbal sexual cues should probably abstain from attempting to have sex.

I'm sure you're not advocating breeding out people with (eg) Asperger's from the population, and that I'm reading more into your textual cues than you intended.