Posts: 4068
Threads: 70
Joined: February 16, 2016
Reputation:
91
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 4:10 pm
(January 17, 2018 at 4:07 pm)Tizheruk Wrote: (January 17, 2018 at 3:58 pm)Shell B Wrote: "some form of intimacy" "some sexual activity"
You're saying the same thing.
No i'm not . I'll give you a personal example . My girlfriends and i get naked when we watch TV sometimes or often in bed were not wearing clothes . Were not nudist nor are we have sex . So intimacy can mean more then just sex .
But you’re in a relationship and have had plenty sex before. You’ve been comfortable and a history of sex doesn’t make it weird. Being naked to watch movies makes sense.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Posts: 1715
Threads: 9
Joined: September 20, 2015
Reputation:
18
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 4:10 pm
(This post was last modified: January 17, 2018 at 4:11 pm by Mermaid.)
(January 17, 2018 at 4:04 pm)alpha male Wrote: (January 17, 2018 at 3:53 pm)Mermaid Wrote: Is this something everyone is capable of doing?
It's something everyone (excluding certain mental disabilities) is capable of learning to do.
Quote:Have you ever thought for a minute about why someone would feel unable to eject from a social situation like this?
Yes, I can think of various reasons. But what's the solution?
1. Such women avoid such situations and work on their assertiveness.
2. No man ever knows if what he's doing is acceptable until after the fact.
I think the first is more reasonable. Of course people are capable of learning to communicate. That doesn't mean that a lot of women do not feel they cannot, or at least it is not clear at first that they can, for the reasons stated by Jack a few posts up.
Your list is a tiny bit incomplete.
If The Flintstones have taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.
-Homer Simpson
Posts: 2308
Threads: 23
Joined: January 18, 2017
Reputation:
35
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 4:12 pm
Her comment about feeling forced came pretty early assuming Tizheruk's quotes are all in chronological order. While it's not "Hand's off, creep!", it's the type of statement that should stop any guy with a sense of empathy. I think it came before the bj and the butt and penis thing.
He still kept sticking his fingers in her mouth.
Posts: 67088
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
162
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 4:12 pm
(This post was last modified: January 17, 2018 at 4:13 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
Another suggestion..and it's not aimed at anyone here, but referencing the bj sets a shitty precedent. Particularly that a rapist could then conceivably be aware that..if he somehow gets a girl to blow him in what people are willing to entertain as a "bad date gone wrong" he can then use that as a way to discredit the larger (and potentially more serious) allegation.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 11697
Threads: 117
Joined: November 5, 2016
Reputation:
43
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 4:14 pm
(January 17, 2018 at 4:10 pm)J a c k Wrote: (January 17, 2018 at 4:07 pm)Tizheruk Wrote: No i'm not . I'll give you a personal example . My girlfriends and i get naked when we watch TV sometimes or often in bed were not wearing clothes . Were not nudist nor are we have sex . So intimacy can mean more then just sex .
But you’re in a relationship and have had plenty sex before. You’ve been comfortable and a history of sex doesn’t make it weird. Being naked to watch movies makes sense.
But we do bring other girls in who are not part of our relationship (which is why i say girlfriends ) and we do the same . (note it might be a cultural thing Canada is pretty liberal about nudity in casual )
Seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy -- myself.
Inuit Proverb
Posts: 12806
Threads: 158
Joined: February 13, 2010
Reputation:
111
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 4:15 pm
(January 17, 2018 at 4:07 pm)Tizheruk Wrote: (January 17, 2018 at 3:58 pm)Shell B Wrote: "some form of intimacy" "some sexual activity"
You're saying the same thing.
No i'm not . I'll give you a personal example . My girlfriends and i get naked when we watch TV sometimes or often in bed were not wearing clothes . Were not nudist nor are we have sex . So intimacy can mean more then just sex .
That's completely different, and I suspect you know it. Getting naked at someone else's house usually doesn't me "Let's binge Game of Thrones."
OMG, you're calling him a rapist now, Khem. Fuckin' hell. Sometimes I get the sense that "feminist-friendly" dudes often just demonize anyone who even slightly upsets a woman for fear of not being true to the "cause." It's definitely a trend I've seen in this forum.
Posts: 11697
Threads: 117
Joined: November 5, 2016
Reputation:
43
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 4:15 pm
(January 17, 2018 at 4:10 pm)Mermaid Wrote: (January 17, 2018 at 4:04 pm)alpha male Wrote: It's something everyone (excluding certain mental disabilities) is capable of learning to do.
Yes, I can think of various reasons. But what's the solution?
1. Such women avoid such situations and work on their assertiveness.
2. No man ever knows if what he's doing is acceptable until after the fact.
I think the first is more reasonable. Of course people are capable of learning to communicate. That doesn't mean that a lot of women do not feel they cannot, or at least it is not clear at first that they can, for the reasons stated by Jack a few posts up.
Your list is a tiny bit incomplete.
Or will feel their communications will not be respected .
Seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy -- myself.
Inuit Proverb
Posts: 12806
Threads: 158
Joined: February 13, 2010
Reputation:
111
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 4:16 pm
(This post was last modified: January 17, 2018 at 4:17 pm by Shell B.)
(January 17, 2018 at 4:12 pm)Khemikal Wrote: Another suggestion..and it's not aimed at anyone here, but referencing the bj sets a shitty precedent. Particularly that a rapist could then conceivably be aware that..if he somehow gets a girl to blow him in what people are willing to entertain as a "bad date gone wrong" he can then use that as a way to discredit the larger (and potentially more serious) allegation.
And if we head down your road, every bj is rape if she says so.
(January 17, 2018 at 4:08 pm)Tizheruk Wrote: (January 17, 2018 at 4:05 pm)Tiberius Wrote: Or to put it another way:
If I went on a date, brought that date home, she got naked, and I asked her "Did you want to have sex?", she'd probably think I was a little slow on the uptake.
I wouldn't . And i think people should ask .
Tibs didn't. Guess he raped me.
Posts: 15452
Threads: 147
Joined: June 15, 2015
Reputation:
88
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 4:18 pm
We've been over this lol. Getting naked with a guy in his house is not consent, but it is A non verbal cue that you're interested in getting sexual. And like I said, that is something to keep in mind if you're going to rely on a man trying to figure out what your intentions are based on non verbal cues.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
Posts: 11697
Threads: 117
Joined: November 5, 2016
Reputation:
43
RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 4:19 pm
(This post was last modified: January 17, 2018 at 4:21 pm by Amarok.)
(January 17, 2018 at 4:15 pm)Shell B Wrote: (January 17, 2018 at 4:07 pm)Tizheruk Wrote: No i'm not . I'll give you a personal example . My girlfriends and i get naked when we watch TV sometimes or often in bed were not wearing clothes . Were not nudist nor are we have sex . So intimacy can mean more then just sex .
That's completely different, and I suspect you know it. Getting naked at someone else's house usually doesn't me "Let's binge Game of Thrones."
OMG, you're calling him a rapist now, Khem. Fuckin' hell. Sometimes I get the sense that "feminist-friendly" dudes often just demonize anyone who even slightly upsets a woman for fear of not being true to the "cause." It's definitely a trend I've seen in this forum. Then your assessment is wrong .
How is it different. Were nude, Were being intimate,But were not having sex . And as i just pointed out other women who are not in our relationship do the same (But again it may be cultural)
Quote:Tibs didn't. Guess he raped me.
You said it not me .
Quote: but it is A non verbal cue that you're interested in getting sexual
Nope it could mean you want some level of intamintimacy but not sex .
Seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy -- myself.
Inuit Proverb
|
